In defense of indirect game and a little encouragement to those feeling unwelcome in a set.

mynewname · 2010-05-24T14:24:06+00:00

So I did a little "research" in \r\2XC. I grant that redditors might not be the type of girl that go clubbing 3 times a week, but there are definitely some themes there common to all women. Basically:

Most women seemed to like getting hit on if the guy isn't making them uncomfortable.
Women are most often made uncomfortable by: persistent stares, being followed, being pushy about the number, being pressed after being clear that she's taken, being approached by creepily older guys. Basically this means that unless you're doing it very very wrong, most women seem to appreciate it. You might not need a strict 3 second rule, but a 30 second rule prevents you from being the "creepy staring guy".
Some women are made uncomfortable just by knowing their being hit on, feeling inexperienced at the whole flirting thing. So indirect game is useful in that it not only can disable a girl's bitch shield, but can also put her more at ease.

intjpua · 2010-05-24T17:40:43+00:00

I don't think this response is necessarily pro-indirect game.

Direct game can also be non-creepy, non-stalkery, and non-pushy. In fact, it has to be in order to work.

In fact, some of the answers made me think direct game would be better with some of those girls. The girls who don't know how to flirt, for instance. It probably comes from an inability to read the cues so important in flirting and respond appropriately to them. If you aren't being coy, she doesn't have to respond with coyness in return. You're being clear about your intentions, and all she has to do is take or leave your offer.

I know a girl who didn't respond at all well to indirect game. She always seemed uncomfortable with it, though she kept coming to my house and initiating conversations. I wasn't sure what to do with the situation.

Until one day, something a little weird happened: She and I and some of my friends were chatting, and the company she worked for came up, and my friends laughed because she worked for the one company that they had mentioned in the past as being the only company I hadn't dated a girl from (this is sounding really weird, but I live in an area where there are several super awesome companies to work for, and I've just happened to date girls from all the best ones except one, and my friends knew it, and joked about it). She was confused. When I explained it to her later, and jokingly said she got to be my girl from that company, everything turned around. She said, "I didn't know you wanted me to be your girl." She was totally excited at that point. Unfortunately, timing and logistics were off and nothing came of it, but I know that look when I see it, and that was the first time I'd gotten that look from this girl, despite hanging out with her a lot, and trying all sorts of indirect stuff.

tl;dr Sometimes direct is what a girl wants and needs. The key to being good at this is recognizing what the situation calls for and doing it.

edit: Of course, this is not an approach story, but I'm still absolutely certain that many girls will be better dealt with directly.

rmbarnes · 2010-05-24T16:28:40+00:00

I don't care whether women like me approaching them, I don't do it for their benefit.

Title	In defense of indirect game and a little encouragement to those feeling unwelcome in a set.
Author	mynewname
Upvotes	2
Comments	13
Date	May 24, 2010 2:10 PM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/c7jo5/in_defense_of_indirect_game_and_a_little/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/in-defense-of-indirect-game-and-a-little.1310405 https://theredarchive.com/post/1310405

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