Guys. Old time lurker here. I am reading and implementing a lot of stuff from the sidebar and other resources. Trying to get more social, get more female friends, learn to act around girls, become seductive, confident and get in touch with my inner self (with inner game).

To be honest, I have achieved most of these goals within a realistic frame. I learned to dance pretty well, I go to parties, I have several female friends, contacts with friends of friends, etc. Many girls enjoy being around me, even begging me to dance with them or to go out with them. I have girls text me first, go on awesome friendly dates where they can last up to 4-5 hours. I have no problem teasing and negging girls, making them laugh, etc.

All this is good. Having social value, female friends, company, etc. is good. The problem is that I am utterly unable to land a noteworthy sexual interaction with any girl I meet. Girls either reject my sexual advances, or, when I don't become sexual right away, they have already friendzoned me.

Those girls that I perceive to be more shy and who (I presume) need more time to become comfortable with somebody, I try to be fun and friendly, build comfort and rapport, but I end up in the friendzone no matter what, because when I decide to make a move it is already too late because they have already decided I am "just a friend". So turning it sexual is a big shocker for them. The other part of girls who are less shy, are more expressive and give more IOIs, I make a move pretty quickly, but again, they turn me down with various excuses.

Whatsmore is that ALL of these girls absolutely love being my friends. I mean, for example, even after I failed a kiss-close with a girl last week (who had given me a TON of IOIs), I expected her to become cold and distant (or otherwise creeped out), but instead she kept texting me afterwards asking me how I was, or telling me about herself. Upon further discussion, she agreed that she probably gave me wrong signals, she does not think of me in any sexual way, but she really wants things to be friendly between us because she values my friendship.

And this hasn't happened only once. It is just the most recent example. Right now, I have at least 5 girls on my phone with whom I am comfortable setting up a 1-on-1 date with no problem (and they'll show up), but if I turn the discussion sexual, they make sure I get the message and stop the specific topic right there (e.g. suddenly become very closed and shy, avoid answering, or explicitly stating that they have "already decided that I am just a friend"). 3 of these girls I have already tried kissing.

I always end up wondering if these girls initially liked me and then I did something that turned them off, for the amount of initial IOIs was really staggering. Or maybe if they have already decided from the moment they met me that I am not a potential mate, but instead they kept being (overly) friendly. Either case, it boggles me to wonder why they would keep friendly contact with me and not be just creeped out. it becomes frustrating and I am trying to deal with the negative emotions that rise up with every rejection. Something is still very wrong with my mentality. All this has developed into inferiority complex and negative self image, becoming obsessed with really stupid things (e.g. eye color, height, or even non-visible stuff). Am I really good as a friend but not good enough to be a boyfriend? Shit.

My (naive) take on the matter is that maybe there are 2 wrong things: The first one is the sub-communication, i.e. the body language. I may be negging, teasing, talking, laughing, getting physical etc. But I don't try to force my body language in any way. This may lead to ending up having negative postures or negative face expressions (e.g. smilling excessively [source] [source] ).

The other aspect is the failure of establishing a deeper connection. I mean, as I grow older, I find that I tend to make more superficial relationships with people. Apart from a circle of male friends who I bonded well in the past and just keep seeing each other, most new relationships, including girls, feel less deep. I mean, even the fact that I talk with 5 girls at the same time, makes none of these girls more important than the other. It means that if I don't see one of them this weekend, or even over the next month, it's not a big deal. The same goes for them of course. This opens a big discussion regarding modern relationships and how interactions between people tends to be more superficial nowadays. It makes it feel like you interact with another person only if you have something to gain off them. On one hand, yes, I do talk to girls I'd like to fuck, but on the other hand, the girl wouldn't really fuck someone who they don't feel special with (unless they are into fucking around, which most girls I know aren't).

So what do you think? What can I do in this situation? How should I be dealing with it? I hate being around girls that I like while knowing that they "don't see me that way"! How should I deal with existing female friends? How should I deal new interactions from now on?