How do you deal with women misinterpreting humor?

2015-07-19T20:00:37+00:00

That's how humor works, they'll be people who don't get something that makes you laugh.

i'd just change the subject. It's only as awkward as you feel it is.

DaygameCoach · 2015-07-19T20:55:30+00:00

It could partially be your delivery. (Body language, words, inflection, etc.)

Also, some people over-banter/neg women...meaning they do it too often/long.

I do a lot of teasing/banter. I do however get bad reactions to a particular banter line from drunk girls who have to pee (in a bar) though. :)

lipchuck · 2015-07-20T06:58:18+00:00

I too have experienced these sorts of girls, and have had success by making the joke even more obvious/exaggerated/outrageous. Don't back down.

Also, a side note: if you are trying to flirt with this girl, don't assume she's not attracted. In fact, you should get in the habit of assuming the opposite. If you are truly annoying her and she isn't interested, she will give you a clear signal that this is the case.

In the community, I think they call this "holding your frame" or something like that. Apparently women find this attractive, because it shows how you have a stronger will and state of mind than most people. Essentially, it makes them think you are more confident because you aren't backing down or giving up. That's the theory anyway. I just know that it works when you don't back down so easily.

Putting this altogether and using your example, when she says "I don't eat that much chocolate", take it a step further and say something like "Well how come when I Google 'Chocolate Addicts Anonymous', your picture is the first one to pop up? I bet you even have chocolate flavoured toothpaste. You're lucky the TV series My Strange Addiction hasn't found you." Don't let her ruin your joke. Push the joke even harder. Proverbially ram it down her throat and make her pay for trying to pull that shit. If you are a reasonably social person, you know what is funny and what isn't, and you should believe that you know better than her. I mean think about it...what rational person would actually hook up an IV of chocolate? Nobody. She's trying to downplay your obviously good joke and take away your fire. Force her to your way of thinking. After all, it's just words. At the very worst, she'll tell you you're annoying. If she does, then drop it, but every time I have called girls on her shit like this, they eventually laughed. Sometimes it took even several times of rephrasing the same joke or using even more sarcasm, but they laughed.

If you are certain your joke is funny, then push the envelope. If you are unsure then you can take a step back and reevaluate. I'm telling you though, every time I was in a situation like this and certain my joke was funny, I pushed the joke harder and they cracked.

recyclablebantha · 2015-07-20T03:15:58+00:00

Some women get humor, they get teasing and they know how to play along, they laugh, they don't take it too seriously.

Obviously, you're on some peoples' wavelength but not on others, like anyone else.

In any case, when a girl responds like this, it just seems awkwardly anti-social to me, regardless of the reasoning.

You can/should take a step back and get over yourself here. It's not inherently "anti-social" when two people don't relate to one another. It just means that you don't relate. A person can fail to relate to one person, and yet get along famously with other people.

The point is that a failure to connect doesn't reflect on you or her. Just on how well you guys relate. There's a difference. And you choosing to blame them instead of look at what you're doing to contribute to the awkwardness, is not helpful if you want to adapt here.

How often do you experience this odd shit? Is this a case of an oblivious girl with no sense of humor? Is this a case of a girl deflecting obvious humor/teasing because she's not attracted?

Well, there are a couple of things going on, and a lack of humor may or may not be one of them:

She might be really dry and lacking in humor.

But if this happens to you a lot, this is probably not the case with most of them. It's probably that you have a style that just polarizes girls immediately.

You have a distinct sense of humor that hits certain people fine and turns off others.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, it just is. I used to have much the same issue, polarizing a lot of girls who just thought I, and my sense of humor, were "weird." You may decide in the future, as I did, to shift your way of expressing your humor so it's not so much of a shock to people, while still remaining true to yourself.

On a related note, they may be aware on some level that they aren't attracted to you

And one way this will exhibit itself, is in a lack of humor where you are concerned. Subconsciously, they will not want to show approval in anyway, like finding you funny. It's like when someone you don't like laughs at your jokes. You still thought what you said was funny, but it's instantly kind of not funny when someone you don't like wants to share humor.

There's no need to try to figure out how to get at them or how to respond to their "lack of humor," because what you're doing is saving yourself time by finding out immediately who is open to you and who is not.

MacFatty · 2015-07-19T21:40:21+00:00

Your very example.

If said by a slim, fit girl. You could joke.

If said by a fat chick, and you say "I bet you eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner" she'd probably take offense because she is fat.

candynips · 2015-07-20T02:36:30+00:00

Oh yes the utter dim witted women. It's hard to read these types. I usually just double down and try to make light of how they didn't understand a simple joke. This makes it so they are qualifying to you and you can play it off without looking awkward. This has to be done delicately though because you don't want to offend them if you don't have the rapport yet, but usually they are too oblivious to be offended anyways.

2015-07-20T05:13:36+00:00

After the jokes went over/around someone's head. I usually just make eye contact, smile, and lead the conversation in a different, perhaps more serious and literal direction by asking a question or voicing a thought. I find however that I don't enjoy being around people who don't understand my style of communication and relating, so in a way I find humor to be a sort of compatibility filter.

bizort · 2015-07-20T06:19:05+00:00

If they don't get my joke (or even worse, take offense to it) then I usually roll my eyes and walk away. Chances are we're not compatible.

There's different levels to it. Sometimes it's a simple miscommunication and you can feel that as soon as you blurt your joke out. But if she just stares back at you then let someone else waste their life on that.

SusanDonym · 2015-07-20T06:59:06+00:00

I (a girl myself) have girl friends like that. The best thing, usually, is to just smile and say, "I was joking", or "just kidding", and they'll generally smile and laugh it off, even if they still don't actually get it. I figured this out after listening to how they talk to their friends/family, and realizing that their idea of humor is in fact to follow every joke with a "just kidding", like a label just so everybody's clear, and every statement is taken sincerely by them as literal unless proven otherwise. It's actually kind of sweet. It does take some getting used to, though.

Also, there are girls out there who aren't like that. I mean, I'm not. There are people with a sense of humor to match yours no matter who you are, sometimes you just have to look for them.

RickyRockyDude · 2015-07-23T09:18:19+00:00

Just say "Haha, I was joking", and resume the conversation

Morokweng · 2015-07-19T20:10:04+00:00

Some people are more receptive to different types of humor.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, so you shouldn't rely on it too heavily, if you do then maybe you're just not that funny.

But if you do tell a joke and it falls flat, just pretend it didn't happen, move on as fast as possible, don't try to explain the joke.

Revuction · 2015-07-19T21:12:53+00:00

Last night I offended a woman with a joking comment. "That's racist", she proclaimed as she completely withdrew and turned away. Completely unphased, asked her "Is it?", and without hesitating, moved on to other related topics. She quickly turned right back to me.

By being unreactive, I showed her that I wasn't interested in playing her game and was in charge setting the mood of the conversation.

tl;dr: Be unreactive.

Title	How do you deal with women misinterpreting humor?
Author	WhatIWannaSay
Upvotes	28
Comments	18
Date	July 19, 2015 7:46 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3dv4r4/how_do_you_deal_with_women_misinterpreting_humor/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-deal-with-women-misinterpreting-humor.1391261 https://theredarchive.com/post/1391261

Comments

She might be really dry and lacking in humor.

You have a distinct sense of humor that hits certain people fine and turns off others.

On a related note, they may be aware on some level that they aren't attracted to you