Fearing for my mental health in my seduction journey.

humanbean3412 · 2020-01-06T00:03:19+00:00

If you need time to yourself then you should feel free to take that. Not everyone can instantly go back into the playing field after investing their time and emotion into someone that didn't feel the same. This doesn't mean you're weak or pathetic. You could probably improve on certain aspects of your "game" to help your results, but there is always room for improvement no matter what. Take some time to care for yourself, don't make getting dates and getting into a relationship your #1 priority. There's plenty of other things to take care of such as your job/career, finances, health, etc., Dating should be another piece to the puzzle of your life, not the entire puzzle. If you're having trouble fitting that piece in, work on the other pieces until you're ready to try again (don't wait too long though).

axe122 · 2020-01-06T04:25:14+00:00

Think about it this way, if she agrees to go on a date with you she’s already considering you as a potential sexual partner(have to be a sexual partner or your not in a romantic relationship your just friends). She wouldn’t even go out with you in the first place if she see the possibility of you and her having sex. Sex comes before a relationship not after, I can almost guarantee your not sexually escalating and are basically interviewing her on the date.

I think I asked 5 questions on my first date with my current girl and I literally just teased her on some of her answers and drove the date towards a sexual direction within 5 min. I slept with her that night and learned about her over the course of several dates. I literally just went out had fun being playful and teasing her asked and answered enough questions that she could tell her girlfriends a few basic things about me and sexually escalated her with her.

I used to go on dates the way you probly do where you do what yours and most peoples general idea of a date is. Go somewhere ask her a bunch of questions, no awkward pauses, make her laugh a few times and kiss at the end of the date. These dates are boring as hell for her and they don’t establish any kind of connection or spark. You literally talked her out of liking you by not being fun playful and sexual.

Girls like and want sex with men. The date is literally just to have fun and get her comfortable enough to have sex. What’s the point of learning her life story if she doesn’t wanna see you again?

I’ve gotten girls using that interview style but I would go on soooo many dates before one of them basically thought I was really hot or liked me enough on paper to give me a shot.

The reason this sucks is they are 100% choosing you your not in a position to choose them as well because you don’t have options and have to take what you can get. You’ll be operating from a scarcity mindset and most likely act very needy or subtle neediness that eventually turns her off.

If a girl knows you really like her and she’s not sure if she really likes you she’ll move on every time. You gotta act indifferently interested until your actively sleeping with her and she’s showing signs of serious interest.

Just try to go on the date have fun and just try and fuck her. If your super respectful then you literally attempting to just fuck her will balance out somewhere in the middle which is where you wanna be. You’ll be a little nervous sexually escalating the date and kissing her before the dates over, trying to touch her and escalate physically so if you focus on that you’ll most likely end up balancing things right in the center cuz your already so super respectful. If that doesn’t work dual the sexuality up or down with the next girl but I honestly sleep with and date 90% of the girls I get on dates with me because I know I already have them. They wouldn’t even have gone on the date in the first place if they didn’t view me as a potential sexual partner.

Girls don’t go out with guys they don’t see as a potential. They make flakey excuses or won’t give you their number. They go on the date with the idea of just seeing what happens, they don’t go thinking I’m gonna fuck this guy or I’m gonna make him my boyfriend. They are however open to these things with you as long as you don’t bore them to death and talk them out of sleeping with you. Sex is the most important element to the beginning of any relationship. Personality compatibility comes into play for long term but to even get to that point they have to want to have sex with you.if she doesn’t want to sleep with you why would she keep seeing you? You’ll either get ghosted or friendzoned . Shes hoping somewhere that she wants to sleep with you and that you can lead her to the bedroom or she wouldn’t be out with you in the first place. Sex comes before a relationship,asking a million questions is boring for her and does not establish a connection,having things in common plus physical connection does not equal attraction for women the way it does men. Just have fun be playful, tease her and sexually escalate.

I stress sleeping with her so much because if she doesn’t want to sleep with you she’s not gonna want a relationship with you and based on your post it seemed like that’s more of what you were looking for.

BeardedQuetzel14 · 2020-01-06T02:03:40+00:00

what ive learned is to not set expectations on dates or people in general. for me, it has helped me keep enough emotional distance to be engaged while also not getting too attached. let things form naturally. however, be mindful that it is a numbers games and that people will still back out even after a couple dates.

geez, it's so funny how sales advice and dating advice are similar.

grrinchas · 2020-01-05T21:56:03+00:00

If you "even might have kissed", it means the date was shit.

Did you even tried to go to second location?

Did you escalate?

Did you lead?

Did you create rapport?

Did at any point your dick got hard?

Get your shit together and work on that.

gauravbadola · 2020-01-06T03:49:16+00:00

It is not worth it if it messes up your head. Since I've not got that much dating experience, I won't be able to help you regarding your dates, but on the mental front, I can say that anything which makes you feel wrong, depressed and anxious is not worth it. Just a thought: Why don't you go on dates without any expectations? Thinking like if it works, it's okay, and if it doesn't, well it's okay as well. Don't have those dreamy imagination just cause it seems like she is somewhat interested in you. Chances are she's not fully sure, or she's like that with everyone. You will need to understand your own space, happiness, and peace of mind. Anything that wrecks it, is not worth it. Hope you find the one you're looking for.

hahahaha9211 · 2020-01-06T02:07:55+00:00

You need to desensitize yourself even more, have literally no attachment to her or the outcome. It’d be like you losing a penny.... you wouldn’t care about that right?

Hedgeguy · 2020-01-06T05:35:36+00:00

You’re getting way too emotionally invested. A first date is just a chance to get to know each other and see if their is a genuine attraction. Not to fall deeply and love and plan your future with them. If the woman isn’t attracted, move on. You SHOULD be getting enough dates to where losing a girl here and there isn’t such a big deal to you. That’s part of having an “abundance” mindset

TANKER_06 · 2020-01-06T06:04:34+00:00

Sounds like you are investing too much into non-existent relationships.

Opening techniques are great to get the initial conversation going. It's like the spark plug of a vehicle. But once you get the conversation running, it's important to escalate, make your intentions known and be congruent. Because if not, eventually she will either get confused by mixed messages sent by you or just get plain bored and everything will stall (a.k.a she ghosts or "friend zone" you).

And perhaps that is where you are weak at. What do you talk about during those dates? What are your intentions? Did she look genuinely interested? You might have gotten her interest with your approach, but just lost her either because you're not escalating enough, didn't make your intentions known or just sending mixed messages that confuse.

If your goal is to get a girlfriend, your subsequent dates are to reinforce your intentions, escalate more, and find out more about her, as she does the same. Until the time you both decide to take the extra step, then that's when you start to emotionally invest in her.

What you're doing is akin to walking into a car showroom, setting eyes on a car you like, and going "I love this, I want this, here's the cash for it." Even before finding out more about the car or taking it for a test drive. You might get lucky, but chances are, even if you did, you might regret your choice.

Like I mentioned in the past, a relationship is not binary. It's not on or off, yes or no, 1 or 0. It's something developed over time, and if you rush in head first wanting a relationship, chances are, you'll get rejected hard. So, enjoy the journey, invest time into having fun with her, do what you like, as well as explore new things to you that she likes, instead of feelings for someone who you know nothing about.

saus33 · 2020-01-06T18:31:05+00:00

It's good to get support here. And to meditate. Suffering from constant rejection is a real thing.

Here is some reading. Same author offers meditation. https://www.academia.edu/19225608/Ostracism_Consequences_and_Coping

roxxe · 2020-01-07T12:45:10+00:00

i feel your pain, but this is something you can work on, start being non-needy

Brostella · 2020-01-06T02:25:09+00:00

Bruh bitches aint shit

Title	Fearing for my mental health in my seduction journey.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	60
Comments	37
Date	January 5, 2020 9:42 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ekjhbc/fearing_for_my_mental_health_in_my_seduction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fearing-for-my-mental-health-in-my-seduction.1305358 https://theredarchive.com/post/1305358

Comments