DISCLAIMER: This is just what works for me. You are not me. And the girls looking at your profile probably aren't the ones looking at mine. Assume it is the consensus that none of this works.

I am fat and old. I am really close to the age where tinder is inappropriate for me to reasonably use, so while my active success is still current I'll pass on what works for a person who is way less than the physical and, er, un-old ideal.

Photos

I am not an adonis. I do not want to sell women something I am not. So I sell them what I am.

My cover photo is of me smiling like a goofball at last year's little birthday cake with a lit candle flanked by friends. I chose this photo because it's a rare photo where I look both good and genuinely happy. I'm the type of guy who is very pleased to be with friends and honoured that they'd join him on his birthday.

Second photo is a photo of me at my mate's wedding with the newly weds. I chose this photo because it lets women know that whoever I am I'm at least the type of guy that someone wants at one of the most important days of their lives. The other reason is because as mentioned, I am fat. But I can fucking dress. My suit was tailor made not to conceal the fact I'm fat, but to work with the fact that I'm fat. I look good in a suit. Fat or not fat. So it's here.

Third photo is whatever because there is no way I'm worth more than one swipe to a bored woman, so I just chose one that I like. It's me doing sparkle fingers with my freshly painted nails as designed and executed by my 8 year old niece. I love my niece, and don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of my nails no matter how fabulous and bizarre.

Bio

I have no idea if many women read my bio, but I still put some effort in.

I just say briefly what I've done, what I do, and what I'm planning to do. It is way easier to date people whose current and future plans at least roughly align with yours, and who at least won't object to the things you've done.

I make jokes while giving the rough outlines , because I make jokes all the time. They're terrible, but I'm looking for someone who finds it endearing instead of annoying.

That's it. Those are my reasons for doing those things. Hope someone found it interesting.