Self Deprecating Humor

intjpua · 2010-11-27T20:12:22+00:00

I think self-deprecation should only happen in areas where you know the girl has a very high opinion of you.

I make jokes about my intelligence all the time with girls who know a few things about me (like my work history and such), because I'm well above average intelligence, and they may even be intimidated by it. It's an area where girls try to qualify themselves to me, so I know it's an area that's safe to poke fun at myself about.

I'll also make self-deprecating jokes about my living situation, which is interesting to say the least (I live extremely minimally and have a very small living space), but it's also intimidating because I move constantly and have lived in some pretty exotic places. So, when I say something deprecating about my tiny place, it's wrapped up in the fact that I am wealthy enough to live anywhere I want and have the freedom to move anytime I want. I joke about it because girls are often unable to imagine how someone could live the way I live.

I also make self-deprecating jokes about not being cool or having bad luck with women; which is probably dangerous territory, but I only do it when it's become apparent I'm a bit of a player. Like she knows some of the girls I've dated.

In short, I think it depends on the situation, but I'm betting that self-deprecation is happening too much in your current game. It shouldn't happen often, and if it's your goto humor path, you should excise it for a while so you can re-calibrate.

Mat_Cauthon · 2010-11-27T19:14:32+00:00

Don’t take yourself too seriously. A self-deprecating wit, used in moderation, can actually convey high status and high value. If someone makes a friendly joke at your expense that others are also laughing at, laugh with them

-Magic Bullets

I think in moderation at the right time self deprecating humor is alright.

Who doesn't make fun of themselves every now and then? Even super alpha celebrities and big shots do. It's almost unnatural not to.

With that said, people just starting pickup might forget the "in moderation" part and screw things up. Perhaps self-deprecating humor is and advanced tactic. I personally avoid it most of the time because I still don't know the best times to employ it.

UmeaHC · 2010-11-27T17:49:25+00:00

I used to do this alot, more than I care to remember. I thought I was making the conversation more fun.

I was wrong. When I look back at these interactions, I remembered that NONE of them evolved into anything good, or worthy of my time.

Not only is it a DLV, by attempting to get people to laugh all the time, you will become the clown. Also something you do not want, or need.

You can be funny without putting yourself down. Work on it.

DJ_Deathflea · 2010-11-27T22:33:34+00:00

This is like cologne: Too much us far worse than none, but if you are going to use it, make sure it the brand that works for you.

Barney21 · 2010-11-28T03:01:02+00:00

I'm no expert, but from my experience, self-deprecating humor is fine in moderation like others have said in this thread. Personally, I only like to jab at myself once or twice if the girl is obviously shy or nervous to get them laughing and more relaxed with me.

What I do is ask if she's nervous/shy. If she says yes, I get serious and say "if it helps...you can imagine me in a chicken suit" and smile. Then maybe follow up with, "..or you can always do the classic: imagining me in my underwear..."

However, I'd never joke about having AFC traits (like talking about how horrible/nervous you were with girls). Also, I often like to turn the joke into a DHV (ex: I'd joke about how nerdy/geeky/dorky I can be, then follow up with how I do what I like, and screw what other people think, geeks are awesome/interesting for so many reasons, etc.).

2010-11-28T00:44:40+00:00

It's not always a DLV, although it often is. Here's a good episode of Pickup Podcast where in the second half they explain when self-dep humour is a DHV and when it's a DLV.

The podcast itself is the best source for inner game tips I know, and I'm constantly linking to it on Seddit to answer people's questions.

2010-11-29T05:17:33+00:00

I dunno. I like to throw in a ridiculously over the top bit about having a comically small penis sometimes. Thinking about it, I'm having trouble finding a downside to the routine. It's quite obvious I'm being over-the-top sarcastic but does plant some curiosity about how big my penis really is. IMO anything that gets a girl thinking about your dick is a good thing, no?

dwinian · 2010-12-07T00:08:09+00:00

Bad: "I'm a nerd"

Good:"I enjoy doing chemistry in my spare time, cause I'm just that cool" (Said with sarcasm/clear mock seriousness)

cheddarchexmix · 2010-11-27T18:26:02+00:00

I used to do this a lot. It's possible to do self-dep humor that isn't DLV but I found the best policy was just to way cut down self-deprecation. Now I have a lot more humor that is the opposite of self-deprecating, self-pedestalling perhaps? :) Like constantly referring to myself as a super-genius, hotter than George Clooney, saying things like "well as a former NFL all-star", etc. It gets good laughs and is a DHV even though it's ridiculous.

ThrowawayPUA · 2010-11-27T16:31:54+00:00

No. Totally eliminate self-deprecating humor. It is always a DLV. It never achieves any of your conversational goals. Essentially, you're negging yourself.

screwthat4u · 2010-11-27T18:20:07+00:00

It works because it tells other people you are below them.

Title	Self Deprecating Humor
Author	rendezvoodoo
Upvotes	3
Comments	18
Date	November 27, 2010 2:26 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ech4m/self_deprecating_humor/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/self-deprecating-humor.1313249 https://theredarchive.com/post/1313249

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