Emotionally drained and depressed

justme4556 · 2023-10-16T01:03:55+00:00

It does get better. But you gotta weather the storm. I am in a similar boat. Except I am filling next week. Remember it will get better for you never for them. Hang in there. Feel free to dm me if you need to.

_vinland_ · 2023-10-16T04:53:30+00:00

Statistically women file 80% of divorces, meaning it's gotta be really bad for the man to file to risk the financial hit. The way she jumps into a new relationship is very narcissistic. I'd recommend listening to as much Dr. Ramani as you can:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSyj5Qpu2Sc

Gattsama · 2023-10-16T09:07:37+00:00

Every story is different, but the same dozen or so core themes keep getting repeated. I'm in the smaller group of men that filed. If no has filed yet, you need to do it first. Legally it doesn't matter. But it's the first step towards taking back control of your life and healing. It's you saying that you do no accept / want the relationship. It forces her to respond, instead of you having to respond.

In my case no kids, that makes it a lot easier and less complicated. It does get better. It gets as good as you choice to make it. This might sound impossible now but your life will be better after this is all done. Because you won't be entangled with this person that is hurting you. Then you heart will heal and you'll look back and laugh. I know it sounds impossible, but you will look back and laugh at why you every wanted this person, why you allowed them the power to hurt you, and the choices you made that lead to termination.

After I filed I had this waves of guilt that would hit me. I would just start crying and panicking. I made vows to love her in sickness and health, for better or worst, until death due us part. And I wasn't dead. I worried about her, who would take care of her, etc. Again everyone's story is different. But in the end, I came to accept that: we are not healthy together, we are not romantically combatable, I can not give her grace, I see no future where we are able to solve our issues.

However, before it gets better it's going to get worst. Divorce is a multimillion dollar business and is setup to cause more conflict, not less. There are millions of men that have come before you, they made it through and many are living way better lives on the other side. You can do the same. Reach out to those that love you, if you are a believer to your religious support groups, find a men's group and exercise. Exercise is important, it doesn't have to be anything super intense, just movement. And you schedule it, you do it even if you don't feel like it (another reason not to go super intense). The ritual, the control, the anti-depressant affects, etc.

Consider joining a 24hr gym and if you can't sleep -> gym. Want to drink -> gym.

Be safe out there...

Is0prene · 2023-10-16T09:13:15+00:00

Man that just sucks I feel for you. My ex got remarried super fast too. She was married just 3 months after we finalized. Things are looking pretty bad for her now and its only been 3 months since then. This woman who divorced me thought she had all the answers and the grass was greener on the other side is having a rude awakening. Your situation is different as most of us were divorced by our ex and not the other way around. It does get better, but it will take time. Do not drink, it will only get worse if you do. Do not date. Only focus on you and focus on your kids, and focus on the divorce. Everything else will come in time. Be glad she is dating and focusing her attention on another idiot and not on different ways to slash you in the divorce. Hang in there. Life will get so much better if you do it the right way.

One_Cartographer_465 · 2023-10-16T17:07:03+00:00

It DOES GET BETTER! You are being hit from all sides emotionally which is what is draining and depressing you. However, these things will get better/go away one by one. Your situation will improve incrementally. My last divorce I was stuck with my STBX in the same house and the most miserable part of the divorce was the stress of going home everyday to see her and deal withe her drama, her taking every opportunity to twist the knife. I suspect that this is a large part of your stress. When I figured out how to get her out of my house, the day she left, you would not believe the weight lifted. I had a sanctuary once again.

from what you say, it looks like you have a good case to get custody or your kids, that would be huge, as well.

Good luck.

Title	Emotionally drained and depressed
Author	organicwilly
Upvotes	11
Comments	6
Date	October 16, 2023 12:51 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/178tt9y/emotionally_drained_and_depressed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/emotionally-drained-and-depressed.1235264 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235264

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