Warning: this is going to be pretty long Hi guys, today I wanted to introduce myself and my story in hopes of inspiring at least one person to not give up.

My friends call me G, I'm 26 from Calgary, Alberta. I married my high school sweetheart at age 19. We had 3 kids, but things weren't great near the end (In hindsight I take responsibility, I wasn't being the dominant male that a woman needs). In 2012 at age 24 I became a divorced man with 3 kids... No way any woman (or employer, or friend, ect) would ever want to get involved with that, right?

Oh yeah, and because of an accident when I was 22 I lost all but my bottom front 6 teeth. Not joking. This was a major blow to my self image and my personal and professional life dipped to an all time low. I had hit my self-esteem rock bottom.

Over the last few years I did a lot of soul searching, was in some pretty dark places mentally, and really worked on accepting myself and learning to love myself again. That is the subject of this post.

The first time one of my roommates suggested meeting a new woman I involuntarily laughed. Who would ever love me? I was 24 years old, divorced, no teeth, 3 kids, broke, still get acne, average sized dick, awkward, not strong, big nose, crooked eyes, didn't have a strong jaw, not tall enough, not a good speaker, smoked cigarettes... Any little thing that I could find wrong about myself I would use against me. Nobody else but you is capable of seeing every single fault in yourself. I was my own worst enemy, constantly telling myself I couldn't do things because my brain was telling me I was worthless. I was bouncing around between meaningless low-paying jobs, getting fired or laid off from almost all, because I had no confidence in what I was doing. My co-workers would describe me as weird, or spacey, most people didn't like me... Hell, I didn't like me.

The biggest regret in my life is that my children saw me like this. To them I was supposed to be invincible. Nobody is tougher, stronger, smarter, more handsome than your dad growing up. He's the superhero, he's the one showing his little boy how to be a man. He's the one showing his little girl what a real man is supposed to be. I was doing neither, and that just made me hate myself even more.

Every single day of my life I think how glad I am I left the house that day. I usually didn't go anywhere, instead staying alone in my room and isolating myself from the world. Looking back, I'm not even sure why I went out that day, I guess it really doesn't matter, but it was the day that changed my life forever. May 17th 2012, the day I started the comeback.

When he turned around and started talking to me, I was intimidated. He was a massive man, 6'5" nearly 300 lbs, chunky and overweight but still solid as if his legs were concrete pillars. He talked with a low-pitched Newfie accent, his hair was thin and balding in areas. His face was chubby in the same way as a toddlers, with a patchy 5 o'clock shadow covering acne scars and other still noticeable imperfections. When he smiled he revealed a missing tooth, third tooth on the top right. His name was Joey and he was far from physically perfect, like myself. That is why I was so shocked, after 2-3 minutes of small talk while sitting at adjacent tables in the coffee shop, when the single most beautiful woman I had ever seen came and sat at his table with him. Her name was Alexia. She was much smaller than him physically, 5'8" at the most, barely 120 lbs. She had long black hair, a gorgeous smile that would light up any room, and a body that more attractive men than Joey and I would die to see in it's entirety.

He wasn't rich by any means, and he wasn't particularly attractive physically. Joey was, by every measure of the word, average. His girlfriend was not. This was the moment that changed my life. Whatever he had, whatever he was doing that made this woman lay in bed beside him every night, is exactly what I needed.

Joey and I became close friends over the next months, in fact the only time I would leave my isolation was to hang out with him. He worked long hours as a plumber, a profession some people would deem as somewhat underwhelming, or menial. Joey didn't see it that way. To hear him describe a day at work would be to hear mozart describe music, or picasso describe painting. He loved it, he truly felt he was helping people daily, whether he was solving a problem in someone's home, or helping to build a new home. He helped people with something they couldn't do on their own. If only in one area, as insignificant as it may be in the big picture, he was an expert and that gave him power. If I was as passionate about anything in my life as he was about his work, it would be the first time. But it wasn't just his job, it was everything. Passion for life would spill from his mouth with every word of every sentence. He was easy to talk to because he would never judge you. He would listen, pause, think about his words, and then give you the exact right answer to whatever you said. When I opened up to him about the rut I had been in and gave him every reason why I felt the way I did about myself he looked me directly in my eyes and calmly said "So?". He had no time for my excuses, he had cut through them with one word... and I am forever grateful for it.

"Do you have any idea how many people have called me ugly?" He said in his deep Newfoundland accent. "How many people called me fat or stupid or slow. I was 6'5" and 340 lbs in highschool. Do you know what they called me? Frankenstein. I never cared what they said because I knew that I am a good person, I care about people, and they only say things like that because there's something they don't like about themselves". For a guy that wasn't considered to be too smart, he sounded like Albert Einstein to me.

Over the coming months Joey and Alexia became my best friends. When I asked Alexia "Why Joey?", she calmly replied in her vaguely european accent "because he's a real person in a world full of people faking it. He is beautiful on the inside and out and that is most important". They were both real people, and I was still faking it. I didn't want to fake it anymore.

I started with my children. I focused all of my time and energy on being the best father I could be. I read parenting magazines and books. I learned games and fun things to do, how to discipline, talk to, teach, and learn from my children. No matter what I felt like on the inside, to them I would always be beautiful. I would always be their Superman. This new found confidence in parenting changed everything for me. I was a great father, and for once I had confidence in something.

Next I focused on my work. My grandfather used to be an electrician, and he would always talk about it with the same passion Joey talks about plumbing. I walked into an electrical company with no experience, no knowledge, and no tools. They asked me why they should give me a chance, and I recited, pretty much word for word, what Joey had said to me about why he loves being a plumber. They gave me a job with no further questions. The interviewer told me afterwards that I was the most impressive interview he had ever done.

I was still dealing with my issues, but now I wasn't dealing with them alone. I had Joey and Alexia, I had my children, and I had a career, not a job, for the first time in my life. There was still progress to be made, and setbacks along the way, but I finally felt like myself again. This was September 2012, 4 months after I had met my best friends. I never thought I would feel better again. All I needed was someone to help.

Today, I'm in a great place mentally and physically. I only recently discovered this board, and a lot of what Joey taught me is what you teach guys about inner game. I'll go into how I got back into dating in another post solely dedicated to the topic. If you're wondering, I still haven't gotten new teeth yet, but I'm saving to get the best money can buy. It hasn't affected my dating life, because I don't see it as a big deal anymore. It feels great to know I'm doing it for myself, and not for someone else to like me.

For anyone stuck in a rut, feeling depressed, or just not completely themselves I promise you there is something you can do to make it better.

Talk to someone. Anyone. Dm Me if you want to, but you need to tell someone what's going on. When I was depressed the people around me didn't really know how bad it was. Humans are great at hiding their true emotions inside.

The reason I made it through is because I had people who truly cared about me, who were willing to take the time to show me what life really was about. I promise you there are people in your life who will do the same for you. I have never met any of you, but I would do it for you because I know how it feels to be in that place and in this place. This place is much more exciting and fun.

Dedicate yourself to something. Anything. When you sit at home alone all the time you are never going to get better. If you're going to spend a majority of your time inside isolated, make it useful. Learn something new, how to sew, paint, read classic novels, read science articles, watch classic movies, ect. Do something that gives you value. For instance I did all of the above when I was isolating myself. Now I sew all my kids clothes, know about scientific advancements, can talk about books and movies, love to paint (which makes a great first date) and because i've done this my social awkwardness is a thing of the past. I'm interesting, and confident in conversations because I know that I know what I'm talking about. All of this gives me value, not just to others but more importantly, to myself.

If you have suicidal thoughts, go to the hospital. They won't lock you up in the mental ward. They will help you. They will talk to you. They can get you back on track, and as hard as the first step seems the second is 10x easier, and the 3rd is 10x easier than that.

Best of luck to all of you in your journeys. - G