Sadly, it happened again last night

Listro · 2010-11-21T19:30:50+00:00

By not caring about the outcome

_stork_ · 2010-11-21T19:37:45+00:00

don't drink.

drinking fucks up your moves. go out and start dancing. go to the middle of the dance floor and start dancing like no-one is watching. have the highest energy level and:

DO NOT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK!

as a result, there will be females. tell a girl next to you to hold on to your drink, tie your shoe (or whatever) thank her and throw her a smile. if you have trouble with the smile, remember that she named her dildo after you and imagine her masturbating with it.

start dancing again. when she comes around to dance with you, enjoy the view of all the girls around you noticing you. take the energy boost that gives you and ride it for all it's worth.

azaaaa · 2010-11-21T19:05:51+00:00

There are different types of approaches to that:

You can work from outside in by working on your stance, facial expression and body language. They will affect your feelings.
Try NLP, Maybe make yourself affirmations, anchor them to a physical signal to get you in state.
A club is just a normal place. Don't get overly excited. There is no need for nervousness. The only important thing is, that you enjoy yourself. Learn to walk before you run.

Mouthpiece · 2010-11-21T20:09:52+00:00

If your confidence is affected by venue, then consider clubs an "advanced" level venue and work your way up to them.

Clubs also present unique challenges that other venues don't, and you need to tweak your game specifially.

But here's the most important tip: don't go to places where you aren't having a good time. If you're bored or frustrated, your game will inevitably suffer.

im_already_naked · 2010-11-21T22:20:57+00:00

People care about how you dance at clubs?

i've been dancing like a drunk cunt for years and nobody has ever gave a fuck

ThrowawayPUA · 2010-11-21T21:24:56+00:00

The way to eliminate a lack of confidence in approaching women is to approach women. Approach them constantly, over and over. Don't give a damn about the end results. Sure, you'll get blown out of the set over and over. And in the process, you'll learn about how to open sets, and about how to avoid getting blown out of sets. After a hundred or so approaches and openers, you will just not care about rejection, it will have happened so many times, it will become insignificant.

Let me give you a free opener, it works on anyone. I think this is from RooshV, although I thought of it independently before I read his book. Go up to a set that is laughing and high energy, open thusly: "You guys are having more fun than anyone here!" Do that with slightly higher energy than the set has. Maybe even go for a high five. You have opened the set.

Now here's the RooshV version. Go find the lowest energy, most mopey and morose set. Open them ironically with the same phrase, with only slightly more than average enthusiasm and energy. Then laugh. You have opened the set.

This is the most fundamental observational opener. It works on anyone. All you have to do is observe the set briefly and decide what energy level is suitable. Are you joining a high energy set? Or are you trying to perk up a low energy, listless set?

sockthepuppetry · 2010-11-21T21:35:16+00:00

Fuck the dance floor. It's worthless on approaches. Go out and dance with your friends because you want to have fun, but approaching on the dance floor is like trying to drink water by standing in a hurricane.

Note: I am your height and feel incredibly profiled on the dance floor where the only they can notice about you is the vague outline of your figure. Put me in ANY situation except one where conversation is essentially impossible.

Mat_Cauthon · 2010-11-21T19:03:19+00:00

How did you overcome your lack of confidence?

Alcohol. It is an effective crutch to start with IMO, as unpopular as that might be to say. Once I had some experience under my wings drunk, I realized anything I can do drunk I can certainly do sober.

ThreeLeftFeet · 2010-11-21T22:21:36+00:00

This might be a little cheesy, but playing that Dance Central game for the xbox Kinect actually might help to get you to a competent level of dancing, and in the privacy of your own home, heh. It really actually makes you act out relatively normal, contemporary dance moves with current music. It's not stomping on squares to j-pop like DDR. The moves are probably often at bit flamboyant for a dance floor, but I'm sure you can use the game to get yourself used to moving your body to the beat, plus learn a few little flourishes and moves that would work pretty well.

Also, I would recommend having a few drinks to lose some inhibitions (or if you have another good way, do that). Watch what other guys are doing and mimic it a bit. Once you get comfortable, you won't need to drink beforehand. I'm currently getting over a similar dancing hurdle, and last night I had a few drinks and finally started actually having fun and dancing with my friends. I wasn't trying to pick up on anyone - just taking a step towards being looser and having fun dancing. It was the first time I had fun in a situation where dancing was involved. A year ago, it would have been my nightmare and I would have been kinda awkwardly standing in the corner with my drink.

neur0 · 2010-11-21T23:01:35+00:00

By playing at your strengths in another venue

Shinks7er · 2010-11-21T23:22:16+00:00

Take some online dance lessons from youtube (et al.), practice with some songs on your playlist, then proceed to dance better than 95 percent of the people at the club.

Also, alcohol, while a killer of thousands of people in the US annually, is still really fun to drink and helps the most.

MagicalMisfit · 2010-11-22T02:22:02+00:00

Why don't you just take dancing classes if it's that bad? That's definitely a confidence boost and I'm sure you'll even learn to out-dance future dance partners.

I was an awful dancer and actually ended up talking to a girl that dances professionally. Eventually, she asked me to dance and I told her I'd totally show her up on the dance floor (all the while knowing I was just about to make an absolute fool of myself). She found it hilarious and ended up teaching me some basic dance floor maneuvers. And yes, I sealed the deal at the end of the night.

What I think helped me was that I maintained a confident frame even though I knew I was in over my head. I didn't get embarrassed. I just decided to go with the flow and see where the night took me.

RedErin · 2010-11-22T15:30:52+00:00

Here you go. Best dancing advice I've ever seen.

AdmanSD · 2010-11-21T19:51:35+00:00

Three little letters: xTc It gets you moving, lets out your inner dancer, esp. in places with music at high volume and strobe lights. You also won't give a fuck and will maintain a high energy level. Just don't drink alcohol. Haha, of course I'm completely kidding.... or am I? (no I'm not)

Title	Sadly, it happened again last night
Author	ThreeLeftFeet
Upvotes	1
Comments	36
Date	November 21, 2010 6:55 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e9k1q/sadly_it_happened_again_last_night/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/sadly-it-happened-again-last-night.1313134 https://theredarchive.com/post/1313134

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