This is a long one, but I wanted to be a bit more detailed.

Hanging out at a popular lounge, I’m about to leave and run into some old friends outside (Girls A 7.6, D 6.3, E 5.0) + one girl I don’t know (Girl B, HB7.8). I try to play a korean drinking game called “ABC” with D and E but they don’t know it. I tell them they suck, and turn to A and B, who know it.

We play it for a bit and A introduces us. My friends are calling me to leave so I mishear her name, and while body-rocking out of the group I say “bellina? Well that’s what I heard so I’m calling you that” and give her a high five before I bolt (love doing the wrong name thing, gives me a good excuse to re-engage for the rest of the night). I think I flustered her a bit, which means I set my frame well and she’s going to be asking her friend about me.

Get to the club, and I’m flirting with a girl I’ve met before all night (Girl C, 7.2). Playing drinking games, doing the lingering hand thing while talking, saying people in greek life are the wackest (she’s in a sorority, I’m in her brother fraternity). She leans over a few people to ask me to get her a vodka, but I play the “oh you’re getting me a drink??? Sweet!” and pull her to the bar. We order 2 shots, 2 drinks, and when she asks again who’s paying for what (trying to get me to be “nice” and pick it all up. ha, nope), I tell her the 2 shots are hers.

B’s in our overall group as well, but I pay more attention to A, D, and E…I think at one point I talked to D for a good 10 minutes and left B standing there waiting for her friend.

Eventually C walks up to me and I put my arm around her waist as she leans into my ear to tell me she’s leaving. I say “okay” and motion for her to wait a sec. Without saying a word, I slowly put my glass down on the table, reach in my pocket for my phone and give it to her. She punches her number in while leaning into my arm, hands it back, says bye, and gives me a lingering hug with the slow hand thing down my back. Money, I’m definitely calling her out again.

Speaking of that, another thing that I’ve noticed myself doing when I’m solidly in state is doing things slower. Talking slower, moving slower. I invited Girl C and her friends out for a smoke, but had to go get a pack. It was freezing out and I invited them to come along, but they wanted to stay in the smoking area. I shrugged, and leisurely walked to the deli next door. They wanna wait in the cold? Not my problem - I’m not going to run there and back as fast as possible to give them stoges like they’re doing me a favor. As a reward for waiting for me, I gave them my jacket to share.

When I get the digits, I take out my phone slowly instead of omgshesaidyes and grappling it out of my pocket before she can run away. When I talk to a girl that’s sitting while I’m standing, I’ll talk to her for a bit to decide if she’s interesting enough to sit down for, then do it relatively slowly while she waits for a second or two. It’s all about the little things that set your frame.

I go outside and run into B; she’s getting hit on by my friend. I ignore them but he calls at me:

Him: solocup! Oh man this girl just broke my heart….. she told me she has a boyfriend

I say back over my shoulder:

Me: foreal? That sucks man.

They talk a bit more and he leaves - I don’t notice at first but she’s kind of standing there while I lean against the fence answering a text

Her: solocup!

I look up: hm?

She’s walking toward me and I reflexively put out my hand for her to take.

Her: Omg I feel bad I just lied to your friend… I don’t have a boyfriend

She takes my hand and lingers on it

Me: No shit! That’s messed up…I’m gonna tell him

I start taking out my phone, she tightens her grip and pulls me toward her…she starts doing the Korean whiney puppy voice

Her: Noo!!

I laugh.

Me: I refuse to let girls play these games with my friends!

And she’s grabbing my hands/phone trying to prevent me from texting while I play keepaway. We’re laughing when A comes out too and joins us. We all banter a bit, I invite them to come meet my friends at karaoke, but they want to go home. I say okay and then to A:

Me: Oh, I don’t think I have your number.

B: Don’t give it to him!!

And puts her hand over mine that was holding the phone. I laugh and tell her to stop being so difficult….then possibly my most money line of the night:

Me: Don’t worry, you’re giving me your number too.

Girl A laughed while punching in her number and called me a player; B just kind of stopped talking and waited for me to hand my phone over. Not sure if this means anything but when I did, she kind of turned away from us to put her number in while I chatted with her friend - like she was half-embarrassed she was giving it to me after I said that. Nice.

I texted her a bit after they left: “yo who was that cute guy you were talking to? He’s way out of your league.”

She responded: “cute? don’t think so. His name is [embarassing nickname she made for me too] and he’s a friendly dork who likes to play ABC with strangers :)”

Adorable.

Head to a karaoke bar and meet up with some friends…..an 8.8 (Girl F) who looked like she knew she was hot in the elevator was complaining about her gloves not working with her touch screen phone, so I asked her what phone she had. There was a split second when she looked at me to size me up, and I held solid eye contact. We talked for a bit about her phone in a packed, quiet elevator full of her friends + me. A little bit nerve-wracking but I made it. Later I got introduced to them, and asked her if they were at [club] before that.

Me: "So packed, right?"

Her: "Yeah, kinda."

Waited half a second to see if she'd say anything else, and when she didn't: eh, boring. Walked away into a karaoke room and saw my one friend E – natural, girls fawning over him every time I see him, also a great guy – with a solid HB9 and went to say hi. I had met her at the club and she forgot my name, so I tease her and give her one letter at a time until she guesses it. At one point I gave her 3 out of 5 letters of my name (2 possibilities, and she guessed the other one), so I’m laughing at her while she’s struggling. Give her a high five when she guesses it.

I don’t know if it was my non-chalantness from successfully #-closing before and purposely not flirting with her since she was my friend’s piece for the night, but I swear at some points she was gaming me. We talked for a while, I asked her “so what’s your story?” and she hooked immediately, asking “ok, past, present, or future?” I laughed and said let’s start with present…she told me what she did (event planning) and I ribbed her for being a stereotypical marketing/HR girl. She asked about me and when I told her I was in finance she made fun of me for being like every other asian guy in the city.

When there was a lull while I watched people sing, she picked up the convo again to tell me about her future. She kept saying things like “You’re witty/funny/quick, I like that”, to which I just laughed and kept talking about what we were talking about.

Girl F came in and sat down at some point and the whole time we were talking, I noticed her glancing at me at least 3-4 times from across the room. Not sure if it was attraction or not but regardless, attitude of abundance is money.

Both these girls were most definitely better looking than me but I swear, frame and social proof are magic. Cuties are a dime a dozen and I chill with a lot, why are you better than the rest of them?

Also, I read something on seddit recently by chumpta that’s stayed with me and makes me feel better when I try something that doesn’t hook.

well you could have gone further, but they say seduction is like an old school arcade game. you need to get so good at level 1 that you almost never die, then move to level 2 and do the same thing. you'll die a shit ton of times but you will play levels 1-2, 1-3, 1-4, 1-5 each time, so that your level 1 skills never get rusty. so you aced level 1 and fell down a nasty pit in level 2. so what, infinite lives.

A couple months ago while in a rut I was constantly in my head and having trouble even keeping a girl in a convo, much less pulling the number. Recently, I’ve been asking myself if I even want her number and if I do, I get it. Still working on Day 2’s and closing further with some success, but improving.