~ archived since 2018 ~

Have fun. Its the tip that everyone is forgetting.

penis_sosmall

July 14, 2013

90 upvotes

/r/seduction

Long time lurker, second or third account I have on here, posted a few times... some FRs as well as some tips.

I feel that a lot of people on here are looking for that formula to say the right thing the "cheat code for a blow job" so to speak. However, sometimes we cannot see the forest through the trees.

Have fun.

All of this is supposed to be fun. Talking to women is fun. Socializing is fun. Drinking (if its part of your lifestyle) is fun. Making an idiot of yourself is fun. With everything else going on in all of our lives, this should be the part that we worry about the least, because its supposed to be fun. I'm a few weeks away from moving to a new state (where I know no one) to start grad school full time, took out $100,000 in loans to cover those expenses, but I'm going out with my buddies this coming weekend, and maybe I'll find some cute girls. Which one of these should be making me nervous?

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Post Information

Title	Have fun. Its the tip that everyone is forgetting.
Author	penis_sosmall
Upvotes	90
Comments	32
Date	July 14, 2013 1:03 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1i9vec/have_fun_its_the_tip_that_everyone_is_forgetting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/have-fun-its-the-tip-that-everyone-is-forgetting.1355428 https://theredarchive.com/post/1355428

Comments

[–]paki123 16 points17 points18 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]penis_sosmall[S] 8 points9 points10 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]xxbzrk99 7 points8 points9 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 13 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link

[–]penis_sosmall[S] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]penis_sosmall[S] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]salamander423 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]salamander423 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]FalseAxiom 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]RiOrius 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]FalseAxiom 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]RiOrius 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]hotpajamas[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

what are you calling failure? change your definition of failure, so that you don't fail anymore. rig it to win it as they say.

I really want to have fun again.

If you really wanted to, nothing would hold you back. For whatever reason, being negative is just easier. So no, I don't think you really want to. It's harder for some people than others, but if you really wanted it, what's the issue if not a simple conscious choice? If a stranger's reaction to you in anything that you do deters you from having fun, do you really want it?

I'm just sick of being alone regardless of how much effort I have put into myself.

Nobody owes you anything, regardless of how much effort you put into yourself. The same is true for everyone.

and think I could never compete with them for the opposite sex.

it isn't a competition. people that have lots of sex want to share that with people, but most people aren't "healthy" enough for it. it isn't a matter of demonstrating that you're better, it's just a matter of demonstrating that you're capable. i realize that's vague, but i'm not sure i can say it any more clearly than that. as in, i'm not a good enough writer to make any more sense than that. sorry.

I've seen you post before, and I'm pretty sure I've even tried to help you before. Odds are strong that the last time I probably told you nearly the same thing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

If you really wanted to, nothing would hold you back. For whatever reason, being negative is just easier. So no, I don't think you really want to. It's harder for some people than others, but if you really wanted it, what's the issue if not a simple conscious choice? If a stranger's reaction to you in anything that you do deters you from having fun, do you really want it?

If I didn't want it, why would I still be trying? I haven't given up, like you have implied. When I decide to give up is when I'll commit suicide. Simple as that.

Nobody owes you anything, regardless of how much effort you put into yourself. The same is true for everyone.

Never said they did, but I can still be sick of it. I don't plan on blaming anyone when I blow my brains out due to loneliness.

it isn't a competition. people that have lots of sex want to share that with people, but most people aren't "healthy" enough for it. it isn't a matter of demonstrating that you're better, it's just a matter of demonstrating that you're capable. i realize that's vague, but i'm not sure i can say it any more clearly than that. as in, i'm not a good enough writer to make any more sense than that. sorry.

I fully realize I'm inferior. That's why I hate myself.

I've seen you post before, and I'm pretty sure I've even tried to help you before. Odds are strong that the last time I probably told you nearly the same thing.

Maybe, but what you said aren't really things I can do to change, just reasons why I suck shit. I know I do. I want to stop before I decide to up and end my life.

[–]hotpajamas[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If I didn't want it, why would I still be trying?

You're looking for some one to tell you it's easy, you've just been doing it wrong. 2. You're looking for someone to tell you it isn't your fault. 3. it's easier to live with yourself if at least half-heatedly you believe "you're trying".

I don't know man. There are a dozen different reasons people do things, but even if you had all of those reasons, it wouldn't matter if one of them wasn't that you really, really wanted it more than anything.

Never said they did, but I can still be sick of it. I don't plan on blaming anyone when I blow my brains out due to loneliness.

The belief that people owe you something is implied when you stipulate that if you don't get it you'll commit suicide. If that's honestly something that's crossing your mind, women really shouldn't be a priority right now.

I fully realize I'm inferior. That's why I hate myself.

I didn't say anything about inferiority. In fact the entire point of what you quoted was to dispel the notion of a hierarchy. It isn't matter of being better of worse, it's only a matter of being capable. Right now, you're not capable of seduction in the same way that someone with the flu isn't capable of giving a speech. That doesn't mean that person is an inferior speaker, it just means that right fucking now, that speech isn't what it could be.

Maybe, but what you said aren't really things I can do to change, just reasons why I suck shit. I know I do. I want to stop before I decide to up and end my life.

Take what i've pointed out and put two and two together. When I say redefine what it means to fail, fucking redefine what it means to fail. So you were at a bar and thoroughly creeped some girls out? Nice. You tried. Your mental commentary on that night stops there. That's a victory. What's esoteric about that? When i say quit believing people owe you anything, it means drop the belief that you're owed anything - freedom of outcome. When i say it isn't a competition, I mean quit comparing yourself to your peers.

People want to believe easy truths, and right now it seems like it's just easier for you to believe that you're subpar, that you suck, that you're "inferior" etc.. than it is to believe that you're sabotaging yourself by being so negative. Make the choice to be positive. Instead of replying to me and saying "I suck shit"/"I'm gonna blow my brains out", receive my help, even if it sucks, and go on about your day, proactively being positive about every little fucking thing you can.

You talk more about the inevitability of suicide than you do of the inevitably of your success. Yet I'm to believe you want to be successful more than anything? Do you not see the dissonance there? People can only help so much; you're in control of how most of this goes.

[–]miles_v 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]miles_v 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Are you somehow disformed? If so, then that's definitely an added level of difficulty to all this.

Imagine the most ugly person you possibly can that does not have a genetic defect. That's most likely me.

If not, then I bet most of it can be counter-acted with your attitude. There are several pick-up "gurus" out there who are anything but conventionally attractive and it doesn't stop them from doing their thing.

I agree that looks can be compensated to a point by attitude. I've seen it done by others. But when I think of the "conventionally unattractive" pua's like Tyler, Style, Mystery, etc., they really aren't all that ugly. Their facial features are fine. They may be ginger or balding or dress goofy, but they aren't genetically ugly like myself.

If you go in beaming with positive energy, would women still run away screaming? I bet not.

There have been times where I was feeling incredibly good at the start of the night and the initial reactions weren't as bad. They still occurred though and eventually destroyed my state, and eventually my self-esteem.

I'm the least fashion-aware person I've ever met and I've never put any work into how I look. But there are people who can help you with this. There are people who can specifically help you look better, in subreddits like MFA, for example.

I understand, but I'm subbed to MFA and try to follow their guidelines with my own personal touches. I'm also subbed to /r/fitness and try to constantly better my physique. I just don't know what else to do, and it's legitimately killing me.

[–]miles_v 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]BroseidonSirF 4 points5 points6 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Geeeyejoebro 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MonkeyMannnn 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]deathray_dj 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]JayZizek 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]jspliff12 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link