Those who are in a friendzone situation will often remain in someone’s orbit for the sake of “friendship”, or sparing the feelings of the person who rejected them, because they feel it is the right thing to do. They often blame themselves for the situation, since they are the one with the feelings, they incorrectly believe they are at fault for changing the dynamic of the friendship.

However, there are often two dynamics at play here. If someone wishes for more than friendship, yet pretends they are willing to accept platonic friendship, they are being deceitful—their intent doesn’t matter. They share the blame if they are in this dynamic, because it wouldn’t exist in the first place if they were honest and upfront with intent. This is why it always is best to cut ties or distance yourself from someone if you wish to be more than friends, yet the other person doesn’t feel the same. It almost never ends well.

However, the person who actually rejects the other, yet claims they wish to maintain friendship is often being deceitful as well. While they claim they want “friendship”, there are often two potential motivations.

First, they really do not want to maintain any type of friendship, and are just simply saying this to spare the feelings of the other person, with no intention of maintaining any type of friendship or relationship. It is to soften the rejection, and to protect themselves. Men don’t handle rejection well. By saying they want friendship, they give the guy false hope that something may happen, when they really hope he will get the hint and fade from her life.

The second scenario is that she claims
wants a friendship, but really wants an additional source of attention and validation, without any type of consideration for the other person’s feelings. She may continue to flirt, or give other indications that give false hope.

This isn’t true friendship. This is using another person for an emotional prop. If you ever find yourself in this situation, be aware of the other person’s true intentions. Be upfront with your intentions, and only around yourself to be surrounded by others who value your feelings.