At CalArts, while completing an MFA and having my films broadcast on PBS, I was denied access to become a faculty member because I was a man who was raped by a woman.

At that time the majority administration and teachers were female. My older female professors supported me but as times changed and third wave feminists joined the staff, I began to be mocked by famous female experimental filmmakers.

They didn't like that I was a man who supported women but also could relate to being victimized.

I was proof that men aren't the sole reason for all of society's woes. I didn't crumble or become a professional victim. I made films to expose bullshit and examine truths. Whenever I would try to talk about my feelings or experiences, I was dismissed or called a queer.

I expected better.

Instead of watching films where I introspected and exposed my insecurities, they just cracked jokes about my dick and asked inappropriate questions about my body.

How are men supposed to be the most empathetic version of themselves that women say they want when they are barred from academia, the Humanities, and any discussion about sex and gender. They feel qualified to gaslight generations of kids and female professors will lie to girls and tell them things like all men like sex all the time, men hate when you ask them out, men are trying to impress you. None of that shit is true and they have no idea about how testosterone works on the brain.

One professor denied nocturnal emissions exist and another said a man can't be raped.

I realized that even though I love learning and the subjects I studied, there was no longer room for any critical thinking. You had to repeat what they said even if it wasn't true or you'd be shunned and cut off from support.

It's wrong. These are supposed to places where we seek truth and truthful discussion.