Just a brief thought on the "Women date assholes" stereotype

layla_24 · 2012-07-09T20:59:52+00:00

This is very observant. Being a woman, GUYS: we like the chase...It's like, when you like a gorgeous girl and she doesn't talk to you much but you still fall all over her? It is NOT because you're unattractive or not nice enough it's exactly opposite. We like it when it's a challenge to get a guy. Try the whole, casual hangout seduction act. Just being your nice flirty self without the whole "I'm already in love with you" thing can really get a girls attention. Hope this helps! ;)

frogma · 2012-07-10T02:47:41+00:00

Nobody's said it yet, so I'll say it: Just look through the sidebar or some of the top posts dude. You'll see the same argument being made, time and time again.

You've basically discovered the "secret" of how assholes get laid. It's because they're generally pretty confident (or at least, they appear confident). You've probably seen it yourself if you've had a couple girlfriends. What happens when you have a girlfriend? Other girls fuckin flock to you for seemingly no reason. It's weird. But as soon as you're single, those other girls back off and won't talk to you for a while.

It's not purely due to confidence -- other factors (like social proof, preselection, etc.) are at play, but confidence is usually the defining factor.

Edit: And if we're talking about defining factors, "assholes" are generally really good at making moves. Hell, they're not even "good" at it, but since they're making moves in the first place, they're doing better than 90% of guys who just try to pussyfoot around.

RedErin · 2012-07-09T21:55:18+00:00

Also, arrogance is easily confused for confidence.

justthrowmeout · 2012-07-10T04:43:47+00:00

You've got something there!

Women are attracted to men who have the quality that attracts women, which is confidence. YEP!
A disproportionate number of men don't have confidence YEP!
The assholes stereotype comes from the Mr Nice Guys out there, which actually are not really nice guys (I know, I used to be one of them); and the assholes are not really assholes, but are guys who are assertive and tell it like it is, and at times women are in need of that these guys have to offer, at times is a ONS, other times is the attention, the challenge, the illusion of something more, a project to work on, unresolved issues with daddy......
one thing is sure, being too available; bending backward for a woman; doing all the nice things for her; works AGAINST you by making you unattractive, no matter what women say, no matter what romantic movies say, reliability + niceness + predictability make you unattractive.
Be a challenge, be a man, a real modern male, pursue your own interests and be interestingly wild about something that you are passionate about, and if she's interesting enough, or if she deserves it, you can make some time in your busy life to .... have sex with her.

wishyouwerebeer · 2012-07-09T20:24:25+00:00

two words: abundance mentality

akr8683 · 2012-07-09T20:39:50+00:00

that's actually pretty insightful. makes a lot of sense though, because i know plenty of girls that are fixated on the same guy (each one of them isn't aware of each other's parallel crush), and you're right, it's impossible for him to adequately give attention/date every girl. Many of these girls are not looking elsewhere, they are fixated on this one guy. Very interesting observation.

Jewbot69 · 2012-07-09T20:36:49+00:00

You have to look deeper than the surface, the reason women want men that ignore them is because they "want what they cant have." everyone does, you want the money you cant have, the education you cant have, the car you cant have, the woman you cant have etc... the grass is always greener on the other side, this is the motivation for our "want" emotion, to have more than what we already have. We are a greedy race, never satisfied, content, or happy with what we have, no no, we want what others have or what is unavailable to us. This is present in every human being alive today, and it is the sole reason we thrive in this world, we are always working towards something that is viewed as unreachable.

"women are attracted to men with confidence"... why is this? it is because the majority of men have no confidence, they are pathetic and clingy, and self loathing, desperate... any woman could have a man like that, but nothing is less exciting than a sure thing, why take what you could easily have? that would be no challenge, not satisfying at all... Would u rather settle for an average girl? or try and work for an HB10?

justthrowmeout · 2012-07-10T05:10:58+00:00

I've felt that for some time. Us guys are inferring a causal relationship that doesn't exist. HB9 won't give us the time of day despite all our efforts. Then HB6 that we hooked up with that one time keeps texting and emailing despite us ignoring her and treating her badly. We draw the conclusion that if we can just learn to ignore girls they will be attracted and pursue us. It's putting the cart before the horse

What's important is too not make yourself TOO available but if you carry it too far it's not going to do anything to help you.

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2012-07-10T05:56:00+00:00

confidence is a consequence; not something you can just "be".

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2012-07-10T14:07:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Just a brief thought on the "Women date assholes" stereotype
Author	UnapologeticalyAlive
Upvotes	24
Comments	47
Date	July 9, 2012 7:57 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wacch/just_a_brief_thought_on_the_women_date_assholes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/just-a-brief-thought-on-the-women-date-assholes.1335423 https://theredarchive.com/post/1335423

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