So I've never posted one of these, not under my normal account nor this one. I figured I should actually contribute a bit more here, so here goes.

I was invited to a pool party by a good friend of mine. When summer kicks off he throws one every month or so, and they're always a blast. Good crowd, lots of girls, booze, bbq, and a ton of fun. This time, unfortunately, I was working until 9 or so at night, so I figured I wasn't going to make it. I called him when I got off work to see how it went and what he was up to for the evening, and surprisingly he said it was still going. I threw on some board shorts and headed right over.

He hangs with a different crowd than myself, which I'm usually excited about because it means I get to meet new people, and this night was no different. I walk in to the backyard and there are about 20-25 people there, and I knew about 3-4 of them besides my buddy. As soon as I walk in he runs over to me, gives me a hug, and shoves a beer in my face. A bit of social proof never hurt anyone.

Now, since I didn't think this party would still be rocking, I had already made plans with a girl I've been seeing for about an hour later, so I couldn't stay long and knew if I wanted to close anyone in any way, I'd have to move fast. Really fast.

I make my rounds saying hello to the few I do know, catching up a bit and enjoying my beverage. This ate up about a half hour of my time. Long story short, I eventually end up standing next to the hot tub talking to a couple I remembered from a party a few months ago, and look down to see this HB8 sitting there by herself staring up at us as I tell a story involving sex toys and a client up mine that always makes people laugh. I make a comment to bring her in to the conversation and we start chatting. The couple I was talking to takes their leave, so I look at HB8 and ask her one of my favorite openers:

"So who are you and why don't I know you?"

Something about this line is so direct and slightly jarring that I find it tends to shake girls up a little bit. I'm not sure what it is about it but I've always received positive reactions from it.

She laughs and tells me her name, asks me mine, and tells me I need to get in the jacuzzi with her because she hates having to stare up at me. I oblige and hop in.

"So what's your story?" I ask. Again, a simple, direct question that tends to get a myriad of answers. I've gotten everything from quizzical looks, to laughs, to terse answers about where someone's from and what they do. But it always elicits some kind of answer and reaction. She laughs and tells me she has too many to choose from, so I tell her to start with the most interesting one and that it better be good or I'm getting out of the tub.

She picks one and starts talking. As soon as she's done I steer the conversation towards sex. I tend to do this as fast as I can when I'm one on one with a girl, mostly because I want them to associate the thought of sex with me. Mind you, this is no more than five minutes in to meeting this girl.

We continue on and I disqualify myself, telling her I've got a small wiener, I'm bad in bed, and I haven't had sex for 3 years. She's cracking up and telling me how sad that is. Like usual, she's not sure if I'm serious or not, but I can tell she wants to know more. I tell her I'm setting the bar incredibly low by telling her I have a 3 inch penis so when I do sleep with her, she'll be thrilled that it's a full 4.5 inches. She cracks up again, pushes my shoulder a bit, and tells me I'm hilarious. We talk a bit more and I realize I need to get going. So I go grab my phone and say

"Listen, I've got to get going, but you're going to give me your number and we're going to hang out later next week."

She replies, "I love how you don't even ask, you just tell me."

As I enter her number in to my phone I tell her I need her last name too, because I'm totally weird about how numbers go in my phone (which is the truth), and so that I can facebook stalk her as well (joke).

She laughs and tells me there's no way that I'll be able to find her on the book as her profile is totally locked down and un-searchable. I look at her and tell her that sounds like a bet, and she responds that it is. I tell her if I do find her on there, she's buying the first two rounds when we go out next week, and if I can't, they're on me. She laughs and agrees. I save her number, and get out of there. Total time from hopping in the tub to leaving: no more than 15 minutes.

I get home later that evening, hunt her down on the book, and send a friend request with a message saying something about how it looks like she owes me a few drinks. The next day I wake up to find a post on my wall asking when we can settle our bet.

At this point, I'm fairly certain this one is in the bag. All I have to do is not fuck it up when we go out, and since I tend to be way stronger one on one than in groups (the social circle I tend to hang out in most is quite literally all naturals, and I used to be a shy, socially inept recluse), I think I should be fine.

tl;dr: Met girl, didn't have much time, #closed in under 15 minutes.