I'd like to hear the thoughts of all of you fellas approaching or past 30 on being single.

bizort · 2015-09-27T14:31:00+00:00

I'm 34 and never really struggled with this line of thinking because I'm not scared of being alone. The one thing I'm sort of scared about is balding but I'm not extremely concerned about it. I have all of my hair and I don't think it's going anywhere in the next few years, either. I've also always looked younger than I am. I do pretty well with women, especially as I've gotten older, but I've been extremely selective in who I date on a monogamous level. I've only been in 2 or 3 relationships in my life. I know what I am, who I am, etc, and I mostly know who will be able to put up with me and what I'm willing to endure from the other person. I date a lot but hardly anything sticks, for one reason or another. I don't want kids so I'm perpetually the bridge that girls use between boyfriends.

I don't really think anyone is going to have success in certain aspects of life unless they're truly fine with being alone. We're all very capable of making some incredibly bad choices simply because we're not comfortable with that idea, and it's very easy to deviate from this just because you're getting older. I view that as a trap. Your time limit that you're feeling is some artificial deadline that you're imposing on yourself. It's bullshit. Let it go and do your thing.

compromisedaccount · 2015-09-27T15:37:31+00:00

Im 32, divorced about a year ago. Ive always been good with women, and I consistently got laid, even in high school. Now, however, im on another level. Im a man, im confident in that, and I have an outstanding career. I meet women from 21 to 40. I can say, without a doubt, ive gotten more hot ass in the past 4 months than ive ever gotten. I could easily find a serious relationship w a hot gal, but why? When im ready to settle down, ill find an awesome 25 - 30'yr old. My thirties have been my best time in life thus far.

compromisedaccount · 2015-09-27T14:26:22+00:00

I'm only 24 but I plan to stay single until atleast my mid 30's.

I just keep telling myself this.

"men age like wine, woman age like milk".

Settling down is the equivalent of selling your availability. So it just seems silly to me to sell off that stock when it's at its lowest price.

CuilRunnings · 2015-09-27T14:11:15+00:00

I just turned 30. I have never looked my age. Most people guess I'm in my mid 20s or give a "wow really?" at the discovery of my age. I think this idea that 30 is so old is a remnant of our parents generation. I have had a great time dating. The women you encounter are more mature and respond well to being upfront with your intentions entering the relationship. Treat yourself no differently and neither will the women you meet. I do realize that the clock is catching up to me on having a family, but do I really want to do that in grad school with no time or money or stable job? Hell no. Have fun and let things happen.

CuilRunnings · 2015-09-27T14:32:54+00:00

I'm turning 30 next month. I have a 20 year old sitting naked in my bed as I get some work done before we head to a music fest. I think a lot about getting married and having kids, but I haven't met the right woman yet. I'm just living life.

masaldana2 · 2015-09-27T14:24:40+00:00

I met some wingmans in their 30s and go out all the time, but they dont have anything going in their lifes. They go to their low wage job and try to pick up women(they really try), they aren't successful at that. So no, not every 30 year old is in their "prime". They always tell me their stories when they were young x)

1Destro1 · 2015-09-27T13:42:24+00:00

I wrote a whole thing and just deleted it. Reread what you wrote, I think that I may be in the same boat as you. Let me be clear, I haven't been successful with women so I don't know what that feels like [also, I am balding rapidly so I literally see myself aging]. It's quite terrifying. So, what has been the secret to your success?

Hurray30 · 2015-09-27T17:20:32+00:00

Question to all those who responded that they are having huge success in 30s. Where do you meet these women in 20s and early 30s to bang them ??
Which city if you don't mind mentioning?

I am turning 30 in couple of weeks and haven't had success with any women so far as far as lays go. Tbh, I started going out at 29.

Does being bald hinder my chances? I am excited being 30 soon.

What can I do to maximize success with women? More lays and a relationship??

StillInTheGame · 2015-09-27T15:15:36+00:00

You have plenty of time left. This has been the best single year of my life as far as dating goes. As long as you workout, eat healthy and have a decent job, a man can do well into his 40's.

I'm in my mid 30's, I've been single for the last year. My ex was in her low 20's. In this past year I've hooked up with more attractive women than I ever did in my 20's, several as young as 22.

Occasionally you will meet people that are like wtf are you doing clubbing at 35. Or a woman who doesn't want to date you because you are 15 years older than her. Fuck them, do your thang

njskypilot · 2015-09-27T20:36:57+00:00

47 year old here. Divorced at 37. been single for 10 years and loving it. Here is my first advice for all you young guys out there, marriage is the worst business decision you can make. Stay single, enjoy life, keep your own money and avoid divorce.

2015-09-28T01:47:12+00:00

It only gets better man. I'm almost 40 and happy being single. I see my old friends from high school fat, balding and tied down and I don't envy them at all. I date women 10+ years younger than me and do whatever I want.

tramplemestilsken · 2015-09-27T15:16:33+00:00

Seconded basically everyone here. I've been 30 for a few months and in a way it's made things easier. This weekend I brought home a 19 y/o (looked 25, did not find that out till later). As long as you stay in shape and have a decent career, women will be more attracted to you because of it. You're showing that you built a great life for yourself and women respond to that. They don't have to gamble on your potentials like they do with younger guys, so it's easier imo. With older guys there is just less bs to deal with. Just treat them with respect and be clear about intentions, whatever they are, and they'll keep coming back.

khowabunga · 2015-09-27T15:33:22+00:00

32 here. You'll probably find yourself being attractive to less people... But by no means not attractive to all.

You sound exactly like me from your post / comments.

30s are amazing - esp being fit, successful, attractive, with money to spend. It's especially easy in a big city. 18 yr olds will still want to jump you (though less and less as you age) and you'll literally have your pick of any older women.

I wanted to stay single for a while, doing what you are doing (dating a ton of diff women and just having fun). Oddly enough I'm laying in bed right now with an awesome gf of almost a year.

Just have fun. Fuck the noise.

2015-09-27T16:57:23+00:00

Just like turning 16 is a big deal in many cultures turning 30 and 40 is also a big downfall for most people. It's stupid really. Because of the way we group numbers (by sets of 10) this nice round number we value more significantly. 29 and 31 are hardly different than 30, but many see it as an exit from youth and fun. Now you're supposed to be responsible, own a home, have a great job and already figured out women and gotten married or had kids.

A lot of young women are bitchy about this (eww ur too old gross) just like a lot of younger men are probably not into older women. I'd definitely say your days of sleeping with women 18-23 are limited since there will be fewer opportunities to meet women this young, unless they drink, or you hang out somewhere that caters to 18+ like special days of the week for a dance club or a hookah bar, but most girls will probably view you as that weird old guy and the younger guys that want those girls will definitely reinforce that. Don't worry though I've heard some guys that are in their 40's or 50's hooking up with chicks in their 20's. They are usually really rich though.

A-town · 2015-09-27T17:10:02+00:00

As a single 26 year old in a college town, this thread makes me feel really good. I've been spending the last few months feeling like I was surrounded by women who thought I was the creepy old guy in my classes (veteran, a lot older than most of the people in my class), but now I realize that I need to change that thinking. I'm the desirable guy I've always thought I am. Thanks seddit.

SmartAce8020 · 2015-09-27T17:12:13+00:00

Having recently turned 29, myself, I have been very reflective. Call it a Saturn Return, call it a quarter life crisis, call it whatever...turning 30 is usually one of the first major transitional periods in a man's life. My recommendation is to do a little homework and try to expand your consciousness. Looking back, I would have had a little more fun and been much more gentle with my paradigm shift.

Tom Leykis...YouTube him. Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9tN1Wt8B4YIiVpcr7y3plA

Personally, I would have listened to more RooshV to tip-toe in to 'red-pill' content before discovering MGTOW. That is a whole other box by Pandora.

Above all, try to foster your masculine energy in this misandrogynous society.

quasi-psuedo · 2015-09-27T17:16:02+00:00

To me, it all depends on your outlook. What do you want? For example, kids? Probably wanna start soon especially if you marry around the same age. Companionship? Just don't want to be alone? It's all subjective, there's no silver bullet. A lot of times we ask questions like this when we already know the answer. Thing is, we just want someone else to tell us...

pcweber111 · 2015-09-27T17:26:23+00:00

You're going to turn 30 and after a day or so realize it's no different from being 29. Regarding picking up women nothing changes aside from maybe the ability to bag more because they feel you're somehow more stable and career oriented. In reality though it's no different for me picking up a woman in her 20s or 30s now than it was 10 years ago (I'm 37 going on 38 in a month). I've been married and divorced, have a 7 year old and get alternate weeks to be single. I just make the most of it when I'm by myself.

2015-09-27T18:58:17+00:00

I'm coming mid 30's and I've found it only gets better and better. But then I like proper relationships rather than mindless messing around

sedtawy · 2015-09-27T19:29:16+00:00

At 28 and balding it gets a little tougher to pull girls in their early 20s. That being said, I find most women get pretty impressed with me when I start talking about my PhD and some of the really cool stuff I've done with my life.

Besides that, I'm not finding it that different from 4 or 5 years ago. I guess, I find there are fewer available attractive women in the workforce vs university. More importantly, I find that when I'm working I have more time to date when compared to university. It's a catch 22.

As for being alone, if there is one thing you should take away from this subreddit it's that your life should be awesome because you are in it and not because of the other people around you. Don't take your state from friends, enjoy your life by just being who you are. One of the best experiences of my life was hiking up a mountain and reaching the glacier at the top then looking out over the mountain range without a single other person around me. I felt like I had just conquered the world and I did it all on my own.

gigitygigitygoo · 2015-09-27T21:18:13+00:00

I was told a long time ago once to wait until I'm in my 30's to marry. At that age, I'll have a solid career, be emotionally mature, and in the best shape I've been in. Essentially, I'll be at my prime and can pickup much better ass to marry than if I settled in my 20's.

I recently turned 33 and couldn't agree more.

recyclablebantha · 2015-09-28T02:51:21+00:00

I just want to preface this with my own situation. I'm 29 and having a little difficulty with the idea of turning 30 while single. I'm only recently processing this idea after a recent breakup.

No doubt about it, that barrier takes processing.

I am fortunate enough to have had good luck with women before receiving any PUA advice. In fact I'm quite new to PUA. Since the break up, my ability to pick up women has skyrocketed which is nice. But like I said, I did pretty well before that and so have kind of felt like I got what I needed to out of single life (or at least have trouble enjoying it with the pressure of time).

So luckily, if you already have these abilities, getting over 30 is not going to change much, really.

Statistically speaking the last month has probably been the most successful in my life (3 different women in 24 hours at one point) and it has been extremely helpful with moving past the breakup but I just don't get the same joy out of it that I once did. A big part of it is a certain "time anxiety". I feel like my peak is fast approaching. Even with the fair amount of success I've had over the years I've really only ever met 3 women I could see myself potentially spending my life with. Again, the increased numbers thanks to PUA has me feeling a little better about that low number.

Yeah, you're going to have to do some work on yourself here. And the women you're sleeping with, they won't fix the problem, as I'm sure you're aware of. But the rebounding was perhaps necessary for your whole process so it's not a bad thing that it has happened.

Firstly, this "peak" that you think you are approaching, is in your head. And anyway, some "peak" is not the point anyway. The point is that this has to do with some value or values you hold within yourself. You ought to do some thinking on this and reevaluate what's important to you. Maybe you have been holding onto some value that is unhelpful in your life now. Like the idea that you should have been married by now. Or the idea that being a guy over 30 and single is somehow creepy. (Some form of this one is actually pretty common.)
Secondly, you may think about what kind of girl you really want to be involved with. Simply getting with women, is ultimately easy, as you have realized. What's difficult is being true to yourself and being picky about who you go for. Every time you hook up with a girl just because she's moderately physically attractive and you can..... it's incongruent with your values. Because as we get older, who a girl is internally, starts to matter as much or more than the physical. So you owe it to yourself to sit down and think about what matters to you in this department, if you haven't already. Or start valuing it by being pickier about who you get with.

Anyway, I've been asking people about this a lot because it's on my mind. A lot of guys have told me that they had their best years in their early 30s.

It's all a case of YMMV. But the value of such conversations with people is that every opinion you get on this matter, is going to resonate with you or it isn't. And in the process, it will show you what matters to you personally.

So anyway, guys who are late to the game or just happen to find themselves hitting 30 and still in the game, how did you feel? What are your thoughts?

You don't stop living at 30 unless you choose to. I chose to keep living.

2015-09-28T06:00:43+00:00

I think it all comes down to what you want. I was somewhat comfortable with the idea of ending up a confirmed bachelor, but I knew that what I really wanted was to spend the rest of my life with the perfect woman. Fortunately, I ended up meeting her when I was 29. Haven't looked back.

That said, my struggle in life was never relationships or settling down. I was always happier in relationships than I was single, even when the relationship wasn't perfect. If you are like I was, then yeah, I think you should be looking. Even if you want to be an older bachelor, I think your field expands a lot if you are divorced with kids versus just a bachelor. It all depends on what culture you are a part of though. If you are an Investment Banker or something like that or if you live in a metropolis, it is much more acceptable to be a 30-something single than it is in the suburbs.

CynicClinic1 · 2015-09-28T14:50:10+00:00

Back to basics, brother. Go back to asking questions and listening to what the girl says. It's mostly her that does the talking, your insecurities do not come into the picture. Deep breath, big chest. You got it.

49ered · 2015-09-27T19:32:16+00:00

I am in my late 20s and tbh man, at this point, I feel like all the good ones for LTRs are taken. It is easy to get ONS and casual sex but plenty of good looking women around our age are married and if they aren't, there is something wrong with them. Most of them are either mentally insane or coming off of a divorce. Believe it or not, these days being a bachelor is becoming more and more common for adult males.

compromisedaccount · 2015-09-27T14:55:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

bsutansalt · 2015-09-27T17:08:36+00:00

It's pretty damn great. I've had sex with HOT college girls nonstop the past couple days, none older than 20.

You have to have something going for you of course. In my case I was away for the weekend for a whitewater rafting trip and because I'd done it before and studied the subject I was "older and wiser" and was seen by their group as the highest status male there aside from the guide. I just told some stories that I've accrued throughout life and the best the guys could do was nod along and talk about how awesome something was or how they hoped they could see xyz place in the future whereas I've already been there, done that. The girls were just mesmerized. When we went back later I had my pick of the litter, and the girls couldn't want to take their turn with me.

First up was a hot 18 year old brunette. Kept doing this Miley Cyrus smile thing where she sticks out her tongue to the side. I called her out on it and she couldn't believe anyone talked to her like that.

Second was a short little 19 year old, maybe 4'10" tops and a real firecracker. Also a redhead and not a hair on her downstairs :)

Third was 20 year old sister to one of the guys in our group. She was a bit reserved and I acutally didn't think she was into me at all, but right before we were all getting ready to leave that night she keep looking at me. I figured what the hell, why not since we wouldn't see each other again soon, so I sat down next to her, made the fastest small talk of my life, and when I could tell she was cool with our legs touching I just told her to come with me beause she had to see this really neat thing on the other side of the building I found. She kept asking what it was and I just bullshitted my way through her shit test and as soon as we were out of sight, I pressed her up againt the wall and made out with her. Some finger banging behind the service counter in the empty cafeteria quickly followed by me bending her over said counter having a really hot quicky.

Title	I'd like to hear the thoughts of all of you fellas approaching or past 30 on being single.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	35
Comments	60
Date	September 27, 2015 1:15 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3mkobs/id_like_to_hear_the_thoughts_of_all_of_you_fellas/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/id-like-to-hear-the-thoughts-of-all-of-you-fellas.1394934 https://theredarchive.com/post/1394934

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