I insult the girl that I like when I'm nervous

ExoticAd2840 · 2024-03-17T09:57:59+00:00

Here’s what you do. Text her later and tell her: “I hope I wasn’t too harsh with the teasing. It happens when I’m nervous. I’m sorry if I offended you. I’m working on it.” Women love honesty and hate games.

I’m super awkward sometimes, even when I’m not nervous. I acknowledge it and it makes everyone more comfortable, especially me. My last partner fell in love with me when I made an awkward joke about stealing his identity, laughed so hard at my own joke that I snorted, then apologized and explained that I’m just really awkward and I can’t help it. He got really excited and told me that he “love[s] awkward!”

I used to be nervous during interviews, and then I learned that if I acknowledged to the interviewer that I was nervous then the interview magically went well. Eventually I stopped being nervous during interviews and now I always get a job offer if I get an interview.

I share this with you because I want you to know that I understand where you’re coming from, I’ve had similar experiences, and I’ve overcome them by acknowledging my awkwardness and/or nervousness. I truly believe it will work for you too.

ROBYoutube · 2024-03-17T09:25:32+00:00

That's not being bad with girls man. That is just straight up being an asshole.

It is a personal policy of mine not to hurt anyone unless it's in defence of myself or in defence of the safety of others. But I do have to actually wait until Someone is attacked before I can respond. Just hurting a girl because situations like the one with her have caused you hurt and confusion in the past.... It's gross man.

I want to hurl whoever permanently bound 'flirting' with 'being mean to people in a way you personally find frivolous' through an unending series of plate glass windows. It's just asking to stumble into an insecurity of theirs that hurts them and destroys whatever relationship you might have ended up having.

So yeah I don't know what you're personally comfortable with but boy howdy I do not envy you.

undercovertrad · 2024-03-17T10:04:24+00:00

As a woman, I can tell you any guy who acts like you describe just blew his chance and demonstrated he’s way too emotionally immature to be a good partner. Probably also too self absorbed to even be good in bed. Teasing a girl because you like her is like what eight year olds do, not grown men. I think you probably blew it unless you’re willing to apologize for being a jerk and try to start fresh.

starspider · 2024-03-17T14:28:59+00:00

My guy, you need to make friends with gals. Girls. Women.

Might I suggest you start with some that you are not attracted to? It may help with the nervousness because you're not under that kind of pressure.

I think a lot of the problems people recovering from RP or incel-adjacent thought systems comes from the 'other-ing' of women. They spend a lot of time trying to make you see women as somehow other. Some go as far as to try to dehumanize women entirely.

This is an entirely common sort of social conditioning, though the way RP etc use it is more like how it's used to try to divide nations or to bring unity against a political enemy. Seeing people try to use it to destabilize relationships between the sexes is weird, but thankfully, since its been used for so long, we know how to counter it.

Master Class does an excellent article on othering:

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/othering

VeronicaWaldorf · 2024-03-17T10:17:26+00:00

You’ve probably ruined your chances with this girl.

What I would recommend is watching the YouTube channel called, Charisma on Command. He offers a lot of great advice on how to be more charismatic. He also offers video examples. And a lot of that is great for dating interactions. And he also teaches you things that will probably help you become more empathetic so that you can understand the perspective of the other person that you’re trying to communicate with .

Also recommend watching another YouTuber by the name of Shayan Wahedi . His channel is great at teaching you how to make the most of your personality and improve your interactions.

I used to be very socially, awkward and have made more than a few faux pas when it comes to communication. Don’t beat yourself up as long as you are genuinely wanting to change. You should definitely make an effort to apologize to that girl. And if you actually are sorry, you will make an effort towards improving how you present yourself to people in the future.

And don’t forget if you are ever wondering whether you should say something or not… When in doubt, sit out ! It’s better to be quiet than to offend someone

GladysSchwartz23 · 2024-03-17T16:20:06+00:00

Oh, kiddo. I sympathize -- being on the spectrum and socially awkward has definitely led me to say stupid shit I thought was funny approximately one thousand times over the course of my life. I'm going to chime in with the person who said you should apologize sincerely and talk about how you're awkward and this happens when you're nervous. It's hard for people of any gender to interact with people we're interested in, and we all have a lot of toxic "you must play games and NOT SHOW INTEREST, dating is a game of chicken and the first person who is sincere loses" crap in our heads.

You might be real with her and get rejected, but there will be other girls in your future if you keep being self reflective and trying to improve yourself. The important thing to remember is that she's a human being like you and that if you treat her the way you want to be treated -- no more freaking insults! -- you may be able to get closer. Good luck.

TheVenusProjectB42L8 · 2024-03-17T15:37:35+00:00

You sound like you are in grade school.

Why do "boys" interact with us while playing mind games, then wonder why "they can never get a girl", while walking around insulting us and acting like you don't like us?

You are the one playing games and acting with nefarious, alterior motivations, and then you project that upon women and girls, accusing us of being the ones that play games.

Even after you'd "get" her, you'd likely only continue with your strategies and mind games of control, then wonder why your girl "acts crazy" in response to your manipulation and subpar contribution to the dynamic of the relationship.

You need to grow up before you continue to interact with women and girls, and stop treating them like a plaything you need to coercively "catch" or mentally manipulate into a relationship.

xvszero · 2024-03-17T16:20:40+00:00

If you're a misogynist you probably need to work on that before trying to date. Not really fair to try to date as a misogynist, no? Have you tried therapy?

Beyond thay when it comes to dating you just need to ask someone out and not as a joke. We are so so so scared to be emotionally vulnerable but it's also important. Like it's fine to just tell a woman "I really like you, would you like to go on a date sometime?" This isn't a lifelong commitment, it's just a date.

ashaw7 · 2024-03-17T16:28:25+00:00

I had this same issue, though I am married now. I think its odd tgat you uaed MGTOW for pickup advice though as they don't generally advise to do that. The thing is that men and women do actually tease each other when they are attracted. The thing is to not be a dick such as delivering back handed compliments or insults, except when clear that it is a joke. Aside from advising to try to stop "negging" women as the RPs call it, I'd say maybe try occasionally giving a genuine or sincere compliment and see how she takes that. Maybe if you catch yourself insulting her, clarify that you are teasing amd follow it up with a compliment.

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-03-17T19:38:55+00:00

There is gentle reasing that is cute, and there is insulting: do you habitually do this with other people?

Of course, you want to try to avoid outright insulting, because you could potentially accidentally insult something that is a very big deal to her.

You may also want to get yourself in situations where you interact with more people, especially women, even in platonic situations, to build confidence.

Title	I insult the girl that I like when I'm nervous
Author	Muted-Analysis5683
Upvotes	6
Comments	35
Date	March 17, 2024 9:02 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1bgt7e2/i_insult_the_girl_that_i_like_when_im_nervous/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-insult-the-girl-that-i-like-when-im-nervous.1426196 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426196

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