So I don't know what, but something clicked for me in the last 2 months and it's not really a problem anymore to get girls interested. Maybe because I don't try as hard as I did, but I just more or less had my first time. She was here, we made out, I got deep inside her and she came but I just couldn't get him hard so we just cuddled. Maybe I was nervous or I should have a healthier lifestyle again and I will change that, but it was still a nice experience. She was totally cool with the situation and I'm pretty sure she sensed that I was more or less new. I was worrying way too much about the whole thing and we all shouldn't stress so much. Even though I didn't make it, I know I will next time and I'm just glad that at least she had a good time. My problem was never the attraction itself, but my self-esteem and as that got better over time, things got a lot easier than I thought. With that came the charm and attraction and now I just have to work on myself.