They all seem to want relationships instead of sex?

rattamahatta · 2015-04-02T21:19:49+00:00

They tell you in no uncertain terms that they do indeed put out on the first date, but they don't want to - with you. You need to hit the gym, and hit it hard. Become a strong, confident man. I know you were looking for more technical advice, tricks, or some clever lines to say. But you're misjudging women severely. These girls do get fucked on the first date. But not by you. They told you. I didn't make that up. They literally told you and you better believe it.

HappyMexican · 2015-04-02T21:16:44+00:00

I am running to into a similar issue, only they don't want to have sex or start a relationship, but they love to make out or spend time with me. Dunno what to make of that.

Kinda like, friends with minor benefits lol. Dunno if that is a thing...

Colin_Lee · 2015-04-02T19:23:33+00:00

No just be up front with them from the beginning. Tell them your intentions early in the night. For me this also changes the way they think about you and gives them a feeling of more of a challenge. On top of that you weed out the relationship ones earlier so you aren't wasting your time.

2udaylatif · 2015-04-03T05:09:38+00:00

A combination of you not projecting a sexual vibe early enough and not screening for sex.

They like you for long term because you are projecting the boyfriend vibe to them. You are dating them and being all "nice" and "safe". You are probably not flirting hard enough and waiting too long to escalate. Your image may need a makeover as well.

boss413 · 2015-04-02T20:09:48+00:00

I'm going to start off by saying this assumes your goal is to F-close, because there might be people who disagree with my perspective if they see your predicament as a good position to be in. A big issue is context. How old are you/they? How are you meeting them? Where and when is the date taking place?

The closer they are to mid-20s, the more likely they are to be okay with polyamory.
Are you meeting them on the Internet? Your selection criteria are probably misaligned with wanting a FWB. If you're meeting in a fairly normal setting (coffee shops, work, library, etc.) you're probably just getting a realistic sample of women. If you were meeting them in bars and clubs you'd be finding more women who are geared toward what you're looking for.
Are you taking them to a restaurant that signals "this is a couple's date"? You might be shooting yourself in the foot by doing what you think they want as opposed to creating an atmosphere that fits with what you're looking for.
How are you dressing? Are you peacocking at all?

Then again your game could be geared toward being a boyfriend. The more you want to end with an f-close, the heavier you should be leaning on Attraction, kino-escalation and rewarding her affection with attention, less so on Comfort-building and finding things you have in common.

All that being said, this is a kickass blog you should read that's based on OKCupid's data. Significant to your question is how they answer the following question: Do you like the taste of beer? Those who say yes are 60% more likely to be okay with sex on the first date. You might use it as a screening question.

2015-04-03T06:21:25+00:00

Stop acting like a boyfriend and they'll stop categorizing you as one... No more traditional "dates" AF/BB

2015-04-03T08:55:01+00:00

You are not wetting her pants enough, basically.

Garathon · 2015-04-02T19:38:13+00:00

It means they want you more than just a one-night stand which is a positive: they see you as long-term material.

Emxif · 2015-04-03T03:12:56+00:00

How long do you wait to escalate? I used to have this problem until I started escalating aggressively from the very start. Touchy from the get go. By the time it comes to closing it's already assumed. She knew from the start you wanted to fuck, so when you escalate to the close it makes sense and there's no state break like if you were to wait too long.

shitsfuckedupalot · 2015-04-03T04:30:49+00:00

Consider your sampling practices

fuckboystrikesagain · 2015-04-03T05:40:43+00:00

You dont need to get in a relationship... youre not being forced. They dont know your long term intentions.

secondpua · 2015-04-03T08:40:10+00:00

I have a feeling that it is the conversations that you are having during the dates and they are putting you into a particular frame in the girls mind. A lot of the guys that I know that get sex on first dates a lot, they keep the conversation very light and playful and stay away from deep topics. Very similar stuff to stuff you would say on a night out at a club and you were aiming for a snl. For example she asks about your family they reply with "I was raised by wolfs"/"My mom is a stripper". By being playful you are put into the fun/player frame which is what you want. If you go deep you get put into the boyfriend frame and with that she starts acting accordingly and trying to do things right in her mind eg making sure your committed to staying by withholding sex, ect.

Solidgame · 2015-04-03T09:53:35+00:00

You should step your LMR game up Suggesting that you will "stay around" after the deed, protect the ones you love no matter what, be non-judgmental, keep secrets/gossips, etc. Also increase your push-pull and never use logical arguments when it comes to sex; it kills the emotional/sexual tension

2015-04-02T21:40:32+00:00

don't lie. tell them the truth.

then cuddle, and say you're not going to have sex, just watching tv and talking. but keep kino escalating, but affirm you're not going to have sex.

make plans for the future, so she feels comfortable that you're not going to take off if you do have sex.

keep kino escalating until she's really horny. then fall asleep together. when she wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, kino escalate again. her will power is weak then.

sometimes, LMR takes 4 hours. the girl that's chasing me right now, we fucked on the first date, but LMR was literally 4 hours.

Ok-Talk-4303 · 2015-04-05T00:49:19+00:00

girl here: if you have sex with a girl under false pretences then you have taken advantage of her. if she only consents to sex within a relationship and you pretend to be in a relationship with her then have you really got her consent? i'm obviously not saying that if you do this then you've raped someone but it's definitely immoral.

i'm a girl who (before i got into a long term relationship) was down for casual sex and it used to seriously wind me up when guys would pretend they wanted a relationship rather than just sex, it made me feel violated because they had gotten my consent under false pretences.

you're clearly just going for the wrong type of girls. also, if someone asked for my number then called me and asked for a DATE then i'd assume they were looking for something long-term so i might start playing the long game, so, even if I was usually down for casual sex I might not want to put out too soon with a potential boyfriend.

however, if someone asked for my number but kept texting me, keeping everything light, flirty, fun and sexual then i would either stop replying to them if i was not interested OR if i kept texting them then when we met up again i would assume it was for a casual hook-up.

using flirty/sexy texting will creep some girls out BUT it screens out girls who aren't down for casual sex and it means, although you will go on dates with less girls, it means your f-close percentage will be far higher.

the only thing to keep in mind when doing this is: if a girl is not reciprocating the flirty/sexual banter then just stop, do not harass her and for fucks sake no dick pics. no one likes dick pics.

camper182 · 2015-04-02T19:41:08+00:00

Same

Title	They all seem to want relationships instead of sex?
Author	oinkd
Upvotes	28
Comments	37
Date	April 2, 2015 6:54 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/317zuv/they_all_seem_to_want_relationships_instead_of_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/they-all-seem-to-want-relationships-instead-of-sex.1386156 https://theredarchive.com/post/1386156

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