It'll be 2 years in January since she left, divorce finalized July 2022, been on one date since and basically have lost hope of finding someone else or ever having a relationship again

Classic_Dill · 2023-12-23T20:50:38+00:00

Look, I’m gonna tell you a secret, there’s somebody for everybody, there might be thousands of people for one person maybe millions? The problem is that you’re discovering it is difficult to find the absolute right compatibility with a partner that will lead to a LTR, a lot of us like myself go through a period where we definitely date people that we shouldn’t be, just because we’re bored, and we want something to do, that’s my New Year’s resolution, I’m not going on any more dates with people that I shouldn’t be on a date with, I’m not being to get testicle, but I know when I’m compatible with somebody or not, if I don’t feel that energy Radiating off them or a vibe? Then I’m humbly going to say no to a date. Been divorced myself almost 2 years and of all the dates I have had those two years could be around 25 dates I only felt the vibe and energy with one single woman, and unfortunately after six months, and catching her in a bunch of little white lies, and her inability to understand what the definition of monogamy is, I had to leave, I would say her and I had about a 97% compatibility but those two pieces for something I couldn’t deal with and had to leave. You’ll find somebody, but don’t make it a full-time job, let it happen, organically, go to the grocery store a little bit more get out in public a little bit more, keep your eye out for people maybe giving you the eyes, and relax, if you enjoy being with yourself? Then you always have a fantastic be plan if a relationship doesn’t work out.

Acceptable_Piano4809 · 2023-12-21T09:25:03+00:00

I am just like you OP, first real love, married her at 35 (after 5 years dating, chose not to fall in love on purpose until I found what I really wanted, so the divorce was my first breakup, married 6.5 years)… it’s horrible and I’m still getting over it after a year, still haven’t dated anyone (Ive had a few short term GFs in HS and in my 20s, but never any I would say I totally fell in love with and the breakup never devastated me like divorce… I too have wondered will I ever find anyone again? I’m about to turn 43 and may have missed out on having a kid… it’s truly traumatic and devastating, but I’m learning to fall in love with myself… I met her when I least expected it and was truly happy being single, and I think once I get back there, it will prob happen that way again, or at least I hope so… not really putting myself out there and I’m a contractor so don’t meet too many women at work… I also don’t drink so going to the bars is out of the question… My STBX wife was a bartender, go figure, but it worked out well for us as I own my own business and didn’t drink so I was never at the bar getting drunk and that’s what she liked about me… I hope one day I will meet her when I least expect it, but if not, I’m prepared to be happy w my life regardless

Embarrassed-Safe-670 · 2023-12-20T16:51:01+00:00

Be careful what you look for. You may find it !

AltEgo25 · 2023-12-20T14:35:33+00:00

I'm still married and not currently on path for divorce but we've had a good share of issues. After my experiences with dating, girlfriends, and then finally marriage... I will say I am 100% I'd be a single man for a long long time if we ever broke this thing up.

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2023-12-20T11:31:25+00:00

I can empathise the first break up being a divorce. It’s devastating but you will feel stronger. It just takes time and the realisation you must be a great guy because your only relationship turned into a marriage. That takes a lot of people a hell of a lot of work sometimes. Hopefully the marriage even though it ended showed you areas you can work on and things you wouldn’t want in another partner. Hope your doing ok. Keep moving forward you will get there.

Is0prene · 2023-12-20T06:25:27+00:00

Work on yourself. If you don't love yourself you cannot love another. People can sense this and that is why confidence is such a highly attractive quality.

Find passions, not just hobbies. Hiking and fishing are big ones for me. I changed all my online dating profile pics to ones of me in the middle of my hobbies and like night and day the likes started flooding in.

I found a non-entitled woman 1000 times more selfless than my ex was and we are just enjoying life.

One idea is going to dance classes. Women love that stuff. Great place to meet people and gets you out of your comfort zone. Go out with co-workers and just have fun.

sak144 · 2023-12-20T03:24:19+00:00

Are you working on yourself? You need to feel good about yourself as a man and get some swagger into your life.

Are you working out? Are you doing the little things everyday that will make you proud of yourself, like maintaining a clean and orderly place to live and kicking butt in your career?

Focus on that stuff first and the women will come. You can't rely on any other person to bring happiness to your life. It has to be internal. Many of us learned that the hard way.

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