Thoughts on being a more 'quiet' individual? Need some perspective I suppose.

Barzillai · 2012-09-22T04:41:29+00:00

You may be an introvert, in which case your behavior is natural and you shouldn't try to fight it. Instead, you should read up on it as much as possible to better understand yourself and your own mindset. Take an introversion/extroversion test, for starters.

silveridea · 2012-09-22T06:03:51+00:00

I think a lot of us can relate, and we should take the time to looking into how we can capture this side of us for the better, instead of trying to change ourselves into the extrovert alpha we read about.

tankdestroyer · 2012-09-22T06:40:47+00:00

I've also been one who doesn't really enjoy being the center of attention. I think it's because I never really grew up as a popular kid. My friends have been telling me that when I talk, "people listen," and I notice it too. But up until a couple weeks ago I used to get really nervous/anxious when I suddenly see the entire group turn their heads in silence as I'm talking to someone. But lately I've embraced this and it's really helping with my game. I've approached more girls these few weeks than the past 4 semesters and I think it's because of this change in thinking.

IMO being louder just means projecting your voice just enough to convey confidence. I still shake here and there when I talk to HB9+ but their positive reactions give me reinforcement which boosts my inner game a lot.

Just my 2 cents, hope this helps

_Scarecrow · 2012-09-22T10:38:09+00:00

I think it all depends on what kind of person you are. If you're someone who can say good stuff all the time (as OP seems to be), then saying very little will be enough to get the right kinds of attention.

But if you have no idea of what to say, it's better to talk a lot and make sure lots of people hear you, and eventually you'll stumble onto something that works.

When 100% of the stuff you say is gold, the you only need to talk once. But if only 1% is gold, then you need to talk 100 times before you'll make progress.

_Scarecrow · 2012-09-22T14:07:05+00:00

When you really know who you are, changing yourself isn't such a big deal. The "core" of who you are won't change.

As an experiment, why not try expanding your comfort zone? Sure, on one hand, you should "be yourself", but really, most of the posters in this thread are simply using that as an excuse to stay within their comfort zone.

"Personality types" are bullshit because you can be whoever you want to be. You might lean towards certain types, but ultimately, you can be whoever you want to be.

There's no reason you can't be both super outgoing (when necessary) and super "quiet-suave" (when necessary). No need to limit yourself.

On the other hand, maybe being louder would improve my game more but I just don't feel comfortable acting that sort of way, and being congruent is important right?

That's sort of like saying, "I'm not going to approach because I don't feel comfortable doing it, but I'm being congruent!"

Betterman92 · 2012-09-22T15:25:15+00:00

Honestly, I feel the opposite way.

I wouldn't say I'm a "loud" person, but I have no problem saying what I want when I want to, which is frankly most of the time, haha.

I feel like all the quiet guys get the girls though. They seem to emit a sense of confidence that girls really dig, but I don't understand it. I've tried being more quiet/chill myself, but that generally makes me feel a little anxious and as if I'm not acting like my "true" self.

yumyumchewedgum · 2012-09-22T15:33:40+00:00

I've noticed that the more I improve my game the more I'm looked as a social leader. Not trying to be arrogant but its true, and I hate it. I'd much rather just sit back and chill then be the "life" of the party running around yelling with everyone. But I use that for my advantage. I build rapport with everyone slowly and without neccesarily trying to entertain them. Honestly, just listening and being honest in conversation with a bit of kino and confident body language will get most girls. Don't try to change who you are. If you don't want to be the loud funny guy DON"T BE. You can do pick up without becoming a clone.

_Scarecrow · 2012-09-22T20:23:40+00:00

For people saying that introversion is just an excuse and cannot be changed / I'm probably just shy etc. I was in fact diagnosed with type II bipolar disorder, by multiple trained professionals in my youth. I do not take medication as I've been living with it since I was 11 years old and feel comfortable controlling it without them, but this does not impact my social life as much as it does others as I've learned to 'pick my fights' in a way, as in I know when I will be incredibly comfortable around others and when to just avoid them.

Krypt0_Knight · 2012-09-23T02:52:10+00:00

If you don't like to talk that much, make them talk. Ask them about their passions and ideally seek for advice when you can relate.

Coz7 · 2012-09-22T04:57:04+00:00

What's wrong with changing yourself into someone who gets better results? Just the fact that you have always been an introvert sounds like a weird reason not to change.

Additionally, being congruent is vital for comfort.

Title	Thoughts on being a more 'quiet' individual? Need some perspective I suppose.
Author	_Scarecrow
Upvotes	18
Comments	37
Date	September 22, 2012 4:25 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/10a9t1/thoughts_on_being_a_more_quiet_individual_need/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/thoughts-on-being-a-more-quiet-individual-need.1339913 https://theredarchive.com/post/1339913

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