Got a date set up for Sunday with a cute girl. What are the simplest pointers you can give, to keep me in the right frame of mind?

tehKov · 2013-05-03T02:37:26+00:00

Alright, I'm no expert by any means, but seeing as no one else has posted anything of significant value I'll give it a go.

These were some of the things that helped me last week with a string of 4 awesome dates (all f-closes):

Comfort Building

Just remember, at some point when you are talking to a girl, you MUST >build a certain level of comfort or she will not feel comfortable sleeping >with you/dating you. Sure, talking about porn is great, but you'll need >more than that to find a girlfriend. Entire books have been written on >comfort building methods, but I'm going to share my secret with you.

In addition to finding common things you like or have experienced >(commonalities), play a quick "Getting to know you" game and bring up >these three topics:

1) A time when you were really embarrassed

2) A time when you were really scared

3) Your relationship with your parents & your parents' relationship

It has been scientifically proven (by Dr. Arthur Aron) that those three >conversation topics lead to high levels of comfort between individuals. >You will each feel like you have shared a very vulnerable side and you >will have more respect for one another because of it.

-- from Above the Game. I have mad respect for anything TofuTofu writes.

Then there were things I came up with myself from past experience and readings:

-- Focus on positives. For every problem in your life you want to talk about, there should be some solution you are passionately working towards. Talk about that passion, not the problem. (this one was specific to my situation, but saved my ass with an amazing girl)

-- Be authentic. If you like something, say it. If you want to do something, do it. This is easy in print, but difficult in person. I always correct myself if I notice I said a white lie.

-- "what do you want to do", "I don't care", "I don't know",and "good", are not allowed to be said.

-- Have fun and realize that it is as much about you getting to know her as it is her getting to know you. She is likely just as unsure, nervous and lusty as you are.

-- KINO! seriously! I don't have the link on me atm, but about a week ago a female commented on a post here about kino and basically said that girls want you to touch them (granted there is attraction).

-- (later in the night) If you want to makeout, she likely wants to makeout too. Also, don't look for the perfect moment or perfect line to initiate. Just do anything because the making out itself is really all either of you care about. The "move" is just an excuse to get the cat out of the bag.

But again, I am not expert. These are literally things I have written down in my notepad over the past few months. Hopefully they help a bit.

I would also say read Above the Game on the sidebar. It helps me get in frame before going out.

EDIT: I've been meaning to try this one out: "This conversation is boring. Let's talk about something more exciting." I think it could be a good way to jump into the "A time when you were really scared" topic.

ekeno · 2013-05-03T01:45:30+00:00

It's Cinco de Mayo. Show up in a sombrero and act appalled that she didn't do the same.

lolhereiam · 2013-05-03T00:59:11+00:00

Step 1: Stand in the mirror.

Step 2: Put on the sternest, meanest face you've got.

Step 3: Beat the living fuck out of your chest until your fists are fuck all raw.

Step 4: SCREAM.

Then you're ready to go.

eisuke · 2013-05-03T05:46:36+00:00

stop thinking about banging her

Mirror23 · 2013-05-03T01:55:54+00:00

Look at /r/askreddit. Find the best questions. Ask her those, and you'll have so many interesting things to branch off from.

recyclablebantha · 2013-05-03T05:03:20+00:00

Of course, go into it with a fun mindset, looking for the fun in the moment....

But don't forget, you probably don't know this girl too well, right? It's easy to let go of the outcome when you realize that a date is about discovery. You have no idea if she's really that cool or not. People usually hide their disqualifying attributes in the early going. Hell, some disqualifying attributes aren't evident until you get someone to bed or experience them the morning after.

So if you find yourself thinking too much about how awesome she is..... just realize that you don't know her yet. That's the point of the date. That, and to have fun!

Matthew-Taylor · 2013-05-03T15:44:42+00:00

Just be calm. She wouldn't have agreed to go out if she wasn't attracted to you.

Pugilanthropist · 2013-05-03T17:03:06+00:00

First of all, getting a date off OkCupid demands a round of applause from me. I can't get a date for the life of me there.

My biggest advice would be this:

Communicate your sexual intent non-verbally, have a fun conversation that you enjoy, break the touch barrier early, and remain outcome independent.

sillymallard · 2013-05-03T17:17:06+00:00

You overthink things, which is exactly what I do. So simplify: Be positive and outcome independent.

You are going to have fun no matter what happens, whether she's into you, just want to be friends, or is a complete cold bitch. If she turns out to be the ice queen, she will make for a great story with your friends after the date. You are going on a date because you found her interesting, want to know more about her, and are open to the possibility of a romantic relationship happening, but that's it. Be outcome independent, friendly, genuine, and discerning. Don't try to play the right part or say the right thing so that she likes you. Don't worry about her liking you. The fact that you'll leave her alone if she doesn't like you will lower her guard and allow herself to become attracted to you if she is attracted to you. Don't micromanage your behavior or responses to questions. Don't be yourself. Be your BEST self. Hope it goes well.

road_warrior_1 · 2013-05-03T22:01:13+00:00

Relax, and go have fun.

2013-05-04T02:50:22+00:00

Relax and chill out. There, you're in the right frame of mind. IMO, trying to overload your brain with more and more shit is just going to cause more anxiety. It's like trying to cram before a big exam. Shit usually doesn't work.

Get plenty of sleep and kick back. When Sunday rolls around, you'll be able to handle it like a boss since you're relaxed, you big-dicked motherfucker.

kingcal · 2013-05-04T04:40:49+00:00

OKC dates can be a lot of fun. Go into the date with the mindset that regardless of how the date goes and how you click with the girl that you're going to have fun no matter what. There's literally zero consequences. It's not like she's in your social circle and you'll see her again and have awkward moments if the date was terrible. Pick a fun venue that you could enjoy all on your own. Don't be afraid to cut the date short if it's going badly. Amuse yourself. Don't try to entertain her.

sagelydrunk_sedditor · 2013-05-04T05:27:21+00:00

You can do little things tactically -assume a power stance for 2 mins before going to boost your testosterone, get your body engaged -try approaching sets beforehand to warm yourself up socially -Venue bounce (3 different places) to make the date feel longer than it is -kino, etc.

But the best thing you can do is not psych yourself out mentally. The best advice in this thread is to relax and not care too much about the outcome. Don't worry about getting laid, impressing her, judging her reactions to you, etc. Instead just chill and be self-amusing, let the conversation flow from fun, to stupid, to intellectual, to a little personal, etc. and don't try to force an outcome. Take opportunities if they present themselves and definitely try to kiss her when/if you guys part ways. Other than that just kick it OG style.

budguy68 · 2013-05-03T21:12:05+00:00

Go to the mall and hit on at least 5 girls. You'll feel awesome afterwards and it'll radiate. Unless ofcourse you get reject those 5 times in a row than you will just feel like dog shit.

Title	Got a date set up for Sunday with a cute girl. What are the simplest pointers you can give, to keep me in the right frame of mind?
Author	MorphineSmile
Upvotes	17
Comments	31
Date	May 3, 2013 12:48 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1dl7sz/got_a_date_set_up_for_sunday_with_a_cute_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/got-a-date-set-up-for-sunday-with-a-cute-girl-what.1351684 https://theredarchive.com/post/1351684

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