Nightclubs are beyond me.

frogma · 2011-03-19T20:43:47+00:00

Clubs (actually I haven't been to many clubs, but packed bars with dance floors are essentially the same) are the opposite for me. I flourish in them. The point isn't really to get to know a girl (unless it's quiet enough for that) but you can still get a pretty good idea of her personality just by being around her. I don't go for numbers, I go for makeouts and sex. Numbers hardly ever mean shit in a club- they were out to party, you were out to party, you happened to dance with them and maybe talk for 10 minutes- the chance they give a shit about you the next day is minuscule.

You don't need to go to clubs, but if you do (and I recommend it), you just have to become more comfortable with the whole environment. Psych yourself up beforehand if you need to. When I roll into a place, it's usually with a group- being by yourself is fine too, but the group helps me get in-state. You're out to have a good time, not to sit and sulk in the corner- you can be doing that by yourself at home.

There's various ways to initiate dancing- I prefer the "creepy" way: go up to the girl and start grinding. If you're cool and confident, it tends to work out. Other guys like to ask/tell the girl to dance, and some guys like to take a girl from the bar over to the dance floor- usually by saying something like "Let's dance," and leading her there (while holding her hand).

Essentially, the goal is to dance for a bit, maybe make out for a bit (for me this is always true- but other guys prefer to build the sexual tension by not kissing). Then you figure out your logistics (hopefully pre-planned) and you bounce with her. There's not a whole lot you can find out about her in such a short time- you're really just looking to find out how good she is in bed. Then, if you want, you can get to know her better after-the-fact.

But if clubs don't work for you, you don't have to go to em. I'd still recommend bars- cool college bars as opposed to lame dive bars. Bars and clubs I think will always be the easiest place to score- because it's so easy to build attraction and you don't really have to try as hard. When you're talking more, in a quieter environment- like in a normal "date" situation, the fact is you're more likely to fuck something up.

metal_rings · 2011-03-19T21:14:59+00:00

As a girl, I just like to go and get out my sexual frustration by dancing my fucking ass off on the dance floor, and I'm not really interested in meeting you and getting to know you. I just want to unwind at the end of the week, and if it happens to be with you and we have a great time, that's really awesome, but nothing special.

Thomsenite · 2011-03-19T22:56:51+00:00

Try bars (not clubs) where you can talk to the other person or online dating.

2011-03-20T01:14:05+00:00

Clubs aren't about getting to know people, everybody is just out to get wild and have fun. Having a good time in a club is directly related to how much confidence you have. What connections you do make is done through body language.

cadgbp · 2011-03-19T20:28:45+00:00

Mostly girls are at clubs to get laid. Unless you fall upon a special girl, which could happen, mostly I don't believe that is the point. I wouldn't really want to date a girl who dresses skanky to have a bf. Of course, a 1 night stand is a different story.

Where I live, we have something similar to pub crawling, but for clubs. This is a great way to pick up chicks. As you'll be bouncing from place to place, you'll have the opportunity to become friendly with the females doing the same circuit. Each time you enter a new club, you'll have drinks together, talk lightly. Then, on your way to the next club, chat with other girls. I never talk to the same ones, this way you get to know the highest volume and a selection happens automatically.

Finally, towards the final clubs of the evening, start dancing with the girl of your choice. You'll already have the introductions, names, interests out of the way, which in my experience, these are things girls enjoy discussing before getting down to business.

I've done this twice at club crawls, once a pub crawl. Worked each time. I am not a super model by a long shot, just a regular, 193cm tall, guy.

Try it out.

sketch666 · 2011-03-19T21:49:35+00:00

As a female, I just want to go out and dance. Me and my girls, we just dance! And if a dick falls in us while we're doing it, who cares? You ain't getting a second chance

revolved · 2011-03-19T20:51:17+00:00

A lot of good advice already. I love dance floor game. All body language and mindset. It seems like you have given up on yourself already in the club arena, why do you think that is? YOU CAN DO ANYTHING IF YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT. If you do not address your limitations you will encounter them again and again.

There's usually a point when you have been dancing with a girl for long enough that a crap song comes on. At that point it's "let's get a drink" or "let's sit down for a minute". Then it's all comfort and make-outs. Don't really see what the problem is here beyond you not being comfortable.

cbraga · 2011-03-19T21:07:58+00:00

There are the sardine can clubs with the loud music in total darkness and there are clubs a bit less loud and better lit and not so crowded that you can actually see who you're talking to. Maybe you've been going to the wrong type.

sri745 · 2011-03-19T20:20:39+00:00

Check this out:

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/g6ohz/a_little_piece_of_clubbing_advice/

on_the_dl · 2011-03-20T12:51:04+00:00

she meets a dude at a club - why would she get to want to know him?

Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them.

Title	Nightclubs are beyond me.
Author	narett
Upvotes	32
Comments	47
Date	March 19, 2011 8:06 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/g77k1/nightclubs_are_beyond_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/nightclubs-are-beyond-me.1316530 https://theredarchive.com/post/1316530

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