How to turn off brain chatter.

Honest_commenter · 2011-02-20T15:42:45+00:00

I imagine that the chatter is mainly your brain being negative, making you question yourself etc? Normally you would want to challenge those thoughts (e.g. she will reject me. So what?) and as hard as it may be just force yourself to go against those thoughts and observe how the worst case scenario never happens and enjoy how most of the time goes actually very well. Eventually the doubts wear out against all the evidence that nothing bad will happen.

Something that can always be used for relaxation (very common for people with social anxiety) is to use diaphragmatic breathing or pursed lip breathing.

Karma_Be_Damned · 2011-02-20T16:30:08+00:00

Only be your eyes.

Leave your brain when you are out living, but go back into your brain when you need to.

RobotGymnast · 2011-02-20T20:12:55+00:00

What I've found is that the trick isn't to turn off brain chatter, but rather to act in spite of it. This is much more powerful, because it means you're able to go against your gut when you know it's being stupid. It gets easier every time.

TheLotusEater · 2011-02-20T15:09:39+00:00

Try focusing on the things you're saying to yourself. After every negative thought process, force yourself to say inside your head something affirming or contrary to the negative thought.

This has worked for me in the past... It feel phony and forced at first when you to yourself, "nah I'm hot and everyone's interested in what I have to say" but it becomes second nature. Later, you'll find that you don't mind the chatter so much because it's generally positive.

takfam · 2011-02-20T19:06:54+00:00

Problem is I can't turn it off on command. Not effectively anyway.

Quick: What is the next thought that's going to pop into your head???

Stop reading and answer the question: What is the next thought that is going to pop into your head.

...Did you feel that moment of hesitation? Where your mind was searching itself? That's what you want to feel. In that moment, you can stop thinking and act.

It's a bit crunchy groove metaphysics stuff but you might want to read "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Like I said, very metaphysical, but there are plenty of mental exercises you can take from it that can help you stop thinking and start acting.

subheight640 · 2011-02-20T17:47:26+00:00

Try some LSD. It's a drug about psychological exploration.

msmiitz · 2011-02-20T18:24:05+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. And once it begins to chat it begins to loop on itself, making it very difficult to get away from.
The key is to become aware that you're having brain chatter, listen to it objectively, and be very skeptical of its authenticity. Be stubborn with yourself; don't take any of your own shit. Essentially, tell yourself that your thoughts are YOUR bitch. Hope this helps.

Thoughts make wonderful slaves but terrible masters.

Sublomino · 2011-02-20T18:55:43+00:00

Meditation is a great start but you have to continue with it for some time. It's been proven to re-wire your brain to some extent, so stick with it if you can.

A great thing to try to get at this directly is the CBT daily mood log technique. It works by recording your emotions and automatic thoughts to a particular stimulus, and then identifying the cognitive distortions in what you say to yourself. Then you write out more rational, realistic responses to your thoughts. There is a list of cognitive distortions, such as overgeneralization, mind-reading, fortune telling, discounting the positive, labeling, blaming, personalization, and all-or-nothing thinking. The key is to identify the distortions in your automatic thoughts, because usually they are giving you a distorted and inaccurate perception of reality. When you clear that up you usually feel much better and the automatic thoughts aren't bothersome anymore.

You can find this exercise in the books on CBT by David burns, such as the feeling good handbook, or google it.

Karma_Be_Damned · 2011-02-20T20:53:29+00:00

Meditation isn't really a simple way of turning off brain chatter immediately. It clears your mind, like waking up from a black out with no hangover when you slept like a baby. that refreshed feeling, you know what I'm talking about? It might have more to do with acid then alcohol, idk if you take those kinds of drugs but my point is it quiets your mind a little bit at a time. For lasting effects it'll take weeks of routine meditation but after that point the benifits come in leaps and bounds.

Perhaps add yoga beforehand and/or instead of focusing on breathing drop "I am" repitively and aimlessly, no rules, just let "I am" be your only thought at whatever pace feels right. I know this isn't exactly what you were asking about but meditation is infinitely useful in inner game and given time you'll slowly grow into the results you're looking for. I hope you won't give up on it because you're not feeling the changes your mind is going through at the moment. It's like developing muscle, it takes time but is well mother fucking worth it, Mate.

brassboydaydreamin · 2011-02-20T23:17:29+00:00

Todd Kashdan's Curious presents a great mindset. Apologies for the messed up spacing here:

Curiosity is different than other ways of being fulfilled in that it’s about appreciating and seeking out the new. It’s about being flexible, recognizing the novelty and freshness of the familiar. Instead of trying desperately to explain and control our world, as a curious explorer we embrace uncertainty. Instead of trying to be certain and confident, we see our lives as an enjoyable quest to discover, learn, and grow. There is nothing to solve, there is no battle waged within us to avoid the tension of being unsure. We don’t take positive events for granted, we investigate and explore them further. Recent scientific findings show that when we are open to new experiences, when we are flexible in how we approach people and tasks, when we relish how the unknown far outweighs what we know, positive events linger longer and we extract more pleasure and meaning from our world.

But curiosity is not just an effortless and spontaneous experience. It is an intense motivation woven into the basic fabric of our personalities. All of us, to varying degrees, are driven to seek out new and uncertain experiences. Although you might believe that certainty and control over your circumstances brings you pleasure, it is often uncertainty and challenge that actually bring you the most profound and longest-lasting benefits. Curiosity is about recognizing and reaping the rewards of embracing the uncertain, the unknown, and the new. There is a simple story line for how curiosity is the engine of growth. By being curious, we explore. By exploring, we discover. When this is satisfying, we are more likely to repeat it. By repeating it, we develop competence and mastery. By developing competence and mastery, our knowledge and skills grow. As our knowledge and skills grow, we stretch and expand who we are and what our life is about. By dealing with novelty, we become more experienced and intelligent, and infuse our lives with meaning.

On the surface, curiosity and the need to be certain are both about gathering information and reflecting on experiences. Dig deeper and you discover some important differences in how we relate to our world, other people, and ourselves. When we are curious, we are open to expanding ourselves and to do so, we explore. When we seek certainty, we are looking for finality. We are looking to close the search process sooner rather than later so we can feel confident that we know what to do and how to act. To do so, we interrogate without the openness and awareness that characterizes the curious explorer. We can see the difference in the contrasts below: Curiosity creates possibilities; the need for certainty narrows them. Curiosity creates energy; the need for certainty depletes. Curiosity results in exploration; the need for certainty creates closure. Curiosity creates movement; the need for certainty is about replaying events. Curiosity creates relationships; the need for certainty creates defensiveness. Curiosity is about discovery; the need for certainty is about being right. Our environment often pushes us toward a narrow and certain view, say in the situation of excessive noise (where we can’t think clearly) or time pressure (where we are overly focused on finishing rather than doing well). In these overstimulating environments we are closed off, trying to survive instead of thrive.

We can add actual play and playfulness to almost any task. This aspect of triggering interest was captured wonderfully in a story on National Public Radio about an assembly line worker in a potato chip factory whose job was to ensure that chips rolling down the conveyer belt were uniform and aesthetically pleasing before being bagged. Mishaps were to be removed. He didn’t take the job because of the excitement. He took this dreary job because money was tight and he needed the work. What intrigued me was that he developed a quirky game that made the job more interesting. He searched for

potato chips resembling famous people and kept a collection. Constantly scanning odd and bizarre shapes for celebrity resemblances, the day moved quickly and he was incredibly efficient at catching mishaps.

The important point is that we work harder and longer and are more committed and responsible when we are in a good mood. As long as the task gets done, be open to innovative ideas for how it can be accomplished. The opposite happens when we are uninterested and disengaged. If you find yourself in an unsatisfying situation that you have to get done, play isn’t just going to feel good, it’s going to make you better at whatever you are doing.

There are three steps to applying the lessons of this experiment to our regular lives.

Very simply, choose something that is unappealing to you. It could be listening to speed metal or free jazz, going to a wine tasting event, or reading Victorian poetry.
Take part in the activity, but instead of doing it as is, search for any three novel or unique things about it.
Write down or talk about what you discovered with someone else. Like the research participants, you’ll find you carry this open minded interest with you in subsequent days and weeks.

This same little experiment can be applied to any activity in your life. Consider the list of low interest but necessary activities in your typical day. If you are a parent, it might be cooking meals for ungrateful two year olds or going over nightly homework. At work, it might be mindless data entry or administrative tasks. Living with your romantic partner, it might be figuring out a way to cut expenses from that dreaded monthly budget or planning visits with each other’s least favorite relatives.

Instead of entering with a closed mind and chalking up events as wasted time before they happen, we can create a little breathing room. If the activity is not part of your ordinary routine, ask yourself what can you find that is novel and unique about this particular activity before stepping in? What can you find once you are immersed? If the activity is part of your regular routine, what is different about it this time, right now, compared to the past?

Appreciate and search for more than what you already know, already assume, and already expect to happen. I am talking about a mindset of expecting there to be things you don’t know and realizing that this does not mean you are vulnerable or unintelligent because you can’t predict what is going to happen. Rather, it means there are opportunities for learning, discovering, and growing. Another simple strategy is to remember to avoid early committal to ideas and judgments. Hold on to the mantra that there is always another way at looking at things, and there is probably something you are paying too much attention to and something interesting that you are ignoring or missing. Keep this in mind every time you make judgments about yourself, other people, tasks, the world, the past, the present, and the future. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if this approach were part of the training for doctors making diagnoses, researchers trying to make sense of the world, journalists reporting news stories, businesspeople working on projects, and politicians making decisions? When we are open to new possibilities, we find them. Be open and skeptical of everything.

There's also some great stuff in there applicable to approach anxiety, but it's generally an awesome book.

perronec · 2011-02-20T13:07:44+00:00

Alcohol.

Just not too much.

Title	How to turn off brain chatter.
Author	perronec
Upvotes	13
Comments	25
Date	February 20, 2011 12:10 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/foyey/how_to_turn_off_brain_chatter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-turn-off-brain-chatter.1315742 https://theredarchive.com/post/1315742

Comments