I've had many periods of my life where I was committed to doing affirmations, positive thinking, hypnosis, etc. Sometimes, the effects feel pretty good, but inevitably the magic fades and/or I fall out of practice.

I had a bit of a paradigm shift when reading an excellent book called The Happiness Trap, which was recommended to me by a fellow Redditor (actually, The Confidence Gap was recommended, which is by the same author). The book is based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which I hesitate to mention because it sounds really boring.

The premise of the book is that negative thoughts are not something you should oppose with positive thoughts; neg thoughts are natural and it's just our brain doing its job. The book shows how negative thoughts, mental images and sensations (such as feeling very nervous or blushing) can be best addressed. It's also a technique for staying on track with your values (for example, deciding to go out and be social when you are tempted to stay in).

I'll paraphrase an analogy made in the book: Our thinking self is like a radio, and often that radio is playing the Doom and Gloom Show. By employing positive thinking, we decide to play another program, The Happy and Cheerful Show. Actively trying to drown out one radio show with another is not only mentally taxing, but often has the unintended consequence of fixating on the negative radio.

The strategy of the book is to basically let any negative thoughts come, "thank" the thoughts, make space for them, and just don't resist them. This sounds familiar to those of us familiar with mindfulness and meditation, but I still found this framework very helpful.

I already practice mindfulness, so this book was very easy to implement. It's a nice contrast to all of the positive thinking books that give you an initial high, but later let you down. I found this book very relevant to those of us in r/seduction who are trying to be more social (in fact, the author sometimes uses examples about being more social, asking someone on a date, etc.).

BTW, I have no affiliation with the author, and I'm sure that other books based on ACT are similarly helpful. I just found this book very readable and helpful. Other people may be more interested in employing a "cowboy the fuck up" attitude, and if that works for them--even in the short term--that might be more beneficial for the time being.