To keep the family home?

jkw118 · 2023-10-10T21:51:05+00:00

So i get it. My ex left 7 years ago..it was important for me to stay here, my kids r a little older..and all in school. So last thing i wanted was to take them out of school.. the area im in. I cant/couldnt afford to buy a house in the school district. Its expensive. Couldn't afford new mortgage till recently.. and even then buying a new house, ehich id have preferred. Id loose square footage and bedrooms.. That being said.. i stayed. I removed the 86 pineapple decor things. The kids helped me redecorate, hell i got rid of alot of her crap put it in boxes dropped it off.. used kids school art projects and put them in cheap frames..
I've been asked if some of them are pros... plus its a good kid dad thing to do.. I dont think about the ex here.. to me a house is a house four walls and a roof.. what makes a home is the people in it, ie my kids and me.

One exercise i did was take a room consider if it was empty. What would you do..this isnt your exs house its yours.. how do u want it..

Reflog1791 · 2023-10-10T17:11:09+00:00

I moved out to an apartment then flipped my equity payout into my dream home. The stars aligned and the timing was perfect. I bought the house from friends. My daughter and I were hanging out here a lot. When they said they were moving and asked if I wanted to buy it I didn’t think I could afford it. One day I was relaxing on the back patio and I realized if there was ANY way I could buy this house I should do it. I made it happen and am very happy.

I would consider living in the same school district. That makes everything easier.

There is nothing wrong with selling the home and splitting the proceeds. It can easily be the consequence of divorce. I would caution you against making any sweetheart deals with your ex. As soon as the ink is dry on the divorce you should expect that a new suitor can move in. This is why it’s important to get your custody right and your asset split right. If you give her a sweetheart deal some new guy will reap the benefits and you will get no thank you’s or respect.

captainchippsixx · 2023-10-10T17:26:46+00:00

You have to weigh the pros and cons. Can you super cleanse the decor and start new that way? Then re dec your way.

But also don’t you must must must plan for her not to play nice and want the house and somehow putting the cost on you.

To_Shrug · 2023-10-10T18:38:39+00:00

You are going to feel better once you don't see her anymore. You can make the house work, just need to make new memories. Housing prices are inflated right now and interest rates are high. If you already have a house that is working for you, let your STBX deal with those problems. You have enough stuff to worry about. MOVING SUCKS!

HereinPA1 · 2023-10-10T20:06:16+00:00

I’m living this now. She moved out at the end of July and I’m in the house we raised our family in. The first few weeks were absolutely brutal with the memories all around. I’ve since removed most of the reminders of her and replaced with things I liked.

Doesn’t solve all of it but it’s better. My daughter is 16 so only two more years until graduation. I am in no way keeping the house. It’s beautiful and I love it, but starting over to me means starting over with everything.

I have no interest in refinancing, buying her out and staying here long term. I just got her revisions to our separation agreement yesterday and she put in there I will refinance by the end of the year and she would get close to $200k in her portion of the equity. I’m not adding that debt at the crazy rates now.

Something we need to work on, but I plan to sell when we can.

sak144 · 2023-10-11T00:22:21+00:00

I kept mine to ensure stability for my kids and am glad I did it. Love the house - did a lot of the improvements myself and the location is great. Could not buy anything comparable for anywhere near the price now.

You can put your own stamp on it when she leaves - remodel, redecorate and do anything you want. If you like it, try to keep it. I think the kids need that stable anchor.

whiskey_piker · 2023-10-11T03:58:17+00:00

The house goes in 9/10 scenarios

swampdonkey69769 · 2023-10-14T04:28:50+00:00

I live in Georgia and my divorce hearing was 4 weeks ago. When it came to the home, I knew it would go 1 of 3 ways… buy her out, she buy me out or we sell. Never thought that she would win the home and the equity. It’s true what we hear about men in divorce about courts being fair and equal- it’s bullshit

Title	To keep the family home?
Author	ExcellentOwl6387
Upvotes	5
Comments	8
Date	October 10, 2023 4:41 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/174prbx/to_keep_the_family_home/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/to-keep-the-family-home.1234655 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234655

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