What exactly did I do here?

impotent_rage · 2010-02-22T16:05:41+00:00

You let her know that you are still attracted, and you also showed some balls/assertiveness, which is attractive.

How she takes it depends on her, but you reminded her what your true intentions are.

If she is attracted in return, then, you might have a chance if/when she and her boyfriend break up. If not, then she's relegated you to the role of "orbiter" (male person who she knows wants her but who she keeps around as a "friend" as a self esteem boost to herself or as someone she can get to do boyfriend-ly favors for her without ever actually making it a relationship, etc)

prophetfxb · 2010-02-24T07:17:36+00:00

What I do with any female friends is draw a clear line between friendzone and possibility zone. I will be any girls friend, but I walk the line very finely by being friendly but still playing the game like making subtle comments that friends would otherwise not say to each other.

Example: her> oh im going to take a shower. me> oh awesome ill be right in.

simple and humorous and still says... hey we are pals but I would def toss you on the bed.

as far as what I think you should do? I think you should go. and I think you should bring another girl. "Boyfriend" is really a word that I dont pay attention to. If a girl wants to make a decision to leave him or make a decision to cheat on him... its really not my business, its theirs. I know that may sound harsh, but people are responsible for their own actions.

Theres no reason to not be nice to the guy simply because he is her "boyfriend". If you bring another girl though it will most likely make her a bit jealous.

TangentLogic · 2010-02-23T01:54:07+00:00

Wow, there is a lot of bad advice here, and a lot of negativity. They do know this is /r/seduction right?

Okay, here's my read. You made the right move and conveyed a strong frame (probably making her nervous, hence the leg).

Is she attracted to you?

If she is attracted to you then it sounds like she's keeping you around for the ego gratification of having an orbiter and a possible 'go to' if and when she breaks up with her boyfriend. (Many attractive women go from bf to bf without ever really being single by keeping guys in the queue.) Either way, good move to set a strong frame that you are a potential lover, not an emotional tampon, er, 'friend'. That is what you conveyed (to answer your question.) I wouldn't go to any more of her ego-gratification worship-fests (sorry, birthday parties) unless I was taking an attractive woman friend to flirt with or there is the possibility to flirt with her.

If she isn't attracted to you then it means you're interest isn't reciprocated, and you're an orbiter in the 'friend zone' and you're better off not wasting your time and interest on her because clearly you want to be more than 'friends.' You've set a strong frame for that now.

Where to go from here? Keep the strong frame and only see her if you can flirt madly with her, and she'll keep in touch if she is interested.

rustoof · 2010-02-22T17:56:20+00:00

To me this sounds bitter and childish. You basically are saying that the friendship is meaningless and you are only her friend so you can hang around on the side until she is single. You are not doing yourself any favors here. How does her leg bobbing indicate that she was happy hearing you say that?

rustoof · 2010-02-22T16:38:57+00:00

I mean that's a very blunt way of saying a very good thing. That is direct and assertive, but it is also logical, and women hate logic. Focus on the emotions. If you'd have been like well I don't want you to go crazy having to focu on your boyfriend when I'm around or something like that. See they're dramatic, and she subconciously likes the idea of going crazy. Frame control.

Also when it comes to stealing boyfriends it is absolutely essential that everything you guys do should be fun and interesting. Women don't understand statistics and things like sample sizes. If she spends fifteen minutes with you and the whole time is fun your golden. After all she prolly spent a good amount of time being bored around her boyfriend. Of course your life is just as boring as her boyfriends but she won't think that. Oh and If you were doing this to my girlfriend she would definitely tell me, and i would do my very best to kick your ass or fuck you up. Be warned.

CuilRunnings · 2010-02-22T16:02:04+00:00

Wow.

Deacon · 2010-02-22T18:31:31+00:00

You're a fucking creep, she is happy in her relationship, she has verbally SAID this to you by reminding you that you are her -friend- and her knee bobbing means you made her nervous. Get a fucking life.

tommyschoolbruh · 2010-02-22T17:43:35+00:00

thisisvariable is right, it was a shit test. but whether or not you passed remains to be seen.

what i do know is if this girl gets back in touch with you and still has her bf, what she'll be telling you is 'ok, let's fuck.'

Title	What exactly did I do here?
Author	TangentLogic
Upvotes	7
Comments	48
Date	February 22, 2010 3:53 PM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/b51uf/what_exactly_did_i_do_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-exactly-did-i-do-here.1309878 https://theredarchive.com/post/1309878

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