I have a Friend who is coming over tonight. I have a hard time of escalating things with her. Any help quick would be appreciated

ilykdp · 2010-07-29T02:41:29+00:00

I had a similar experience with a coworker. She came over, and we fooled around while watching a movie. After some heavy kissing, I moved my hand to her breasts - and she pushed them off. I backed off, but kept on kissing. Later I tried to move my hand down in between her legs, but she grabbed my hand again and pushed it away.

At that point, I just carelessly sighed and invited her to crash at my place, or I could take her home, because I was very sleepy (4am). She slept over and in the morning, after watching tv for a while, we started to kiss again. I tried to escalate the same way, but she kept pushing my hand away. In a joking tone, I said that it's not nice to wind a guy up like that - "I'm like a jack-in-the-box. Keep winding me and eventually I have to pop". She replied "I'm not the one initiating". So I reply, smiling and still in a non-serious voice, "fine, I will no longer touch you."

I focused on the tv, and slowly, she starts to initiate. I cut her off once the kissing started again, to go to the bathroom. As I come back, I noticed she took off the gym shorts I let her borrow, but she was under the blankets, so I couldn't see. I responded by leaping onto her, and really turning on the sexual aggressiveness (She was kinda rough when we were making out, so I know she wouldn't be totally freaked out) She flipped me over, kicked off her underwear, and we had sex for the first time. This was after two dates and some light making out.

TL;DR When you freeze-out the girl, you MUST keep a light and carefree attitude. Never convey bitterness or frustration - unless it is clearly laced with a smile and a joking tone.

2010-07-29T07:35:00+00:00

I posted something about this a little while ago. Reposting it below:

One rule i found that helps a lot to avoid such behaviour is to tease her mercilessly with my hands and mouth. If she can't predictably anticipate what you are going to do next that builds sexual tension and as long as she feels safe around you enough sexual tension will make her beg to jump your bones. I'll give you a few specific example of what sorts of things i do, but in general, remember to move your hands relatively slowly, be firm (not to the point of hurting her) and always escalate where appropriate*.

Onto the examples: Sometimes when i go in for a kiss i stop a few millimeters away from her mouth. She then moves her head forward to kiss me, and i generally let her, but every now and again i move my head back as well so she misses me entirely. This will make her laugh/smile, and as she is doing that, i kiss her. While I am making out with her, I allow my hands to explore all around her body, touching skin if possible. At first it's only in safe areas like her back and sides but I always escalate - a good indication of when its safe to escalate is when her breathing pattern changes to become laboured as that indicates arousal. The neck is an incredibly erogenous zone, so that is what i initially focus on.

And speaking of the neck, one trick i love doing is while kissing her from the front is placing my hand in bellybutton region and then slowly working my hand upwards beneath her top. She will think that I am going for her breasts but keep working upward in a straight line until the hand is at her neck. Then I curl my hand and cup the back of her neck with it as I kiss her. The move is both teasing and quite passionate, and because my hand ends on a erogenous zone it can be a good way to initiate breast play by slowly kissing down from her mouth to the exposed side of her neck while simultaneously moving my hand downwards to cup the bottom of a breast, and then move the hand away. By this stage it should be possible to take off her top, which will allow greater access and more breast attention in the future.

Other general advice includes not being mute (tell her how soft her skin is, for instance), paying attention to her nonverbal cues and remembering that you could use some foreplay too. After clothes start coming off, its perfectly fine to place her hand on your crotch and rubbing slowly so she can start getting you er, up for the tasks to come.

*If she says "no" or stops you then one must always respect her wishes. Stop what you are doing completely and leave the area for some orange juice/etc. If she re-initiates when you return, awesome, and if not, theres always another night (=.

madeffx · 2010-07-29T00:15:17+00:00

Mystery : Last minute resistance http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n37UhhiiFTw

Kandoh · 2010-07-29T00:56:40+00:00

When in doubt, whip it out.

Sroek · 2010-07-29T07:58:31+00:00

I don't know why people are suggesting freeze outs. He's been seeing her for a few months already.

Just plow right through. She's shit testing you with last minute resistance. When she says we shouldn't be doing this, respond with "I know, we shouldn't." but keep going anyway.

Dantai · 2010-07-29T00:25:50+00:00

I read this somewhere and its definitely a Mystery Method thing. You be the first one to say something like "Oh my god this is so wrong, we shouldn't be doing this" as casually and suave as possible, then go straight back to business. Other ways of blasting LMR, is if say your trying to push one step forward and resists, then you immediately stop and I think say something like I don't want to do anything that you are not comfortable with and grab a laptop and start browsing reddit. lol. Then she'll get back into it, keep going and repeat above, if you encounter anymore LMR.

Enthusizer · 2010-07-29T19:03:52+00:00

This is probably too late (my post) but you have to tackle the friends statement. If you guys naturally progress into that state where you are going to have sex and she starts doubting if you should you have to convince her that it's what you want. If she "i don't sleep with friends" card then you can respond in a few ways. Having no idea what personalities either of you have this is more of a get some ideas than do literally what I say.

This is the method I would use, broken down into 8 simple phases. Remember, you are in control of yourself and you already know that she is interested in you so don't be nervous more than you have to. Also, at no point during this should you become aggressive, this is a sensitive subject for her so you must have an air of calm about you, remain in control of the situation. You have this planned out so it isn't hard to stay in control. Most importantly, be romantic!

Phase 1. Making out

Phase 2. Escalates to intimate making out

Phase 3. You initiate sex maneuvers

Phase 4. She backs away, doubting herself about what she wants

Phase 5. She says she doesn't sleep with friends

Phase 6. You respond by saying 'It's okay, I think we should stop. Letme get us some coffee (or water if you can't, coffee gives enough time for silent thought)'

Phase 7. Bring her the coffee and sit next to her, but not in an overbearing way. Silently drink the first sip or two, we want a calm and relaxed mood right now

Here's where you initiate a relationship beyond your friendship

Phase 8. You say: We have good chemistry with one another, it's why we trust each other. I enjoy our friendship, and would like to see it grow into something better. *Mary Jane, I want to date you romantically so we can both discover one another and see where it goes.

Phase 8.b. Or (if she's into the "cornier" stuff you could say everything up to the * and say this instead: Mary Jane, I would very much love the opportunity to court you with the hopes of discovering who you are.

Edit: I recommend going with 8. over 8.b. because it's more natural. 8.b is how they used to do it when men were gentlemen, so it has a +/- for it. The plus is that it's romantic, maybe even charming, if it fits your personality. The minus is that if she isn't receptive to that type of language you basically lost.

Phase 8 or 8.b. will provide you with a definitive answer as to where the relationship is going, either she will reject you and you guys will become friends, or she will accept and you now have a girlfriend.

sneakatdatavibe · 2010-07-29T09:24:10+00:00

Alcohol. Also, lrn2 push-pull. Be the one backing off instead of her, turn it around.

You're not in the friend zone if your makeouts are continuing and are actually "hot and heavy" (and not just "internet" hot and heavy).

strongoaktree · 2010-07-29T07:31:18+00:00

during make out sessions, lift both of your shirts, so that your bellies rub.

It makes sex feel more comfortable.

alexryane · 2010-07-29T09:54:24+00:00

You know that feeling when a girl is obviously about to grab your dick and give you a blowjob/handjob but she just hasn't touched it yet. She's still teasing you, touching you everywhere but there and you're getting harder and harder in anticipation practically begging her to grab your fucking cock.

You can do the same with women.

But theres a catch. You need to punish her for fucking with you like this, tease her extra hard and then give her the time of her life. After that you need to see other girls, make her jealous, make her beg for sex and eventually leave her for someone who doesn't wind you up.

2010-07-29T15:50:12+00:00

RAEP

Title	I have a Friend who is coming over tonight. I have a hard time of escalating things with her. Any help quick would be appreciated
Author	trickyTrickster
Upvotes	22
Comments	22
Date	July 28, 2010 11:54 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cuuu4/i_have_a_friend_who_is_coming_over_tonight_i_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-have-a-friend-who-is-coming-over-tonight-i-have.1311100 https://theredarchive.com/post/1311100

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