I think the whole concept of marriage is similar to asking an 18 year old to pick a college major when they haven’t even had any real life experience yet. When I first met my wife I was completely obsessed with her. I thought she was the most incredible person I ever met. Now I just wish I could be alone.

There’s a lot of things going on outside of our relationship that’s making things more stressful. I know I have my own personal issues that I don’t like talking about. Having a kid made me realize specific things about my parents that definitely had a negative impact on me as an adult. My bloodline is not great. Lots of failed marriages and mental health issues.

My wife is at a point now where she has expressed she doesn’t want to keep living like this. She feels neglected and I don’t treat her like a wife. We never have sex. ever. I can’t speak for her on this issue but I know as I get older I’m becoming more insecure about my looks and my confidence is dead. But I also don’t think we ever had a good sex life. I was always attracted to her and still am, so idk exactly why it’s like this.

I just feel exhausted all the time. My entire life revolves around her work schedule. Because of her schedule and taking care of our child, I lost so many hours of work this year. My hourly pay is the highest it’s ever been, but because of all the time I’ve had to take off, my income this year was as low as when I got my first job over 10 years ago.

I’m not cheating, I’m not even interested in being single or trying to meet someone new, I just want to be left alone. I know it’s stress related and I know I struggle with depression. I also know I sound like a little bitch. I’m just trying to figure this out.

Thinking about not being able to see my kid everyday destroys me. Even though it’s constant work and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I need to be around him. I love him so fucking much.

Also because of how little of an income I’ve had, there’s no “start over” money. I’d have to move into a shitty apartment that I’d probably be struggling to afford until I figured something else out.

I just don’t know what to do. Things keep getting worse and I keep trying to convince myself and convince her that I’ll be better but it doesn’t happen. If we were to split, I’d have nothing and no idea where to go.