How do I be interesting?

eshvar60 · 2010-10-26T15:11:37+00:00

She probably won't care what you do. But she'll love telling you about the things she does :)

dangercollie · 2010-10-26T15:27:55+00:00

I'm currently in my last year of university majoring in Mathematics.

That's not necessarily a handicap, but I might suggest balancing it out with something creative. Music, art, or something athletic. Just so "math major" doesn't have to the first thing out of your mouth. It's okay to be smart but it can be intimidating to some girls, especially math.

I just feel like mentioning these things will kill any chance I have with the target.

Might suggest stop thinking about women as targets instead of people with feelings and unique talents of their own.

I work as a part time math tutor and produce clerk.

You might be putting potential dates to sleep. You have no currency with the opposite sex and a boring major. If you want to meet interesting people, do interesting things. Instead of "math major" I'd want to say, "I help NASA calculate satellite orbits." Same thing, it's all complex math, but see the difference?

intjpua · 2010-10-27T07:37:29+00:00

Your biggest problem is your self-image. You think you're boring, so you're going to be boring. You're also going to be really exhausting to talk to.

But, your major doesn't make you boring. Your interests don't, necessarily, make you boring...though I would recommend you get some hobbies and pursuits that aren't nerdy (I'm a lifelong nerd; believe me when I tell you that you won't regret the days you take off from reddit or video games to hike or camp or visit a zoo or bowl or play mini-golf).

Your attitude is what makes you boring. If you approach your conversations with enthusiasm and a general attitude of curiosity rather than fear of someone finding out your horrible dark secret (that you're a nerd), you'll find that things go a lot better. As I mentioned, I'm a nerd. I'm a Linux-using, software writing, science-loving, Firefly-watching, video game playing, scifi reading, lifelong nerd, and my most important asset is my mind. No one who meets me can possibly come away with any other impression of me (no one will mistake me, for example, for a jock or a politician)...it's definitely woven into my character.

And, even with all of those things that would clearly be handicaps from your perspective, I'm a fucking brilliant conversationalist. I'm entertaining as hell. Girls are laughing within seconds of meeting me. You know why? Because I adore myself and my life, and can talk with absolute enthusiasm and sincerity about all sorts of things, and I can listen when girls talk about what matters to them. It certainly helps that I do awesome and interesting stuff, like a lot of traveling, these days...but I can make girls laugh talking nothing but nerdy shit, too. And you can too.

Never lie to girls, except when it is funny. Tell the truth interestingly and with enthusiasm and no shame (this "no shame" thing is something you really need to internalize).

One other random thought:

When you have low self-esteem like you do, you begin to hear criticism and negativity in everything people say to you. When a girl says, "Ugggh, I hate math." it's not about you, at all. It's about her! Imagine that, someone talking about themselves! It's 90% of what comes out of peoples mouths...something about themselves. Since this comment is about her, you don't have to apologize for it or somehow find a way to please her. Some random girl you just met hates math, so fucking what? You don't have to fix it. You don't even have to stay on the same subject, if you don't want to. You can say or do whatever you want at that point in time. You can walk away because she's too dumb to be worth your time. You can laugh, and ask her why. You can make a joke about how you once hated math, too, but then you saw through the Matrix and now you understand that it's all numbers. You can laugh and say, "Wow, are you dumb? You're not dumb, are you? You don't seem dumb. But it's kinda dumb to hate math."*

*-You probably think I'm joking about calling a girl dumb like this. I'm not. I think that's a perfectly valid response, and as long as your state's right when you said it, I suspect it would field test really well, particularly with really hot girls. But, it's probably the advanced version of this particular approach and should only come after you've actually gotten comfortable flirting with girls.

Sublomino · 2010-10-26T15:31:11+00:00

People think that their life won't be fulfilling unless they have someone else there with them to do it with, so they do nothing interesting by themselves thinking that they can't enjoy their time just by themselves. If you had a girlfriend, what kinds of activities would you want to do with her? Would you go out and have a fun time, or would you stay home and play video games together? Being interesting is about living an interesting life. Living an interesting life is about doing interesting things even if by yourself, and realizing that you can fully enjoy doing things without having to have someone with you. Only then can you truly enjoy being with someone else, because then your not counting on that other person to make your life interesting for you.

cheddarchexmix · 2010-10-26T18:33:55+00:00

You haven't practiced enough. Being a good conversationalist is mostly about keeping the momentum in a conversation, you don't need much interesting to say to do that.

But even math can be made more interesting. Someone says what are you majoring in, you say something like "When I was a kid I always wanted to be a fireman. But when I came here, they didn't have firefighting as a major, so I picked math." Or whatever. Just don't say "mathematics."

Follow this advice: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ckut1/talk_to_everyone/ because it's pure gold and really works. You just need TONS of practice every day until you get good at it.

learningmygame · 2010-10-26T19:59:43+00:00

I'm finishing a doctorate in aero/astro engineering -> Translation: I'm a fucking rocket scientist.

You are only as boring as you allow yourself to be. The "math is hard" comment is a great conversation catalyst, just go with it. I can't count the number of times I've answered the same retarded questions about "spaceships" and "why airplanes fly," but it's a really easy way to be interesting without having to try.

2010-10-26T21:18:28+00:00

Dude, math can be fucking fascinating...it's all about how you frame it and how you get her to relate to it.

A couple things about mathematics that I find interesting:

There are million dollar cash prizes to solve some of the hardest math problems!

Game Theory

Fractals and how they show up in nature My favorite is the TED talk looking at satellite imagery of African villages as fractals (I've spent a lot of time traveling in Africa so I can lead into this naturally.

History and meaning of famous mathematical constants

Now figure out how to make those ideas sexy and easy enough for a layman or laywoman to understand. Use relevant examples (like use people in the bar or her girl friends or something to represent stuff if you can). Don't overwhelm her, just give her a glimpse into why you, and exciting an interesting dude, are studying something like mathematics. And by god, be passionate and enthusiastic.

getyourshineon · 2010-10-27T06:41:05+00:00

Okay, short little anecdote: The fastest guy to ever pick me up (I'm talking a few hours until a number close, then an instant date, then a makeout session - before I'd officially broken up with my boyfriend) was a super nerdy biochem major. I am a poetry major. Nothing about science interests me. But he started telling me about how neurotransmitters are the body's poetry, and I started to melt. I was totally hooked. Instead of letting me believe that science was boring, he taught me otherwise. He also had a shitload of interesting stories, every little observation he made was a neat story because he was so animated!

So, if you are boring, it's because you think you're boring. Sorry. Stop thinking you're boring! And then don't let people believe something that isn't true, just get fired up about it, and teach them about why you're passionate about math.

apester · 2010-10-26T15:21:31+00:00

Actually the less you talk about yourself the better off you will be. Im sure there are some things out there you have an interest in, things like music, movies, television, books, interesting places in the community they may not know about, etc. Most importantly steer the conversation yourself by asking about them and try to show an interest, most people are generally self conscious and worry if they are interesting. Self esteem is a funny thing, where you see yourself coming across as a boring geek, its likely many of the people you talk to actually feel intimidated because well "math is hard" and they may feel a bit small brained in your presence. When you are asked about yourself, try to be a bit light hearted but not necessarily self-depreciating about your major..maybe talk about your future goals, if they make negative comments about math in general don't take it personally just come back with something like "well if you ever need a tutor, im your man".

throwawayrarst · 2010-10-26T17:24:55+00:00

Do interesting things and you'll have interesting stories. The key part is to relate over feelings that she has. How so? Ask her a couple questions about what she likes to do, then try to relate to a feeling that she describes.

Also, stop thinking of yourself as boring. The things that you do may be boring to others, but as long as you're passionate about them it will show. Passion counts a lot.

ThrowawayPUA · 2010-10-27T05:06:42+00:00

You need to work on your identity. Your identity is not "Math Major." Your identity is not your job. Your identity is what you are passionate about. Maybe your identity is as a high stakes poker player. Maybe your identity is as a businessman. Maybe you have other exciting aspects to your life that are more like your core identity than being a math geek. If you don't have a core identity, fueled by something that you are passionate about, for god's sake, get a life.

new_player · 2010-10-27T18:37:13+00:00

Be a tease and talk about situational things. Personally, I think people asking what you do is terribly cliche, and I'll often say that outright, and throw it back in their face with a more interesting question like "what's your favorite type of ice cream". They might laugh at this or start to question how that's any better than "what do you do", and you can make up a story about how ice cream flavour choices are indicative of the type of person you are.

Just tease them.

If you really want to do the math major and they say "oh math is so hard blah blah" say "yeah, most people find that, which is great because then they don't bother to check on what I'm really doing which is drawing out plans for my next bank heist". Shit. Anything. People don't really want to talk about their day to day stuff - it's boring. Sure it gives context but the details are usually not fun, so don't talk about them.

Mouthpiece · 2010-10-28T15:51:17+00:00

Her: "So what do you study?"

You: "I study something that you use every day but no one can completely understand. Everything that's important to you is founded on this field of study. But not only is it practical, it's also beautiful and amazing. For example… think of your phone number, but don't tell me what it is." [then run one of those clever math tricks where you run them through a series of steps and know exactly what the answer will be.]

I just came up with this on the spot. You have time to think about it a little deeper, but no matter what your answer is, it needs to look like this:

"Math" is the wrong answer. You need to convey the mystery, the magic, the wonder of what it is you do all day every day, and why you're passionate about it. Hell, a lot of people hate math, but we all like what math does for us. You need to bottle that and whip it out on command.

Math put men on the moon—it can put you in a girl's pants.

Title	How do I be interesting?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	42
Date	October 26, 2010 3:04 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dwndl/how_do_i_be_interesting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-be-interesting.1312540 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312540

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