How to increase my chances of getting asked out by a man?

CauliflowerElegant76 · 2023-11-18T17:48:10+00:00

I can relate to this. I was the girl with the dry DMs, never getting approached and wondering what I can do to attract more men. I tried to find a reason for being this way, everything seemed fine about me, I wasn’t bad looking, I was in shape. However I realized I was looking for the wrong thing. Having many options to choose from is not a good thing. There were very few guys who actually met my standards and were boyfriend material in my eyes so I changed my mindset. I accepted the fact that not attracting a bunch of low value men was actually a good thing for me and that having guys chase me wouldn’t add any value in my life.

I spent many years working to be happily single, as weird as that sounds. I focused on becoming feminine, dressing nice, and taking good care of myself. I worked on my self-esteem and confidence. Suddenly finding a boyfriend became a last priority for me, I was just so happy with the way my life was. Out of nowhere, an amazing guy started taking interest in me and he’s now my boyfriend. Right when I was least expecting something and not looking at all, my dream man just popped out of nowhere.

So moral of the story, don’t overthink it. There are other women going through the same thing. Not all of us are being asked out constantly like the red pill makes it seem.

Jenneapolis · 2023-11-18T17:51:03+00:00

I just wrote a post related to this yesterday that might be helpful for you. My guess would be that you need to work on your girl game. When you start talking to men, make sure you flirt with them. Be fun, positive, show interest in them, flirt, make sure they know you are interested and attracted to them. If you are expecting them to do all the work of pursuing or just having platonic conversations, they are going to see you as platonic.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2023-11-19T03:35:04+00:00

What culture/country are you in? A lot of us are American or Western and the advice could change drastically based on the answer to that question.

Azihayya · 2023-11-19T17:29:48+00:00

My advice would be, that you don't have to change who you are and how you behave--but I think you should be assertive in making your thoughts clear to guys that you're interested in, and take that initiative yourself. I think for anyone who is interested in other people, whether they're men or women, the most effective thing you can do is to be straightforward about how you feel; standing back and waiting doesn't seem like an effective strategy to me. This is about what you want, and if other people reciprocate that, they'll either be doing the same thing, or they'll let you know when you tell them.

Subject-Scientist719 · 2023-11-19T13:28:48+00:00

Most people are cowards.

Most men are cowards.

From an evolutionary standard, getting rejected by a woman in a tribe of, oh say, 100 people, would have been very damaging to a man's reputation and future reproductive opportunities.

Therefore, contrary to what some people think, cold approaches that escalate to the point of proposition (of a date), are exceptionally rare.

It's not a natural thing for men to do. On the contrary, it's a horrifying thing for men to do.

Having said that, the way to increase the chance of men asking you out is very straightforward:

Give very strong signals that rejection from you is unlikely. And if it still doesn't work, continue to Increase those signals, but not to the point of looking like a hoe.

That means somewhat prolonged or multiple glances. That means smiling. That means positioning yourself in a way that makes it easier for him (show that you're clearly not with another man at said location, get yourself away from groups of people, etc).

aslanhatessmeagol · 2023-11-19T09:25:37+00:00

You need to find people who have the same interests as you. If one doesnt works,try others.

Maybe you need to mingle with people more.As an introvert, I enjoy seeing or talking to talkative people. It exhausts me and in the end, I need to recharge but it does not mean I hate it.

Too reserved can look intimidating or not friendly to some people.

Emerald_Pancakes · 2023-11-18T23:02:02+00:00

Confidence.

Showing an interest in yourself and those things that interest and/or drive you.

It presents to others who you are and shows a strong core.

Those are incredibly powerful foundations and will draw the attention of men (though the real trick is understanding and recognizing how one shows their attraction).

GentlemanCatFarmer · 2023-11-21T22:35:06+00:00

Many guys just aren't willing to take the risk of "cold approaches" in the west because of the #metoo culture that would publicly call them out as "creeps" if you're not interested (instead of just moving on), in many cases we risk getting recorded and put on TikTok and shamed if we even glance your way.
As a result, most of the guys actively doing cold approaches aren't LTR material and are looking to gather numbers and notches. They might seem "confident" and tickle that itch but they're not interested in a relationship.

The hobby thing is probably a fine idea, but seems like a big gamble if you're not doing it just to do the hobby, seems like a small pond and you may not have a lot of candidates. Then what, find a different hobby until you get what you really want? If I were looking for an LTR and not a hookup I'd probably just use one of the apps that are geared toward LTRs and not hookups. That way both parties are clear on what they're looking for and you're not trying to go about it in a roundabout way.

ManateesAreHomies · 2023-11-21T21:22:27+00:00

This was literally my exact experience at your age. As I’m sure you’ve experienced, most young guys aren’t interested if you don’t want to hook up or post revealing things on insta. That being said, from the sounds of it you ALSO don’t want a guy who is interested in that kind of thing (which is understandable- I didn’t either). It sucks to say this, but the only thing that will help you find your SO is patience. I tried the activities, I tried dating apps, and it wasn’t until I was 24 that I finally got my first real boyfriend. However, I can confidently say the wait was worth it. I view it as God putting the right guy in my life at the right time. As you said you are religious, I would suggest that you just keep doing what you’re doing, and wait for whatever higher power you believe in to move in your life.

Nice-Hair-826 · 2024-02-24T01:10:10+00:00

In my observation. Men date in the sense of casting nets to catch many fish and filter , while women go for the best ones and focus their time. And because of that men spread their net and and limit on time as we all are. They go after easier woman. The dumber(not meant for insult) and easy going looking girls, probably gets the most attention. More professional looking girl, which exudes masculinity, tends to receive less direct approaches.

TheCultOfGrogg · 2023-11-19T23:19:10+00:00

You could ask a guy out or show interest in him. 9 times out of 10 you will score.

DionyBigu · 2024-05-24T20:06:36+00:00

Arranged marriage is still part of our culture

Where are you from?

AutoModerator · 2023-11-18T17:22:33+00:00

Title: How to increase my chances of getting asked out by a man?

Author SilverKnightLife

Full text: I (21f) genuinely want to know what could make a man want to pursue me/ ask me out on a date. The most I got from a man as a sign of interest are glances, maybe receive a compliment about my looks or even get catcalled by some randos once every few weeks.

I come from a somewhat religious background. So casual hookups are completely out of the question. People are more or less secretive when it comes to dating.

That being said, a lot of my friends are in relationships or "situationships". Even the single ones complain about having to reject guys that are, in my opinion, pretty decent. But simply because they have plenty of options, they can pick and choose without being worried they might never find another guy.

Some people might suggest I should try a hobby. Last year, I joined this social club where I met a lot of new people. I also went to a lot of events where I knew I would meet up with people around my age. I made a few friends none of which were "potential suitors".

I stopped going out as much nowadays because I had to focus on studying and getting the most out of my graduation year.

This isn't a self-pitty post btw. I allowed myself enough time to feel sorry for myself. I'm just trying to figure out exactly why I'm getting zero attention despite being young and in my "prime" years.

I take good care of myself. I'm not overweight, the clothes I wear are flattering enough, I take care of my hygiene, hair, I wear makeup that enhances my features, but isn't dramatic.

I would say I'm an overall kind person, helpful within the limits of my capabilities. I'm a bit of an introvert, pretty outgoing in the right circumstances, but I prefer sticking to my circle of friends. I don't try to befriend every guy I know, but I'm friendly and I try not to come across as "stuck up" as best as I can.

Women like me are told that we're only single because we tend to ignore guys in our dms. Most of my dms were pretty dry. I tried to get to know a few people online, some turned out to be amazing friends, a lot of them just wanted nudes.

I never found myself in a situation where I had to "friendzone" someone. All of my male friends never acted in a "trying to get in my pants" sort of way. Our conversations are always strictly platonic without me having to assert any boundaries. Unfortunately, I initiate 90% of those conversations. Safe to say that none of my male friends want to date me.

Even if I had to reject guys, which rarely happens. I'm entitled to my preferences, which aren't unattainable btw. I just had to make a few things clear before getting attacked by redpill dudes.

Arranged marriage is still part of our culture, so I could always skip the headache of dating. But I can't be 100% sure that the person I'll be getting married to is compatible or if they will treat me the way I deserve. Also there's no room for romantic feelings if I didn't willingly chose that person after falling in love with them.

Sorry for the long rant. I just want to know what can I do to not end up as a lonely old cat lady or worse, having end up getting married to a terrible person.

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LivelyLychee · 2023-11-19T19:07:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SilverKnightLife · 2023-12-03T16:38:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	How to increase my chances of getting asked out by a man?
Author	SilverKnightLife
Upvotes	32
Comments	34
Date	November 18, 2023 5:22 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/17yb8dx/how_to_increase_my_chances_of_getting_asked_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-increase-my-chances-of-getting-asked-out-by.1238757 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238757

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