Feeling... Overwhelmed

manaiish · 2010-07-07T00:28:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

thirteenthirty7 · 2010-07-07T02:17:47+00:00

I learned more in one week of actual sarging and going out than I did in the years of reading about pickup. Get outside, experience is the best teacher.

By the way, you're going to suck. You will get blown out. Accept this, laugh about it, keep your head high, and keep on pushing forward.

: )

Li0Li · 2010-07-07T00:38:59+00:00

About 50-80% of everything out there is irrelevant, the most important thing is to get out and practice, talk to women. It's very important you don't get so into reading or watching stuff that you avoid actually going out and practicing. Sort out your confidence first, that's by far the most important thing, perhaps the only thing, if you don't have the confidence to talk to women and to say unconventional things to them, then reading and reading will do nothing.

Then, after a good bit of practice, pick a method and go with it until you have a firm enough understanding of it's strengths and weaknesses, then find another method, etc. Along the way, you'll reach sticking points, read specific things about them and dedicate time to eradicating them, then move on.

Dantai · 2010-07-07T02:55:26+00:00

Hey Dantai,

It's good to hear that you listened to man transformations... let me tell you about how I started.

I was exposed to David Deangelo's stuff first with the ebook "Double Your Dating" and I went on to the "Mastery Series" I found David's advice very helpful... this was when the community was fairly young. Also in that Mastery Series there's an interview with Rick H. (http://www.youtube.com/user/CatchCanista1#g/a) which I also find very helpful. From what I remember there was interview with "Twenty-Six" for David Deangelo's interview series where I remember that was very funny and helpful... try to search it. This was at a David D. conference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgR88EZsTVQ

Then I was exposed to cliff's list, seduction forums, Mystery, RSD, Pickup 101, Thundercat, Hypnotica, Paul Janka, Mehow, Ross Jeffries etc. As I listened through them some of them are helpful but most of them are not that helpful for me since it seems to contradict my personality and I don't like going to bars since I don't drink anyway and I find sober women more challenging. And I feel that they're more outer-game than inner-game... like a crutch if you will.

Then I was exposed to David Wygant (through David Deangelo too, which you heard in that audio... he's not that into the seduction community but more into dating/meeting people side) and 60 Years Challenge... I find both of them more inline with my personality.

I guess in essence you need to find what works for your personality. Hopefully that helps you!

tl;dr: Find one that fits your personality, work on your inner-game first. Making use of seduction "techniques" (ex. DHV, NEGs, etc) first is only 'band-aid' solution to the problem. A smart and secure girl can see through you.
Also congratulations on finishing Insanity! You should try P90X and Insanity hybrid ;)

alexryane · 2010-07-07T17:42:12+00:00

Just go and try things. This isn't medicine or law, you don't need a degree and license. No-one is going to bite your head off and you'll be far better off learning things for yourself. All this crap is based around a few simple psychology concepts and even they are dubious.

Really just put yourself in a woman's shoes and imagine a guy from her perspective, what would make him more attractive? How would you feel about him approaching you? How about him kissing you? What would it take for you to go home with him?

Try and be attracted to yourself, literally.

pooflinga · 2010-07-07T00:27:52+00:00

Honestly, what you read doesn't matter half as much as actually going out there and talking to people. That being said I would recommend reading The Mystery Method, and then some books to help you with any sticking points (I had to read about phone game, and The Escalation ladder). Also Neil Strauss's Rule's of the Game is a good 30 day challenge that gets you out there talking to people (which is more important than reading anything!).

2010-07-07T02:42:14+00:00

First and foremost: What is your goal? What end are you trying to achieve? Write that down.

Sublomino · 2010-07-07T05:49:02+00:00

Here's what it comes down to, and others have said it too, that you just have to go out and fail as much as possible. Yeah you can learn some stuff from videos and reading, but you won't learn it, really learn it. You can see something from a video and try it infield and get some result from it, whatever system you want to use. But, because it won't mean anything to you, you'll just forget it as soon as you tried it and move on to trying something else hoping that that will work, too.

By going out and just learning through failing, you learn subtle distinctions. You learn the value of failure. You learn the value of the techniques and skills that you're learning. You learn just how important the important skills are, and just how unimportant the unimportant skills are.

J.K. Rowling, author of Harry Potter, said it best: "So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."

SedditGuy · 2010-07-07T15:55:36+00:00

All that material is good shit. Someone on here posted Dale Carnigies "How to win friends and influence people" ... I got it and read it... BOOM. He was right. This shit is sales. I am a product in high demand and I am in the best interest of the market to buy me. I know I'm a good guy and boom I'm selling a product I believe in. Its effortless because everyone wants me if this person isn't "getting it" no worries its not worth my time or concern as I have other customers. This is called being in alignment with your values.

You're an adult. She is an adult. The extreme majority of woman like sex. They like sex a LOT. They just don't want to waste their time with some douche who can't get it up or turn them on. There aren't a whole lot of guys out there that are really worth a girls time. Girls often get desperate and settle. Having sex for fun is perfectly acceptable just be smart and practice safe sex.

My point is. The game is in you. You just have to clear up the lens you're revealing your game to the world through. As you start working from your core then you'll be able to understand this material out there. As you spend time living an extraordinary life you'll have your stories. As you become to really love yourself more and more you'll have your confidence.

Start talking to random people. Guys and girls. Just start with saying hello. Then making a conversation out of it. Then trying to get them to like you. Then to setup a date. Then to get out of the friendzone before you even get in it. If you come across a stumbling block you need to first realize it as yourself why you're uncomfortable with it. Why didn't it feel right?

Your success with girls is not a measure of you as a person. It is only a measure of how well you convey yourself to girls. What this means is that if it doesn't work out with you and a girl that is not a reflection on you only that you didn't do a good job of demonstrating that for her. Look back, see what you did etc.

reph · 2010-07-07T01:29:10+00:00

Read everything, then DO IT. 4 nights a week, minimum of 4 sets a night.

I always commit to a minimum of 3 solid number closes every weekend. This becomes very easy to achieve with some practice.

mynewname · 2010-07-07T02:02:24+00:00

The basics you need to get in the field:

Openers and false-time constraints
KINO
A few good close examples to generalize from

For the next level:

DHV
negs/teasing
body language/eye contact
style of dress/lifestyle choices
Inner Game

If you have the BASICS, less reading, more doing.

Cranky_Analyst · 2010-07-07T01:52:21+00:00

The thing that helped me the most was the DYD Body Language DVD. If nothing else, fix your body language, and what comes out of your mouth couldn't possibly matter less.

2010-07-07T01:39:47+00:00

All you need to know about what women want can be learned from watching Doctor Who. I'm not kidding.

Title	Feeling... Overwhelmed
Author	Dantai
Upvotes	10
Comments	23
Date	July 7, 2010 12:21 AM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cmolj/feeling_overwhelmed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/feeling-overwhelmed.1310812 https://theredarchive.com/post/1310812

Comments