Bumping into a flake one year later and finding out what went wrong -what you thought was smooth game was actually creepy and weird. Anyone else had similar experiences?

KidStrangelove · 2010-10-12T18:02:58+00:00

absolutely not, it was embarrassing, plus it was done under my old screen name which would lead almost directly to who I am.

Just take my word dude.... it was BAD

2010-10-12T20:56:08+00:00

I've had some girls misread my intentions. For example, I was using kino on a girl who went to a dance with me a few years ago, nothing major, but she completely misunderstood and thought I was trying to come on to her hardcore. I found out later she never had a boyfriend before and was wary of guys, so her inexperience caused her to misread me just being friendly.

Big thing: try to remember that girls have a past that affects who they are. Not all girls are the same, and what some find flattering others will find creepy. It's extremely hard to know any of their past ahead of time, so you have to expect some misunderstandings.

That being said, it's still good to listen in those cases and reflect on your past methods to see if there is anything you can improve.

EncasedMeats · 2010-10-12T16:58:53+00:00

Really excellent points made here. The net of it all being that most girls don't want to bang an always on narcissist (and the ones who do are probably quite disturbed).

MothershipConnection · 2010-10-13T03:23:07+00:00

Alright, since no one's really shared their own personal experiences like you did, I will chime in with my own. In essence I agree with you. There's no real substitute for time and experience, and no better person to learn from than yourself, if you can bear the introspection. I was at the very least aware of and had read through some of the online communities like SoSuave and had seen shows like the Pickup Artist and flipped through The Game back in college, though I never really applied any of it personally (I had a lot of problems back in college back in the mid-00s, women not the least of them). I finally decided to apply some of what I read off that and books like Ron Lewis's "How to Succeed with Women" back probably the later half of 08. I also signed up for OkCupid around this time and spent entirely too much time on there. Never followed any strict program like that Style Life one or joined a lair or anything like that, which either would have gotten me more women or accelerated me faster into full blown douchebaggery, and I'm not sure which.

Anyway, when I think about back then, I remember a whole lot of... awkwardness. First off, I have real mixed feelings about the online dating thing. It definitely inflates the value of even just decent looking women (cause they rarely respond back!) and tricks you into spending more time in front of a computer instead of actually going out, interacting with people, but I can't say I didn't get a few dates and valuable experiences from them.

But when I think back upon some of them, there's some I almost want to apologize to for being such a douche, and then some girls I kick myself a bit for not pursuing further. But sometimes it's better to leave the sleeping dogs where they lay. There's at least a few I fucked and ran without really being clear of my intentions and that's not really cool. Maybe one day I'll go all My Name is Earl on people. Then there's others I never made real moves on cause of various women related neuroses I hadn't gotten over and I'm like damn, I was dumb. I ran into one of them a few months ago looking all Tina Fey and I was like "I flaked out on that art museum with you why? I is dumb."

Of course, bullets dodged too.

As far as actual smooth game gone wrong, lot of similar stuff to you. Talking way too much about myself instead of having an actual human conversation. Being way, way too concerned about openers and what people might be like. I remember two particularly horrible approaches to two groups of girls where I tried some canned opener or something like it, but came with horrible confidence and body language, and I just felt like a pig put to a roast on a spit.

But you learn. Things are better and more relaxed now.

2010-10-13T05:10:08+00:00

god yes.

i wasnt into game or pua at the time, so i didnt know what i was doing, but here goes.

my ex (yes she was japanese and my very first girlfriend-this was in the U.S. though) and i had broken up about 6 months prior, and so I was trying to find new girls. There was a girl in my study group that i had kinda liked, but didnt really think about a lot (also a j-girl).

Anyways, one night i was throwing a huge party, and a lot of people did come. I sent a text message to everyone in my phone telling the time, date etc. I got a reply from girl 2 asking "will i know anyone there?" and I said "you will know me."

She ends up coming, and I had massive social proof. There was this big party, and I was the host of it. People kept coming up to give me money for the keg and to thank me for the party. My date kept asking me where I was going to stay (i now realize this was an IOI and possibly an indirect way to ask me to go to her place.) For some reason, I thought it was a good idea to talk to only her for the whole night, just to show her that I "cared" or whatever. The only time i left her was when i was gonna go play some music w/ friends. A blonde HB8 even slapped my ass in front of my date, and i just gave her this look like "WTF" instead of having fun with it.

anyways, j-girl and i go upstairs to talk, and she asks me if i only date japanese girls (shit test). At the time, this was true but i just kind of cowered and said "you are really special blah blah blah" to this girl that i barely knew. (after this night, i branched out but i still just love the japanese girls.. not koreans, not chinese, not thai, but only japanese girls-hence moving to japan.)

after that, she said she had to go, and then for the next 3 weeks i texted her every day trying to get a meet up-until i had enough and finally quit. Thinking about this story makes me cringe. I could have avoided it all by making her qualify herself to me by not complying with the shit test.. now, i probably would have said something like, "not only do i date japanese girls, you are the only one i havent dated" with a big smile.

2010-10-12T17:36:11+00:00

Come on man, post the field report!

ShawnGupta · 2010-10-12T20:28:32+00:00

Story of my life.

2010-10-12T19:44:09+00:00

Awesome. Thanks for sharing.

westsan · 2010-10-13T17:26:34+00:00

Any girl (or anyone for that matter) that is a flake in the begining is a flake through-in and through-out. No use crying over spilled milk on that one. Better opportunities await.

Comments