Afraid to kiss. Not because of fear of rejection but because of fear of not good enough

Suitirc · 2013-10-27T15:27:09+00:00

When I had my first kiss, it was with a girl who was more experienced than me. I boldly initiated it, let her lead, figured out how to do it in 2 seconds and just kept making out.

Trust me, it's not hard. Just let her lead! She didn't believe me when I said that was my first.

justatypicalman · 2013-10-27T16:05:40+00:00

Here is some advise, Your too bothered about what people will think of you you're actually stopping yourself from progressing and experiencing certain experiences.

Don't fall into the category of people who are sensitive to judgement.. you will only hold yourself back in so many aspects of life.

Tyanuh · 2013-10-27T17:51:47+00:00

That's still fear of rejection mate... Just one step further.

Greenlava · 2013-10-27T15:47:17+00:00

When you get these thoughts, think of the girl sitting on the toilet popping a pimple and squeezing out a fat dump at the same time. Not fucking better than you now is she?

She's a person with fears, doubts and insecurities like everyone else.

hellafun · 2013-10-27T18:01:22+00:00

I used to stress about that too. Honestly dude, your body already knows what to do, stop intellectualizing it. ;)

jmikolash · 2013-10-27T18:48:17+00:00

When you are kissing you are executing a movement. When you are jerking off do you worry about your feelings and thoughts? Fuck no. You are performing a mechanical action designed to induce pleasure, nothing more. Do what pleases you, and she will be pleased.

I bite their lip, grab their ass, press myself against them, then push them away a bit, because that's what I find fun.

If your feelings are getting the best of you, work on your inner game more.

astreinz · 2013-10-27T17:33:25+00:00

Relax bro. Most girls will think it's kind of cute. They like a little nervousness at first. Then you find a groove with her and keep her motion. Easy as pie

JadedArtsGrad · 2013-10-27T19:25:55+00:00

I'm pretty sure I'm terrible at kissing, it hasn't stopped me yet.

Darksider123 · 2013-10-27T21:53:58+00:00

Here you go bro, I picked out a few techniques from here. Went from mediocre to great

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1halb0/menwhoaregreatkissers_what_techniques_do_you_use/

dirtyhotthrowaway · 2013-10-27T17:39:00+00:00

Kissing is not a big deal. Just don't slober, if you have a long tongue don't shove it down her throat, and explore her mouth. What makes a kiss better than others is where your hands go and what your bodies do.

JaktheAce · 2013-10-27T19:50:41+00:00

Fear of not good enough is still the fear of rejection.

surfinfan21 · 2013-10-27T19:51:00+00:00

I met a girl last night. The night was winding to an end and I thought man I really want to kiss this girl. As soon as that thought started coming I went in for the kiss. She was actually still talking too and loved every second of it. Reminds me I should give her a call tomorrow.

2013-10-27T19:54:22+00:00

Hang in there bro. I once found out a girl thought my kissing was too sloppy (this was in high school, I think I was still a virgin). It bugged me for a while but then I stopped caring. 30+ lays later I still don't care.

I still remember my first french kiss 30 years past the fact. It came during a game of spin the bottle, she was hot and it was awesome. I think that's the only time I kissed that girl.

Dragonswim · 2013-10-27T20:12:20+00:00

One gets better through practice.......

DonVote · 2013-10-27T22:19:08+00:00

It's simple. You just have to good enough.

jdepps113 · 2013-10-27T23:13:24+00:00

Focus on enjoying the experience, and taking it step by step. If you stop worrying and start enjoying and feeling, you'll do well.

TheTimeShrike · 2013-10-27T23:21:21+00:00

Kissing is weird, it is 90% touching lips and 10% technique. If you feel her responding pull harder, if you feel she is tentative, kiss gently. She'll want to do it no matter what, saying you aren't worried about rejection.

quickwipes · 2013-10-27T19:58:24+00:00

It's really tough to kiss someone really badly. You need to really be putting in a lot of effort to f*ck it up. If you are insecure, let her lead.

ajohndaniels · 2013-10-27T21:13:30+00:00

Where do you learn how to kiss? I always imagine that when people are young they figure it out together. And the people who aren't a part of that never really get to learn properly.

elgskred · 2013-10-27T22:49:32+00:00

a while ago, i was told i wasnt a good kisser. didnt really matter, because she was ok, and i enjoyed it. we ended up dating, so it kinda worked out, even if i did it wrong.

Heflar · 2013-10-27T23:09:48+00:00

i think you need to get that mentality YOLO jks, but seriously, i'm always like, "fuck it, lets do this" and do it, that is all the hesitation that i will allow myself, anything more and i know that i'm just fucking around and will never do it.

Every moment you don't do what you want, you grow more comfortable in not having what you want, you should do whatever you can to remove that comfort and find comfort in getting what you want, you will be happier for yourself

2013-10-27T23:12:25+00:00

When I was in the depths of my social anxiety I had the same thought process. I wasn't good enough for anything, not just girls, but school, friends, life.

What I realized is that we're all awesome. Every single one of us. We're unique and incredible human beings. It is our very nature to be awesome, we just cover it up with insecurity and other such bullshit.

Exallium · 2013-10-28T03:14:39+00:00

I forget if it was Sam or pat from perks of being a wallflower who said you should just copy what the other person does... I've always just tried to read what a girl likes based off what she does and imitate/twist.

joshsway · 2013-10-28T14:03:10+00:00

kissing is easy as shit. Seriously. Just go with the flow of what she is doing.

2013-10-29T08:09:33+00:00

I had never even considered makeout skill to be something worth worrying about. Just be natural. You got this.

2013-10-28T06:47:02+00:00

mate you should stop being a flaming little homo and give a go.

blitz79 · 2013-10-27T21:43:29+00:00

OP, are you 12?

Title	Afraid to kiss. Not because of fear of rejection but because of fear of not good enough
Author	reinventforbetter
Upvotes	76
Comments	45
Date	October 27, 2013 3:18 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1pbf43/afraid_to_kiss_not_because_of_fear_of_rejection/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/afraid-to-kiss-not-because-of-fear-of-rejection.1360592 https://theredarchive.com/post/1360592

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