Once you've confessed your feelings and you are stuck in the friendzone - is there any way of coming back? How to establish kino now?

boss413 · 2016-01-20T23:06:02+00:00

The answer to virtually every "escaping the friendzone" post will be some variation on this: move on from this girl. You're not doing yourself any favors by pushing the issue. Meeting-to-seduction takes about 4 hours of uninterrupted time (yes, this is generally spread out over more than one interaction). If you're taking more time than that, it's because you're not escalating from Attraction to Comfort-building to Seduction at the right cadence.

You either need to work on your game in general, or you need to accept that seduction is a numbers game because people aren't attracted to every type of person, regardless of how great they might be. Not every guy is into full-figured women (e.g., Christina Hendricks). I think those men are insane, but that's reality. Similarly, if you present yourself as being cocky and funny, maybe she has a low tolerance for cockiness and prefers witty shy guys--that's her prerogative.

You probably didn't do just one thing that put you in the friendzone--in your case, you think confessing your feelings made you unattractive. I disagree with this premise. I believe one should be generally honest about one's feelings and intentions all the time, just don't scare people by coming on too strong.

I'm going to use the word "you" here, but this is more of a PSA to guys who think their issue was confessing their feelings, because you didn't really provide any details. Are you saying she was doing three out of the four of these:

flirting with you,
touching you,
giving you non-platonic compliments,
ignoring other guys for you,

and then you told her you're obsessed with her? I doubt it. More likely you were flirting with her, she was friendly, and then you said something like, "I think you're amazing and beautiful and I think we should go on a date." And she said "I don't feel that way about you".

That wasn't the fault of "confessing your feelings", that was the fault of not establishing Attraction before you moved on to Comfort-building. Is there a way out? Get out of her life for awhile, date other women, come back later. How to establish kino? Nope. Not right now. Now she's going to be in full "I don't want to lead you on" mode.

DaygameCoach · 2016-01-21T03:39:46+00:00

It's over. Move on.

2016-01-21T05:21:37+00:00

DATE OTHER WOMEN.

Have you ever read the community literature? The Game, Models, The Manual, etc?

paintwhore · 2016-01-21T01:05:40+00:00

Walk away or make a bolder move.

shitnpissfrankie · 2016-01-21T07:48:54+00:00

Do not dwell on things you cant have , move on and cement her in your social circle . Girls friends are good for social proof and meeting other girls.

2016-01-21T19:46:01+00:00

When a woman has made up her mind about you one way or another, there is very little that will change it. Any attempt you make to change her mind will just make you come off as more and more needy / desperate, which is just another nail in the coffin.

The only chance you have of her coming around is you moving on with your life, and onto other women. If she sees you happy, pursuing your goals and loving life, dating women, there's a chance she might change her mind about you. But even then, it's unlikely, and might only be temporary until she gets your attention again.

If you can see having a completely platonic friendship with this person and want that, then keep in contact with her. Otherwise, move the fuck on and meet new women.

FreedomInMyVeins · 2016-01-21T05:42:29+00:00

As I grow older I realize you are the only one that can put yourself in the "friend zone". If a girl won't talk to you about your feelings for her she's not a friend. If she does recognize your feelings and denies you, but still wants your attention she's not a friend. Neither of those people are friends so how are they going to friend zone you? Move on.

If a wonderful flower does happen to discuss your feelings about her make sure she really does enjoy you as a friend, because if you guys can be good pals, maybe one day...you never know :)

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