Do I need: A) a bootcamp, B) a shrink, or C) a completely new life?

_FAPSTRADAMUS_ · 2013-02-21T01:59:36+00:00

I would spend that 3k on yourself dude, go to asia, see if you actaully like it. Get a hooker if you want but make the trip more about travelling than women. Or maybe to to Vegas and get one of the female or male escorts to show you a night on the town. From my experiences, just hanging out with people with good social skills will up your social skills so I know you're not gay but there are dudes in Vegas that you can pay to party with them. Also check out /r/nofap if you've never tried it. It can be life changing.

DrunkAtTheWedding · 2013-02-21T12:54:49+00:00

I would say your problem is that you need to approach a lot more. Spending money on anything is not the way to go.

If you have had no girlfriends and never kissed a girl, I would say therapy.

If you are approaching many people every day, but somewhere along the way you reach a sticking point you can't get past. A boot camp sounds like it might help.

But since you are neither, I would recommend you do something like the style life challenge. Or even just make a schedule to approach one additional girl every day, starting from one and going to 10, then asking for one additional phone number a day, from 1-5, until you are at the point where you are consistently able to set up dates. Free PUA material will help guide you through how to improve your success while follow this routine.

Your biggest limiting issue though seems to be your lack of desire to push your comfort zone. approach women like I outlined, or do the style life challenge. But also make it a point to go to a loud bar twice a week for at least a couple hours, and a night club once a month for the whole evening. This will force you to put yourself out there in an environment where people go to meet new people. I know you don't like if, but consider work, if you work hard, you will be rewarded.

Good luck!

kingcal · 2013-02-21T04:14:27+00:00

Get a job teaching English in Korea. I've been here for three years and love it. Head turningly beautiful girls on every street corner. Job itself isn't too bad, as long as you can deal with kids.

thematfactor · 2013-02-21T05:17:25+00:00

If you're looking for traditional therapy, Russ Harris is a world leading psychologist in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and his book "the confidence gap" was helpful to me.

http://www.amazon.com/Confidence-Gap-Guide-Overcoming-Self-Doubt/dp/1590309235

I also tend to think that travel really does broaden the mind and make you a more interesting person. While I've never done a bootcamp, I tend to think that with the cost of them, you'd be better to take a holiday to Vietnam or Thailand for a few weeks.

2013-02-21T12:41:13+00:00

My advice may be different than what most of these guys tell you because I'm not really part of this community. I'm more like you, a lurker, often an admirer. I just want different things than a lot of these guys, but I still can learn from what they do. I don't usually post here, but it seems like many of your goals are similar to mine, so I may be able to help you a bit.

I can't tell you about a PUA boot camp since I've never been. My advice on therapy is that if you have some sort of condition you should probably go regardless of everything else. As far as your sense of shame? It's normal. That usually goes away when you raise your self-esteem because you care less about how other people view you.

Anyways, onto the real stuff. This kind of explains my perspective. It's also very close to the advice I'd give you. Given your current social skills set, I think my system would work very well for you. Let me know if you have any questions and good luck, mate.

Tenmagnet · 2013-02-21T04:29:20+00:00

I teach bootcamps and students like yourself, who have their act together in life and just need a game booster are the guys who get the most out of our programs. If you still had bad social anxiety I would say fix that first, but it seems like you've gotten a good solid base, which means you'll likely get a lot from the program.

Obviously, it's up to you whether you think it's worth the price (hey, it's expensive, I know), but I can say that students like you tend to be really happy, and usually do great. They often say they wish they had taken a bootcamp sooner, rather than spend further months and years dealing with this big "hump" that they were unable to get over.

Also, nobody will think you're a creep for going to asia, unless you start posting pictures to facebook of you with pattya bar girls. Shame is one of those emotions you pretty much need to cut out of your life. The secret is to cultivate your own values, live by them, and only let yourself feel shame if you violate your OWN principles.

Anyway man, if you have any questions about Lovesystems, just message me.

leodoestheopposite · 2013-02-21T04:31:08+00:00

Older redditor here, but I can see some of the younger me in what you wrote, back in the days I was in worse shape than you: very shay and the ultimate AFC. Fast forward to today, and I've got pretty good game.

Knowing what I know now, this is the advice I would give my younger self if I could get a hold of a time-warping machine:

work on yourself. Women and social like will follow
it's not a question about changing, or doing/be more; it's a question of being your true self, without the bullshit that is stopping you now
Read the book No More Mr Nice Guy
Read the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
read the sidebar on /r/seduction and all the related material
Talk to EVERYONE (a.k.a.: daygame)
Read about how to be a Confident Modern Male

yougottawanna · 2013-02-21T02:49:40+00:00

I'm in a very similar situation to you, 2 years older and your social skills bullet points are really similar to mine except I'm divorced. I just came across these two articles over the weekend - I recommend giving them a read before you consider throwing money at therapy or a bootcamp.

http://postmasculine.com/the-prime-belief

http://postmasculine.com/self-help

bentleymazerati · 2013-02-21T07:31:32+00:00

Why feel shameful for desiring asian women ? Because of silly social bullshit surrounding the fact that you're a white man living in america ?

You need to say fuck that and actually believe it.

greatfool667 · 2013-02-21T14:17:16+00:00

You can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another. There's nothing to that. - Ernest Hemingway

If you want to move great, I believe in trying a bunch of things until you find what you like, but don't expect to change yourself by changing where you are. Keep those separate.

RandianHero · 2013-02-21T19:31:07+00:00

Do you really want to drop that kind of money on something you could learn yourself through practice and firsthand experience? Take that three grand and put it towards making new life experiences, not lining the pockets of some asshole who figured out the perfect way to scam lonely guys.
You're way too concerned with what other people think about your life. Go wherever the fuck you want to go and ditch the needless shame.
You could go to a therapist, or you could cowboy the fuck up and get through your problems on your own. To me, the choice is obvious. Figuring stuff out yourself is far more rewarding than having someone hold your hand through the process.

jewiger · 2013-02-21T11:18:10+00:00

My advice would be to move to Asia. It will be a life-altering experience for you and you get a chance to re-invent your self. You can teach English for cash until you establish a network over there. It was a fantastic experience for me and something I will never forget.

PerthroXIII · 2013-02-21T13:53:19+00:00

RSD Bootcamp

2013-02-21T04:05:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Do I need: A) a bootcamp, B) a shrink, or C) a completely new life?
Author	baboonbutt1
Upvotes	16
Comments	34
Date	February 21, 2013 1:34 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/18xb5a/do_i_need_a_a_bootcamp_b_a_shrink_or_c_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-i-need-a-a-bootcamp-b-a-shrink-or-c-a.1347813 https://theredarchive.com/post/1347813

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