A Sunday Reflection Thread: What did you learn this week?

whalesalad · 2012-03-18T20:51:54+00:00

1) Don't stop opening.

Open, open, open. I'm alone in Sweden right now. I've been here for 3 weeks, one week left. I am here visiting a friend, but he's not with me 24x7. I've been opening everything that moves. "Warming up" with a set, even if they're unattractive, is fun and really works. Also, I'm a firm believer of "being in state" and if you keep talking to people and moving around, pulling people in, etc... it's gonna elevate you to a higher level of state. We've all been there a few times, where you're having that out of body experience. Things seem like they're on autopilot and you're almost watching yourself and the scene from a third person view. Things are flowing, working, and it feels effortless and fucking amazing. Nothing is worse than being that dude in the corner who is not having a good time. I'm finding myself more and more able to get into this mindset now. It's like one of the best drugs on the planet.

2) KINO

Start slow and just build up. Tease a girl in a set and push her away. Pull her back in with your arm around her and lean in close, whisper that you're just playing around or something. Just show her you're playful and fun, and involve touching, and it will elevate itself naturally. You start slow and ramp up, it's completely natural. This has become so apparent to me now, but it makes perfect sense. As soon as you're comfortable touching them and it's happening more and more, next thing you know your tongue is in her throat.

3) Change it up, and be spontaneous

"Oh there's a dancefloor upstairs?! I had no idea! Let's check it out!" grab her hand and go. Pull her around. Drag her through the club. Take her outside. Drag her to another venue. Be the man and mix things up.

4) Don't be afraid to go solo!

I was worried when I first got here that I'd be fucked at a club by myself. I'm typically a more introverted person. But, I said to myself, "What the fuck? I just quit my nice job, got a passport, and jumped a plane to SWEDEN. I'm surrounded by some of the hottest babes in the world and i'm the fucking MAN" Now I have a nice small circle of friends here and am on VIP lists left and right. This goes back to the first point about open open open. I was worried about not having a "safety net" or "home base" to return to if I didn't succeed with a set. It doesn't matter though, and sometimes that can even get in the way of things. Do not be afraid to just talk to people and open! If you fuck up with one group, grab a drink and wander somewhere else. Take a piss, clear your head, whatever, and go at it again.

Finally... don't be hard on yourself.

A week ago, I had been going at this for 2 weeks. Going out 3-4 times a week and really trying hard to get some delicious Swedish pussy. I'll be honest, haven't fucked anyone yet but I've had lots of fun and made out with a lotta pretty ladies. Obviously I needed to improve. I was frustrated and driving myself insane.

However, I realized that every time I go out I reflect on one or two things, change, and then do that better the next time. It's an incremental thing. Someone else here said not too long ago that you don't throw Calculus at a 5th grader. It's true. You work on what you suck at, get better, and keep going. It will piece itself together and all make sense in the end. Now that I've focused less on beating myself up or feeling like an idiot for drinking too much or whatever... I am more relaxed and try and do things in a more scientific manner.

So don't get discouraged. Had a shitty night? It's okay. Look at what you did wrong, ditch them. Look at the things you did right, improve on those and make them part of your foundation for the next night.

And try to remember that it's all about having fun, projecting higher value, OFFERING value, etc... Women are insane and beautiful creatures. Go out there and enjoy them without abusing them. They love to fuck and have a good time just as much as we do.

Faith_No_Moar · 2012-03-18T21:17:20+00:00

I learned two things

First, I tested a fun kino trick : Was talking to a shy girl. We had a little kino, but she was not very receptive, yet she was giving some IOI and we ended up walking side by side on our way to a new bar, so I gave my trick a shot : I stopped walking and told her "Hold on, do this" and I put both my arms in a L shape, upper arm close to my body, palms facing toward me. You have to look much like a robot, or like you are about to breakdance or something. She looks really surprised but wants to know WTF this is about, and does it. Once into position, I just slipped my arm under her arm and started walking again. She laughed and stood by my side.

Second thing I learned is do not waste your time : Still with shy girl. I was introduced to her by a friend. She was clearly not open and everything in her body language was crying "do not interact with me" + her friend was a hell of a cockblocker, running shit tests on me all the night. So I made a bit of a challenge to see how far I could go with this girl. And to my surprise, I had a few good results (see trick up there). But in the end, I understood that I had just been trapped by my ego, because all I wanted to do is prove myself something and I wasted an incredible amount of time for this not so hot girl.If I wanted challenge, it would have been smarter to go after a really hot girl. Will remember. TL;DR Go for the hot girls, not the challenge.

sithyiscool · 2012-03-18T19:06:45+00:00

Over the weekend, I definitely noticed how proxemics play out during conversation. The overriding theme for how close someone gets to you is determined by a variety of factors, such as comfort, environmental situation, and attraction. Furthermore, if you instantly bounce to a new location (i.e, ANY location outside of the initial opening area, the person will instantly be more comfortable with being closer to you).

An image of proxemics

ilostitattheclub · 2012-03-19T00:01:56+00:00

1) Good wingmen are awesome. Not necessarily just for opening, but just being around naturals that are fun people keeps the state high.

2) St Patricks Day is fucking awesome. So easy to pull.

3) Open open open

4) I learnt I can come back from a shitty event that could have ruined my night, but I picked myself up, asked my wingman to pick me up a bit, he gave me a pep talk, then I got right back into it and had some sweet success. Gotta write up an FR soon.

sithyiscool · 2012-03-18T21:20:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Teh_Nigerian · 2012-03-19T00:58:42+00:00

Don't go to a party desperate. I was the definition of a desperate Motherfu*ker at a party yesterday and I feel some of the women could smell it on me. I talked to about 6 girls during the night. One of them passed out before I could run any real game on her, another may have been semi interested, but I couldn't tell. The rest were not interested. However, the worst part of the night, was the fact that I lost my cool after we left the party. I bitched to my friends about be lonely, being a virgin, being sexually frustrated. I embarrassed myself with my pity party and the sad part is I keep doing this every night I fail massively with women. If there is one think I want to improve upon, it is to accept failure more graciously and to stop being all " woe is me, I can't get pussy".

irishbball49 · 2012-03-18T19:21:37+00:00

This is for anyone having a breakup recently, etc. I went through a break up these past few weeks, was pretty hurt about it to be honest as she liked someone else and I hadn't thought to search for a backup while in the relationship. Smart yes to this community, but I didn't feel it neccessary in this situation. Thats another discussion though.

Anyways, I learned this week to get over it! And not just the break up and that girl but get over being down about it and allowing it to affect me ya know? Once I got over this, I had a plan to ask out a hot twin I'd always had a crush on, went up this week and asked her out(turned out to be the sister but she told me when the one I wanted was working) and I did, first time talking to her, asked her out at the cafe she worked at. Now I'm a fun coffee date and a follow up prosecco date the better for doing so. If only it weren't finals week. Not sure if this is a girl I'm totally crushing on but It helped me get to the better place that is today, and have confidence again. Am going to ask out another girl next week and see the twin again for something more sensual.

TL;DR Was hurt and down a bit cuz of breakup, realized I shouldn't allow myself to be, felt better, had plan, plan went according to well plan, confidence back, no regrets.

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-03-18T21:00:00+00:00

This week I commented on several FRs about pre-selection. Then I ran right into a perfect example of pre-selection without intending to.

Wavedasher · 2012-03-19T04:54:24+00:00

Gotta number close. As a beginner, today was one of the first times I just did a cold open.

I was sitting near to a cute girl on the train, and I just started with a situational opener (What time does the train arrive at ___?) We ended up talking for 3 hours.

best part: I wasn't friendzoning myself: I was confident, a bit snarky, DGAF attitude, giving value to her too (talking with me > being bored on train), doing kino (shoulder, upper body, hair). she was definitely showing IOIs (when I said I was hungry on the train, she even suggested getting dinner together afterwards). BUT

I didn't number close. Would have been so easy to do, perfect situation to do so too. but since I'm still not used to this, I was still a little shaky inside and finding it hard to believe that I can be attractive. I've actually noticed this: I'm getting way more attention from females than I used to, but I still have some of those old doubts. Anyways, ended up not number closing her because of that.

we did exchange last names, so I did add her on FB. she posted on my wall almost right away. still, I know phone number >>> FB. I had a success in cold approaching, and I learned I need to have more confidence in my own attractiveness and number close.

TL;DR: didn't number close: should have.

breadrising · 2012-03-19T14:08:23+00:00

PROS:

I love St. Patty's day. Everyone is tipsy and actively looking for a fun time. Plus, holidays give the excuse to dress ridiculous, which help as an approach tool. On Saturday, I was sporting a green, glittery, light up bow-tie. I didn't have to do any approaching, since all the girls were instantly coming up to me and complimenting on my attire. This led to many many playful conversations, flirting, kisses, and dancing.
Meeting new people is amazing. Not only did I meet random girls, I also met a lot of friends of friends (a lot of them being very cute girls). This led to a lot of number exchanges, and even if I decide not to go for any of the ladies I just met, at the very least I have a new group of people to go out with. There are a lot of benefits to expanding your friend groups.
Clubs/raves may be loud, dark, and hard to hear in, but they are also loud, dark, and hard to hear in. Point is, every bad part about raves is also a good part. At one point everyone was just dancing on each other without a care and there was a lot of grinding, touching, handholding, and kissing. The environment may not be good for conversations, but people who go there to let loose, usually do. The music, bass, and drinks usually put you in a steady trance of fun.

Cons:

Too much booze. After an entire day of drinking, I became a complete idiot by the end of the night. I was no longer witty, intelligent, and funny, but just slurring and stupid. Going overboard with drinks definitely caused me to go home alone. Don't over do it kids! Keep your wit about you and don't be afraid to stop.
The city is a dangerous place at night. Almost got mugged. Luckily there were cops everywhere because of the holiday.
Don't hit on girls you aren't interested in. Like I said, my bowtie led to a lot of conversations, and some of them were with girls I wasn't into. While I was chatting up with them, other potential girls simply walked by, thinking I was already too busy flirting. Nothing is wrong with a nice conversation with a stranger, but don't be hesitant to pull the plug if you're not interested.

Title	A Sunday Reflection Thread: What did you learn this week?
Author	sithyiscool
Upvotes	8
Comments	21
Date	March 18, 2012 6:59 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r2as3/a_sunday_reflection_thread_what_did_you_learn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-sunday-reflection-thread-what-did-you-learn-this.1330076 https://theredarchive.com/post/1330076

Comments