Do you think the average straight woman feels this way about guys?

HappySpinningSeal · 2024-02-15T01:26:07+00:00

I'm approving this post even though you made one earlier today as it is a very different topic. Please keep in mind we recommend taking time to digest the Reddit's resources and comments before making new posts.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2024-02-16T04:07:59+00:00

You are 29 and you “find intimacy kind of cringe”.

It sounds like you’re a combination of chronically online, emotionally immature, and unrealistic in terms of what you expect from men (or people in general).

Your man should be someone you like to spend time with just as much as they are someone who meets the checklist of positive traits.

You are clearly the problem. Maybe therapy will help.

Cosima_Fan_Tutte · 2024-02-15T23:45:47+00:00

This isn't "normal" for most women, but I think what you describe is not at all uncommon for a certain type of woman.

Common traits are shyness, social anxiety, social awkwardness, being on the spectrum, no friends, weird family life, childhood or adolescent trauma, bookishness, excessive intellectualism, mental illness, low SMV, lack of interest in typical female hobbies (fashion, makeup, all things girly, etc ).

These are the things you may need to dig into.

Business_babe_2 · 2024-02-15T09:54:26+00:00

Do you think the average straight woman feels this way about guys?

Indifferent to sex? I would say no. Personally I can’t relate to that.

will the right guy just make me jump on the same bandwagon?

I don’t know. You could be demisexual, meaning you can only feel sexually attracted to someone you have a connection with. You could also never be interested in sex no matter the person.

There is only one way to find out, which is to put yourself out there and experience it.

Oh btw I saw your other post about being attractive and not getting any attention. As some commenters said over there it could be a personality thing. I feel like in this post you come across a bit condescending about people who feel different and make other choices than you.

You might want to make sure that energy doesn’t come out too often in real life, since it is not a very nice quality.

Agreeable-Comedian24 · 2024-02-15T13:13:14+00:00

As an average straight woman I would say no, your experience is not how a lot of people feel. Which is totally okay. You should do some research on your own and even talk to a therapist to help you make sense of how you feel. There are other people like you and understanding that may help you feel better.

ArkNemesis00 · 2024-02-15T22:00:23+00:00

I had similar feelings and experiences as you before I met my husband, and yes, I'm wild about him and feel he awakened my sensual side. So, it's possible this could happen to you as well. Now I relate to the straight women experience completely, whereas before I wondered if I was asexual.

I did meet my husband fairly young though. I encourage you to introduce yourself if you see an attractive man you want to get to know. I was super shy but something in me pushed me to go and talk to the man I eventually married. It was a big defining moment for my life, and would be even if things hadn't worked out.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-02-15T23:32:25+00:00

felt like girls were overreacting talking about boys & being hyped about sex

I felt that way as a teen. Turns out I had been depressed since before puberty and my libido was suppressed because of it. Instead of the decrease in libido many experience with antidepressant medication, the relief from depression caused me to suddenly understand why everyone around me had been "boy crazy." You're going to get a lot of suggestions to look into your hormones and thyroid to make sure the issue isn't physical, but could there be a mental health aspect here?

Tried masturbating & didn’t enjoy it

If you experience a full orgasm, you can't not enjoy it, because by definition an orgasm is all the "enjoying it" hormones released in full force. However, I've heard people say this when they accidentally ruined their orgasm (easy to do when you're just learning how that bodily response works), meaning they had intensity build and then lost without sensation, or when they were unable to achieve orgasm via their masturbation method. I'm not sure if learning how to masturbate is a path you want to go down or not (separate from physically enjoying the sensation many find it unfulfilling but simultaneously addicting), but either way I wouldn't use it to gauge your ability to engage sexually with an actual person.

Mighty_Wombat42 · 2024-02-17T06:06:56+00:00

There are a bunch of issues you’ve brought up here. I’ll try to address the main ones separately.

feeling like girls are overreacting talking about boys: I felt that way in high school, it changed when I got to college and met guys that were both physically attractive and intellectually in my league. I was the smart kid in high school and into alternative fashion, so part of my problem was that I believed I had to dumb myself down and have an entirely different personality in order to get a relationship. It wasn’t that I didn’t want a boyfriend, I just didn’t want to do the things I told myself were necessary to get one. Turns out those things weren’t necessary and I was creating unnecessary obstacles for myself.
feeling like girls/women are overhyping sex: this could be about receptive desire, or teens bragging or saying what they think will make them sound cool and popular, or teen girls trying to convince themselves it was worth it to have sex. Also, some people don’t experience a desire for sex in general until they find someone they want to do it with.
you not enjoying sex: well if you weren’t attracted to the men you slept with, that makes sense. Even masturbating can take some time to get comfortable with your body and figure out what you like. Is it possible there’s a medical issue? Depression? Trauma? Intimacy issues? Shame around sex or your body due to your upbringing?
Finally, you say you’re not gay but are you sure you’re not bisexual? Why would you be willing to make out with another woman but not date one? I understand if it’s for cultural reasons or your family/community not accepting it and I am not telling you that you should date women. I’m just saying the only women I know who would make out with another woman are 1) doing it to get a guy’s attention or turn a guy on, and 2) lesbian, bisexual, or bi-curious. When you say you “check out women on the dl” do you mean in a comparing yourself to them way, or appraising their aesthetic appeal, or that you are sexually attracted to them? You could also be asexual if you like the idea of a life companion but don’t want sex with anyone. You don’t even need to put a label on it, I just think based on this and your other post it may be worth considering whether a straight relationship is something you want, or something you feel like you should want or have as a woman.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-15T00:25:38+00:00

Title: Do you think the average straight woman feels this way about guys?

Author Dsg1695

Full text:

I’m 29F & never been in a LTR. I’ve always had crushes on celebrity men, maybe even men passing by & I’ve always felt very innocent. In middle & hs, I always was told I was innocent & felt like girls were overreacting talking about boys & being hyped about sex or anything close enough to it. Always thought I was a late bloomer & I’d finally catch up but being pretty much 30 & still feeling indifferent makes me scratch my head. I’ve had sex & it was meh, maybe it was the person as I’ve only had it with one but even after a few times I think it’s possibly overrated. Tried masturbating & didn’t enjoy it, haven’t had sex in almost 6 years either. I know I’m not gay, I find women attractive (check them out on the dl all the time) but wouldn’t ever date one, at most a drunken make out with one. I find intimacy to an extent kind of cringe at times, those couples that are heavy on pda/touchy/clingy make me want to roll my eyes at times & I feel irritated when people talk about their hatred of being or doing things alone/jumping from one relationship to another. I honestly don’t think it’s jealousy (at least don’t think so), it’s more not getting how they hate their own company that much. Will the right guy just make me jump on the same bandwagon as every other straight woman?

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aussiedollface2 · 2024-02-16T07:05:30+00:00

Maybe you’re asexual? Perhaps go chat to your GP/Family Physician about what you’re experiencing and make sure there’s nothing else causing this.

Ninjurk · 2024-02-18T00:49:55+00:00

Keep discovering yourself and stay away from dating, maybe you just aren't really into relationships and family building, which is fine. You don't need to be in one, just live your life without it.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-21T00:00:30+00:00

Title: Do you think the average straight woman feels this way about guys?

Author Dsg1695

Full text:

I’m 29F & never been in a LTR. I’ve always had crushes on celebrity men, maybe even men passing by & I’ve always felt very innocent. In middle & hs, I always was told I was innocent & felt like girls were overreacting talking about boys & being hyped about sex or anything close enough to it. Always thought I was a late bloomer & I’d finally catch up but being pretty much 30 & still feeling indifferent makes me scratch my head. I’ve had sex & it was meh, maybe it was the person as I’ve only had it with one but even after a few times I think it’s possibly overrated. Tried masturbating & didn’t enjoy it, haven’t had sex in almost 6 years either. I know I’m not gay, I find women attractive (check them out on the dl all the time) but wouldn’t ever date one, at most a drunken make out with one. I find intimacy to an extent kind of cringe at times, those couples that are heavy on pda/touchy/clingy make me want to roll my eyes at times & I feel irritated when people talk about their hatred of being or doing things alone/jumping from one relationship to another. I honestly don’t think it’s jealousy (at least don’t think so), it’s more not getting how they hate their own company that much. Will the right guy just make me jump on the same bandwagon as every other straight woman? While intimacy makes me uncomfortable to a degree, I mean I don’t show a reaction when I see couples in person that are big on pda. I don’t act immature in that sense, but I feel like if a guy wants to make a move on me I’ll likely be taken back. Unless I really really like him, then maybe that’ll change how I react. I just sometimes see people on shows go on a 2nd date for example & they’re holding hands so soon, again maybe I get it if they’re really vibing but to be that comfortable right off the bat sometimes has me stumped. So maybe that’s deemed as “emotionally immature” but ugh don’t know I give up

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Title	Do you think the average straight woman feels this way about guys?
Author	Dsg1695
Upvotes	6
Comments	17
Date	February 15, 2024 12:25 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1ar2fic/do_you_think_the_average_straight_woman_feels/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/do-you-think-the-average-straight-woman-feels-this.1245438 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245438

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