I haven't really seen much discussion on approaches like mine. There's this weird misconception that in order to succeed in dating you need to be bold and weirdly sexually aggressive or whatever. I'd like to detail an alternative, because there might be guys like me out there that will find this relatable.

Absolutely none of this will work unless you get more attractive the longer people are around you. A good gauge for this is the number of friends in your social circle. Attractiveness is just cool to be around x sexual attraction. If you nail the cool to be around part, you will find friends and be half way to qualifying for an intimate relationship. If you hold a lot of, er, controversial opinions, you're on the clock until she figures out the values that inform your beliefs and dips. I can't help you if that's the case. I don't do things on the clock outside of work.

A major concern I could see about this philosophy is the proximity of shyness, neuro-divergence, and introversion to creepiness. Another would be questioning just how you were supposed to meet women with that complete lack of approach. Reasonable concerns, and easily addressed.

Creepiness is simply the discomfort inherent to being unsure if you are in danger. With that in mind, all you need to do to not be creepy is adhere to the social contract. Don't stare. Don't hover. Be in a group, or all the way out of a group. Morally repugnant shit like racist jokes are out of the question. Ditto all other bigotry. Don't make weird sex talk. Small talk is one of the most valuable skills you should perfect as soon as possible. Once you have introduced yourself and discussed the weather; you would have to work extremely hard to get her to find you creepy, because she's met you and spoken to you like a normal person.

But how are there even girls around to make small talk with?! Well, it turns out that between work and a healthy social life, women you don't know will just be around you at times. In pubs and nightclubs friend groups mix and mingle. Or you stand next to people at the bar. You absolutely do need a decent friend network and an active social life in order to meet a good amount of people, but you should be doing that anyway! Friends and gatherings are fun.

When it comes to actually hitting on women, I sort of... don't. Every single time a woman naturally comes into my proximity and it's socially appropriate to make small talk, I will. And I don't have ulterior motives. I genuinely want to know how their night is going. 90% of these conversations will run their course after the small talk, and that's cool and normal. What you are looking for, is the special 10%.

Occasionally, during the small talk something will feel different. You will just naturally gel with this girl. The conversation is effortless, and it doesn't peter out. Topics just flow from one to the next. Now we're talking. If our time is cut short at this point, I would definitely shoot a shot if I liked her. A simple 'Hey I really enjoyed this chat, don't suppose you'd like to continue it some time?'.

If your time is not interrupted, try just enjoying the conversation. If she's single, and if she likes you, I guarantee that she will start to flirt with you. Women are mostly highly capable social actors, and they do not mind starting the flirting. It's still innocent with plausible deniability. If you were enjoying the conversation and focussing on her, you should pick up that the tone of the conversation has shifted to something not necessarily sexual, but personal. Follow her lead. Enjoy yourself.

If anyone finds this helpful or hopeful, I'm glad. If anyone has questions, comments, or critiques of anything I've written, feel free to comment. If you've got questions outside the scope of the OP I'll still try and answer them as best I can.