My wife just officially told me we're getting a divorce. It hurts, but I've seen this coming for some time.

We got pregnant, an accident, shortly after we were married. Oh well we were excited. Shortly before the end of the first trimester her mother passes away. A loss I couldn't comprehend no matter how hard I try. To lose ones mother at that age is heartbreaking. I did the best I could with what I knew. Everything was going as well as it could given all the circumstances. The kiddo was born, and was healthy. The first few months, like most newborns, was a lot of sleepless nights and just going through the motions.

Then she felt good enough to go to therapy and grief counseling. Kiddo was around 6 months old, and the brunt of all responsibility was put onto me. It was fine at first but after a few months I was struggling, and hard. Taking care of a baby like that was tough to say the least. She would lay in bed most days and not help too much with the kiddo. I broke and we argued over and over on how she should help. She would retaliate with that she was working on herself and I should just suck it up and "be a man". This stung, but I continued to the beat of the drum. Kiddo turns one and the wife starts helping more because she felt I was pressuring her into it.

This starts the resentment.

Things continue how they had been. Daddy duty all the time while mom doom-scrolled for hours a day. Finally, at my breaking point, I tell her we need couples counseling. We go, she was reluctant. I thought we were making progress, but towards the "end" (the end of the counseling she saw fit) she let me know she hated the counselor and saw it as a waste of time. Well shit. If I had known that I would've suggested a different counselor. Just to see if that was the issue.

A few months pass and I bring up going again with someone new. She said no, its a waste of time. I suggest individual counseling on our own. She says no again.

Here I am. Still doing the brunt of the parent work. I was/am fed up. I started telling her I wanted a partner, a wife, and our kiddo needs a mom. Apparently this was the point of no return, and I had no clue. She recently started getting mad and saying she hates me sometimes. This stung. I know I have my issues, but hate? That's a bit strong.

The day she told me she wanted a divorce she told me I want to make her kill herself sometimes. That when I say I want a partner, a wife, and our son deserves a mom it is kicking her while she is down and rubbing salt in her already open wounds.

She makes me out to be evil, and told me she thinks I am. I will never understand what she is going through, but she was not, and is not, getting help for her issues.

Maybe I am evil. Maybe I'm not.

I'm heartbroken to say the least. I still love this woman, but I am miserable. Maybe it is for the best.

In my eyes, in this situation, I am the asshole.

Thanks for reading my rant.