How do I react to my girlfriend (LTR 8 years) ruining our night?

redhawkes · 2018-02-17T09:49:03+00:00

Learn about frame, she weaponizes sex and knows really well that you don't have other options, hence her behavior.

Don't reward bad behavior. Don't talk about sex, escalate.You should know that women live in the NOW, also the Briffault's law applies. In this case, she already knew how to use this against you and you got butthurt so it tells her that she has control over you.

Soft next, and read the 12 levels of dread.

DayGameChirality · 2018-02-17T09:52:08+00:00

Dude I don't think the fact that you've been putting up with her silent treatments for years having no real response for them and letting her have control of the relationship through these treatments says good of your LTR game. Silent treatment is a form of drama and you're sucking it up like a beta. You shouldn't tolerate that

Are you living with her?

walawalawa · 2018-02-17T12:10:33+00:00

Here's the issue. She has control via sex. You lose frame by making it clear you've gagging for it like a thirsty coyote.

And it's been 8 years...and you have no other options and she knows this.

The only thing that works is Dread. I've learned time and time again the hard way losing my shit achieves nothing. Girls love this. This for them is like the best orgasm ever---a guy blows up in response to their shitty behavior: Winning for a girl.

0x9A30D7C49714D98000 · 2018-02-17T10:40:51+00:00

We get home. She goes to the bedroom, I head to the living room and thats it. No sex.

Why don't you try heading to the bedroom instead and if/when she complains, laugh and tell her it's her turn. Fuck sleeping on the sofa, if she's the one who wants to fight then let her enjoy that experience.

dreadfrog · 2018-02-17T15:25:03+00:00

Yesterday I simply wanted to fuck the living shit out of my girlfriend. I couldn‘t fuck her in the morning, because one of her friends slept over.

First paragraph and we have a problem already! I'm sure you could have screwed her quietly.

Besides, the phrase "I couldn‘t fuck her in the morning, because one of her friends slept over." is complete failure of frame. Her friend doesn't get to decide whether you fuck her or not. In fact, fucking her while her friend is there (or even better, while her mom is in the next room) really lets her know who's THE MAN here.

Remember when you were a teenager, and you went to visit your girlfriend in her parents' house, and her parents greet you with that priceless "I know you're gonna fuck my little princess while I pretend not to hear anything" look? It made me so damn proud.

Also, it is exciting, the fear of getting caught and all that! Well, you don't give a shit about that (frame, again) but she does, and that's when it gets really funny to look at her trying not to scream while you (helpfully, always like a gentleman) make sure she does scream. Words of love come to mind, like "Bite the pillow slut! I'm not stopping!"

I got my dick sucked by a prim and proper catholic girl while her soyboy of a boyfriend was in the next room. (I only learned later that he was her boyfriend, btw). True love waits, I guess! LOL

And on top of that you let her turn you on in the shower, and then she leaves you blue balled? Fuck.

This set the mood for the day, the rest only went downhill from there... you should've plowed her at dawn.

yunhaila · 2018-02-17T16:13:03+00:00

My homie has been dating this girl for 7 years. She uses the silent treatment A LOT in the beginning. It got to a point where my homie told me he couldn't take this anymore. He told her this isn't a mature way to deal with anger and told her this is the reason he is breaking up with her.

She packs her shit up and leaves. Within 24 hours shes made contact, apologized, promised to change. In the past 6 months since this happened, she has been on tip top behavior.

Some girls need a soft next. Some need a hard next. Some just need to be spoken to. Its best to follow the three strike routine. First strike, explain to her that her behavior is not okay. Second strike, repeat, soft next. Third strike, hard next.

Soderbergh · 2018-02-17T14:47:44+00:00

There are some women who are just like this. And others who won't do this as often, or with the same amount of severity. I try to look for girls who are like the latter...the ones who find ways to be happy, instead of being mad. They are rare in my experience.

Why deal with someone who spends so much time being mad at you? I've been there. It doesn't just ruin your day, it ruins your quality of life. When you find someone different, someone striving to keep you happy, it's like a breath of fresh air.

ShinyRedKetoPill · 2018-02-17T12:20:36+00:00

This LTR cannot be salvaged.

I would explore new options (plural) and take one lesson home from this: never co-habitate.

To recite from our bible: once you live together at the same address, the moment you sign that lease, you take a lot of dread off the table.

She has nothing to worry about. No incentive to keep up her game to make you happy. There’s a whole chapter on this in Rollo’s book and it perfectly matches my experiences.

PieceBringer · 2018-02-17T12:58:58+00:00

Why do you you think its your fault when you both lost the train?

wheresMYsteakAt · 2018-02-17T16:22:53+00:00

Shes not stupid, she got you to go with her to visit her mom after she got off work.... On a Friday evening, stayed long enough where you guys missed the train then made you think it was something you did. She doesn't want to fuck you any more. Her friend slept over..... I'm afraid to ask this, what sex is the friend?

Pluglord · 2018-02-17T09:38:34+00:00

Dread.

beginner_ · 2018-02-17T17:33:07+00:00

LTR = Red Pill on hardmode.

I disagree that she weaponizes sex at least from the info we got. This is just how women are. She was into it in the morning becasue it provided validation. After the validation was rec ivied she has no further need to actual go through with the plan especially because since then hours have passed and more important 100s of emotions. What she said or how she behaved in the morning has 0 relevance in the evening. Briffaults law.

What can you do better?

If you are horny go for it then. Any "planning" to do it later will often enough fail. So don't do it. Push for it now and if she denies you, withdraw attention.

Anyways, usually I try to talk to her after such an incident. I enjoy peace so I don‘t want to live with a person who is mad at me or mad at anything really. I simply like my issues resolved.

Simply don't do this. Pussy move. As said above you withdraw attention until she apologizes. And if she doesn't, well you know what to do then. Problem is if you acted like a pussy the last 8 years, it will get hard to change the relationship now. Maybe she doesn't even care you ignore her.

DavidAlanQueer · 2018-02-17T21:08:46+00:00

You are what we call, outcome dependent.

She didn't ruin your night. Your expectations did.

Next time, squirt in a cantaloupe or some shit.

devilkingx2 · 2018-02-18T08:49:35+00:00

she sounds like my high school girlfriend, I learned a valuable lesson from dealing with her that when your gf is mad at you, you're single until she's not.

nowadays when a girl is mad at me (assuming that she's mad over nonsense, if I legit did something wrong then you just apologize) I go ghost on her and hit up other girls until she's done with her BS, and if she takes longer to get done with her BS than it takes for me to find a new girlfriend, she's SOL.

and I'd probably tell her to go away next time she wanted anything from me after denying me sex, that shouldn't be something your girl does lightly unless she wants a totally disillusioned boyfriend

RylanBlackwood · 2018-02-17T12:24:30+00:00

I would have still fucked the shit out of her even if I had to be a bit forceful. My ex admitted to me so many times when I was in this situation that part her just wanted me to be more forceful and fuck her. I'd only stop if she properly fucking started shouting and hitting me. But that never fucking happens they always stay fairly still, submissive and quiet because they want to be fucked. Resistance is just a shit test.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-02-17T11:54:36+00:00

we stop by her moms place. Spend some time there and then leave.

This was a dumb idea. Never introduce variables, like moms whining about how you should stay longer. Shoulda gone right home for the bang.

That said, she's being childish about the train thing. If this is a recurring problem, it will require Dread.

salezman12 · 2018-02-17T17:58:30+00:00

Im just sittin here trying to figure out how you could possibly be excited to fuck someone that you've been fucking for 8 years. I was married for 4 years, and with the girl for 3 before that, and by the time we were divorced, I'd rather jerk off with a piece of sand paper than have sex with the same pussy I'd be fuckin for a quarter of my life. Literally the worst experience of my life.

All of that being said, this isn't about me, its about you. And what you need to do is get your control back. She knows she has you by the balls. Dread. VERY heavy dread.

Title	How do I react to my girlfriend (LTR 8 years) ruining our night?
Author	BjoernsBlock
Upvotes	29
Comments	49
Date	February 17, 2018 9:30 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7y5r1d/how_do_i_react_to_my_girlfriend_ltr_8_years/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-react-to-my-girlfriend-ltr-8-years.124139 https://theredarchive.com/post/124139

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