How to stop putting girls on pedestal, if it is clearly (objectively) obvious that she is way hotter than you are?

xen911 · 2017-03-15T13:50:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Woujo · 2017-03-15T13:18:29+00:00

Women's only value is not in their appearance, so acting like a girl is "awesome" because she's hot is not true and is also an insult to her because it implies that everything she has is her appearance.

Also, women care about more than just appearance.

That said, approaching girls should have nothing to do with the "leagues" you guys are in. Yes, some girls may be out of your "league" for a million reasons, but when you approach, it should be just to talk to somebody. You approach just to talk and if she likes you she shows interest.

petriomelony · 2017-03-15T13:04:06+00:00

shape is not the only issue. we already know that female attraction is based around a lot of other factors such as confidence, preselection by other females, grooming, etc. the question is what other great qualities does the guy have to balance out his lack of shape? does he smell nice? is he funny? does he have hobbies and skills and is he passionate about life?

you can either believe this, or believe in the old paradigm that appearance is the be all and end all, and that there are such things as leagues. while I agree that girls at the gym might put more importance on physical well being, that isn't necessarily true about women in general. and there are plenty of places to meet attractive women aside from the gym.

at the end of the day, you lose nothing by approaching now. why wait? in a few months or a year those people may not even be around anymore. don't build a habit of hesitating.

https://youtu.be/8EwcYwax4Oo

sykilik101 · 2017-03-15T15:34:10+00:00

This might come off as somewhat...impersonal(?) or crude, but think in terms of this: If you're friends with a rich guy, but he doesn't give you any of his money, he might as well have as much money as any of your other friends, right? If you have a friend who's really good at cooking, but they never cook for you, they might as well be as good at cooking as you. Think about hot girls like that; she could be hot, but if she's not going to date or sleep with you, she might as well be ugly. I know this sounds crude, but essentially her being attractive doesn't matter to you if you don't "gain" from it. (I put gain in quotes because obviously friendships and other relationships don't strictly boil down to what you gain from someone, but in a way they ARE part of it.)

If you like how she looks, cool beans, that's good. Outside of that, screw what she looks like. Looks aside, she's still a person. Look past her looks and think about who she is. Maybe she's in shape now because she used to not be in shape and felt unattractive and wanted to feel attractive. Maybe she's in shape because she had a medical issue that would improved by getting healthy. Maybe she got out of a bad relationship and decided to get in shape to feel better about herself. She isn't just "a hot, in shape girl", she got that way, and she got that way for a reason. Be interested in that reason, and she'll likely find you more endearing that way rather than if you had simply been interested in her for her looks.

bluedot12 · 2017-03-15T18:27:11+00:00

You already lost man. Girls are just people. Your goal is to find someone who is as attractive on the inside as they are on the outside. Just talk to them like you would anyone else. With respect and entertainment.

Jack__Knife · 2017-03-15T13:37:26+00:00

this only works if you're in the same "league" as the girl. However

Once you've done this you've already failed.

Start two pegs down then. Would you buy a 2017 Ferrari F12 without knowing how to drive one? Or would you start with a Corvette?

jamesgfilms · 2017-03-15T16:06:05+00:00

U don't nid mussils wen u got sweg

t1mman · 2017-03-15T17:14:14+00:00

Why don’t you let her decide if she finds you attractive or not?

Couple of things to consider: *We don’t have the same taste. * Some dudes likes ass, some like tities. Even those who likes asses more than tities could like either the “in shape sporty type” like you posted (my case, actually) and some likes the “Kim Kardashian large ass type”. Some does’ t see anything past the big pair of boobs, so they don’t care if she has a larger body. It’s the same for gals! Some likes dudes in shape, some likes dudes in with “larger appetites” (to say it politely).

*Gals don’t focus on the same things as guys. * Most guys focus on looks as their uppermost interest in girls. Girls focus on multiple aspect, but before all, they make sure they feel safe with the guy before they are able to do anything more than friend stuff. Some focus more on success than looks, some on physical fitness, some on creativity, etc. Etc.

That being said, those type of girls mostly focus on physical, and they put a lot of time and effort on physical fitness, so their life most likely revolves around this. You can be sure that you’ll have heck of a lot more chance if you focus on the same area, that you prioritise the same type of mindset. It’s not all about attraction here but rather shared interest, share priority in life. I’d bet that they value health and self growth before many other things.

Doesn’t mean you should wait for anything thought! Just that the more in shape you are, the more chances you’ll have.

BTW: With the right diet and exercise plan, you can manage to change drastically your appearance. As long as you think of it as changing habits rather than just “getting there”.

mbillion · 2017-03-15T18:32:39+00:00

I don't have to be as hot as she is, hot will get you exactly two things, dick and more dick.

It doesn't get you money, status, freedom, sense of accomplishment, value in your endeavors, etc etc etc.

I don't have to take a load for my allowance, I'm self made, I'm also recently attractive, but more importantly I am free and I am happy

abbebaay · 2017-03-15T21:20:14+00:00

I think, being resonable, that you can't full on approach one of those girls asking for their numbers etc if you look like that guy in the pic. Atleast not in the gym, since fit girls at the gym will probably want the guys to be fit as well.

What you can do is maybe start some small talk to girls you see often at the gym. Become that "gym buddy", be interesting and let them see you evolve and become more and more interested in you.

Either that or you wait until you look decent atleast, no need to be a fitness model. It's just that guy you linked was REALLY out of shape. It's like a random 3-4 girl trying to get it on with a Ryan Gosling type guy.

frankwhiteblack · 2017-03-16T06:04:06+00:00

plenty of hot chicks with big dudes

ThirdLegGuy · 2017-03-15T21:04:47+00:00

I understand the issue you're talking about, OP. Please ignore all the comments talking about how you've lost already with that mindset, etc.

Yes, the issue is real. What can you do about it? Well, for starters, please understand that these 8s and 9s you've mentioned above don't usually date average guys anyways. To date an 8, you need to be at least an 8 yourself, but better to be 9, just to have more healthy options and control in relationships. So if you're a guy and you're 7, your best bet would be to find a girl with solid 7 or 6 score, who is really into you, and call it done.

Later, if you invest heavily into yourself and your success, you can go up 1 or 2 steps, and eventually you might be able to hook up with 8. But that would require at least a few years of dedicated work, and you just need some girl today - for sex, comfort and whatnot.

redrogue12 · 2017-03-15T14:36:34+00:00

A woman's value mostly comes from her looks. You are a man and can offer much more. Go to the gym, excel at your job (in everything you do), get that inner game tight and go conquer. Be the best you can be it will be inevitable unless you keep her on that damn pedestal.

muirnoire · 2017-03-15T14:59:18+00:00

Both of those women are genuinely unattractive to me. Does that mean they are "above my league" or "below my league"? Yep, below my league. That's entirely based on my mindset and what I value in a woman and has zero to do with my look or appearance or my perception of my own personal attractiveness. It's all mindset and zero to do with largely media generated perceptions of attractiveness. Attractiveness had many more facets than the merely physical. I can tell by looking at both of those girls that they are obsessed with their appearance which is inherently unattractive to me. Interesting that you, a person obsessing over appearance, is attracted to women who also obsess over their appearance.

Title	How to stop putting girls on pedestal, if it is clearly (objectively) obvious that she is way hotter than you are?
Author	Velcade6
Upvotes	77
Comments	30
Date	March 15, 2017 10:26 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5zikje/how_to_stop_putting_girls_on_pedestal_if_it_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-putting-girls-on-pedestal-if-it-is.1421866 https://theredarchive.com/post/1421866

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