Girlfriend says I’m clingy

iwasblocked · 2018-11-07T18:37:57+00:00

Depression + raised by a single mom are a good recipe for dependency issues. Don’t worry though. Just watch some Alan Watts videos, meditate, study abundance mindsets. You’ll be fine.

Graciee_pearl · 2018-11-07T19:21:01+00:00

A great way to combat clinginess in relationships is making sure you have a good group of friends you can go to when you feel lonely/sad, so you're not putting too much pressure on your gf. Using family as support can also work wonders, maybe doing stuff with your mother when you're feeling lonely can help take some of that pressure off your girl as well.

Also, try to think if there's something bothering you about the relationship, maybe communication or trust issues. If there is, have a heart to heart with your girl for closure. I have BPD and before I was out of the closet, I was an extremely clingy girlfriend because there was always something upsetting me about the relationship and I wasn't sure how to bring it up. Best way to do it is just be straightforward :)

Of course, I understand how difficult some of these things can be when you are struggling with depression. Take things one step at a time, try not to stretch yourself too thin. Hobbies are also great to combat clinginess/loneliness if you have the energy for them :)

If all else fails, get a dog 🐕

sink_flower432 · 2018-11-08T04:44:21+00:00

Read No More Mr Nice Guy and definitely do all the exercises. They will challenge you, but they will change you for the better. It talks a lot about neediness/clinginess/guys that grew up without dads or with dysfunctional dads and were raised by their mums or other women. That book won't turn you into a jerk, don't worry, it's really about getting rid of wimpy, clingy, dependent behaviours and becoming independent, confident, non-needy, assertive and attractive. I did it a lot of the exercises myself, and my anxiety has reduced a lot around women and people in general, and I've become less approval seeking and more relaxed and I get what I want a lot more now. I can see it really working in your situation. However, you also seem to be overwhelemed at the moment and the book is a more longer term solution, it might not work in the next week. So perhaps for now get a therapist and work with them on your problems and emotions, and then also get that book and read through it.

K3wp · 2018-11-07T20:45:04+00:00

You sound like I used to be, a long time ago.

The best solution is an abundance mentality, I'll explain what that is and how to obtain it.

Forget about relationships. Lets talk about any other anxiety inducing phobia, like flying for example.

The anxiety is real but irrational. And there is really no cure other than to confront it, with the understanding that there is going to be less of it over time as you build abundance. Meaning, making connections with women.

It gets easier over time, so just jump back in and keep doing. I guarantee you that if you just try and hide from the world you are only going to make it worse.

NO3SCAPE · 2018-11-07T21:40:10+00:00

Focus on yourself and your goals and it will reduce your clinginess. Remember that happiness comes from within and not only from her.

Clinginess comes from needy people who desire the opinions and affections from other people. Its a habit that takes time to break. If your gf took the time to tell you that you are clingy and is still with you then you should feel good about that because she respects you enough not to lie to you.

Pick up some hobbies and focus focus focus. If she likes you she will give you attention anyway. Any forced attention feels weird anyway but unwarranted compliments feel epic.

BlackHeart357 · 2018-11-07T22:03:21+00:00

I'm in a similar situation, without the girlfriend (ever).

I did have a father figure in my life, but I do think I have serious dependency/attachment issues that will only be solved when I move out on my own.

So I think it's going to be a process. Don't freak out. Just calm down, relax, and realize that you can make positive changes for yourself, even if they're not all at once. Baby steps?

alphaonfire · 2018-11-07T22:34:12+00:00

Yup. You sound like you definitely have some anxiety going on lol.

Figuring out boundaries and relationships is hard. I assume you are young since you mention school. It gets easier.

Some suggestions that may help: Get a therapist. Work on clearing your head. I write to get things out and make sense of them. Some people workout. Others color. Find what works for you that’s healthy. Develop relationships outside of romantic relationships. Have friends. Don’t expect your GF to meet all your emotional needs. Get some hobbies. Great way to make new friends. Join clubs or groups at school. Do a meetup group. Use Facebook events to go hangout with people you normally wouldn’t on your friends list.

And when those panic attacks happen don’t forget to breath and do some nice calming self talk. I tell myself that “it’s going to be okay. It always is.”

Joan_Zeroz · 2018-11-08T06:49:18+00:00

Please get some professional help, therapy, not pua advice in a forum. please

Zeroz

dailymanup · 2018-11-09T19:22:33+00:00

Definitely have to up your sexual frame. This is the cure for being clingy with girls.

ChocolateGlamazon27 · 2018-11-07T19:01:07+00:00

What's your girls personality like?

Title	Girlfriend says I’m clingy
Author	MysticSpaceCroissant
Upvotes	6
Comments	33
Date	November 7, 2018 6:30 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9v1yp7/girlfriend_says_im_clingy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girlfriend-says-im-clingy.1290069 https://theredarchive.com/post/1290069

Comments