I'm four months out of the house. I've posted before and will try and not repeat those details here.

My story is probably different from most, but I've gotten good ideas and insight by reading some of the posts here. I moved out for reasons that made sense in my situation--yours may be different. For me that was an excellent idea as it got me the fuck out of the house and I didn't want the house. Wife stressed me the fuck out with drama, constant complaining, and the like. I did simp quite a bit while married and I've stopped doing that. We have met for dinner a few times to discuss finances, our kids, and the like. I want to be amicable for as long as possible as I think it'll be in my best interest financially and for the kids going forward. We do not discuss our relationship and I have made it clear I'm not moving back in.

I've gone my version of greyrock. I respond to her when I feel like it---not immediately. When we've met to get things from the house, it's been at a mutually agreed upon time. I helped her with one task in the basement, but not immediately as she requested. She's tried to guilt me and I've ignored it every time. It gets easier. In fact, she's done it less. But that really doesn't matter to me.

My mental state is much better. My blood pressure is measurably lower. I'm walking more. I still have the weight I put on, but I'm feeling better. I'm getting the rental property I'm living in situated to where I like it as I've not really decided where I'll be living after things have finalized. I'm going to give myself time to figure that out. I've even bought a few pieces of furniture that I wanted (I got some handmedowns from a relative). It was great to purchase something like that without having to do the usual giving in for what she wanted. I got what I wanted.

Telling her I was moving out was hard and I put it off for far too long. We've not finalized yet, but have an agreement in the works. I wish I had done this sooner, but what's done is done. In some ways she distanced me from my siblings and I'm working on healing those relationships as well.

I've been in regular (but not constant) contact with my attorney. I sought out legal advice before I ever moved out (which I advise as it calmed my fear about some things). I also had a house rented before I moved out as well. My situation is different because my kids are grown and while I don't have the 6 figure incomes that some on here do, even in the worst-case scenario financially, I'll be able to manage just fine if I watch my money.

Years ago, I dreamed of just up and moving out without any planning at all. I'm glad I planned before I moved out. I think it made it easier. But situations are different.