~ archived since 2018 ~

Stop only talking to girls

BasicCable23 · 2017-07-12T17:09:39+00:00

Improving your social skills takes practice, and starting conversations with everyone is great. Helps you make more friends, gets you in that social mood, and...

BasicCable23

July 12, 2017

32 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	Stop only talking to girls
Author	BasicCable23
Upvotes	32
Comments	28
Date	July 12, 2017 5:09 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6mvckt/stop_only_talking_to_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/stop-only-talking-to-girls.1430325 https://theredarchive.com/post/1430325

Comments

[–]p1243 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]galactic_fury 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]EmotionalChicken 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]galactic_fury 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]scatmanl0l5 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Jacob_961 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]deathmaster13 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]olronk 9 years ago [recovered] (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]DaygameCoach 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]olronk 9 years ago [recovered] (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]DaygameCoach 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

You did respond with a self-limiting belief (and excuse), that you are not attractive. If you believe it is true, then it is for you. Oh, you are JUST stating them? No, you are REINFORCING the things that hold you back.

I am short, chubby, balding, and older, and do well with women. You need to understand that women and men are not the same in regards to how they register attraction. For men, she's initially hot or she's not...based on her looks. For women, in person a lot of attraction is HOW YOU MAKE THEM FEEL. Women respond well to confident men who are CLEAR in their intent and have any number of other attractive characteristics (including leader, protector, being social, good sense of humor, strong identity, etc.). Make women feel how they NEED to feel! Don't get me wrong, it would be more difficult for me if i was 150 lbs overweight instead of 30... fitness and outer game (including dress style) are important, but so are inner game, approach, and the characteristics I mentioned above.

Again, Please don't respond to this with excuses or self limiting beliefs.

-Cuisine Daygamer,net

[–]olronk 9 years ago [recovered] (13 children) | Copy Link

I apologize for responding like that, it's difficult for me to recognize limiting beliefs and what they cause as I've never really dated before or anything so I don't really know what I'm doing in that regard.

I'm short myself at about 5'9, not really balding but my hair grows very fast so I have to keep it trimmed and styled right frequently, I'm currently about 16-20lbs over my BMI weight but I've lost about 110lbs since I started lifting and dieting about 2 years ago, I am older as well though.

I only really take progress pics and I would PM you my most recent one so you know what I mean in comparison to most men.

I'm not sure how I make women feel but considering none has ever really found me attractive in that way I figure I have more work to do on myself in order to get more in line with what women are attracted to.

I always appreciate your advice not only to me but to the rest of the posts/comments you've made in the past. And yes I've visited your website and find it helpful as well, it's on my list to frequent whenever I seek extra information every now and then, so thanks for that.

[–]DaygameCoach 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]olronk 9 years ago [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]DaygameCoach 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]olronk 9 years ago [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link

Ok, I see what you mean by IOI, I don't think I've ever had happen those before.

I've read a few books from PUAs here and none of them have really mentioned anything I'm not already aware of or for the most part it feels like I'm not the target audience for the books as a lot of the content doesn't seem yo be catered towards men who aren't very good looking so some of it doesn't even really apply.

I feel there needs to be more books and information catered towards below average men who aren't attractive to women in order for me to relate.

I'll give the books a read anyway cause I trust your reccomendations and I'll let you know if it is compatible with my situation.

It's not really that I believe women don't like me, it's moreso the fact that I'm 25 and never really had a woman interested in me innthat way. So there are changes that I need to make in order for me to be more in line with what women find attractive, and that's what I'm currently working on for a few years now.

[–]DaygameCoach 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]olronk1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well I'm short too at 5'9 and about 15-21lbs over my BMI weight that I should be (I'm still working on losing it but I've lost about 110lbs so far and targeting those last lbs are proving to be difficult but I'm trying).

I believe I've put in a lot of work to change myself for the better in pretty much every way but that really hasn't helped me with women so I'm mostly still going because it makes me feel good and helps my overall quality of life.

I only mentioned the book and advice because I haven't really seen any advice or information catered to less than average looking men or men who aren't very good looking. I feel that there is a missed opportunity to help out those men who don't have the options that other men do, I would think that somewhere in the pick up community there would be something akin to that no?

Approach 10 women a day, 5 days a week for six months, and get back to with how it goes.

When you say approach you mean ask out on a date? I'm not sure where I'd be able to go to do that to 10 women a day.

[–]DaygameCoach1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]olronk1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]DaygameCoach1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]olronk1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]DaygameCoach1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Because it is SUPER obvious! You can't respond to anything without self limiting beliefs and putting yourself down. Besides you described your height and weight. Everyone gets IOIs but you can't see them because your confidence is so low. I am shorter than you, more overweight than you, balding and older...and I do well because I spent years working on my game and confidence. However you look, there are men out there who looks worse and do better with women than you.... so stop putting yourself down, and kill the self limiting beliefs...and get out there on a daily basis and approach women. I've mentioned all of this to you in this thread already.

PLUS, a LOT of attraction women feel for women have to do with how the man makes them feel, and personality and inner game (including confidence and leading) and outer game (including dress style)and approach have a lot to do with that. It is NOT all about looks.

[–]olronk1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I think I've mentioned here before my height and weight so you'd know that I'm pretty short myself and technically overweight according to my BMI. But I am working on that though.

I mean I've never really had an IOI in my life before so I'm not exactly sure what makes you say that it's universal, but I'll trust you on it, I just don't know your basis for saying so as a fact.

I am shorter than you, more overweight than you, balding and older...and I do well because I spent years working on my game and confidence.

Considering we are both short, overweight and older I think my natural looks probably aren't as good as yours to compensate for all that.

However you look, there are men out there who looks worse and do better with women than you....

Are you sure? I mean I'm not very good looking to begin with and I think you probably have an idea that I'm like super good looking or something which is the only reason why I even inquired you to at least take a look at a photo because I think that way you'd have a better idea of what I look like in comparison to other men my age you know?

and get out there on a daily basis and approach women. I've mentioned all of this to you in this thread already.

Talking to people is one thing but I wouldn't really know where to go and what to say to random women who I don't know. Not sure if there are places that would welcome that around my area.

PLUS, a LOT of attraction women feel for women have to do with how the man makes them feel

Well I figure that if a woman isn't attracted to a man then she's not going to date him. I don't think I've ever seen a woman date a man that she wasn't attracted to before. I don't know how that bodes for men who aren't considered attractive looking by women.

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]olronk1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I totally agree with the video, I'm not really the type of person to not take responsibility for my actions or my life. If anything I do everything that I can to focus on things that are within my control because I believe that stressing over things that I have no control over is pretty dumb and an easy way to become frustrated at things that don't need to be.

His view of not making excuses is real and it's something that I learned early on from my family, I knew I was fat before so I took control of that and dieted/lifted two years ago and still doing it now. I knew that I was super dependent on my family who aren't very good people to begin with so I risked everything to move away from them and cut all ties and now I'm a stronger more independent person for doing something like that.

That being said, while is IS a great video with good life advice in general, I don't really see how it correlates to women or attraction honestly. I think it's no secret that date men that they are attracted to, and if you're not attractive to women then obviously women aren't really going to be attracted to you, what I've done about this is that I've focused on things within my control such as dieting, exercise, grooming, clothing, lifestyle, financial stability, etc.

Short of plastic surgery, which I'm not comfortable doing, those are things withing my control. I do not make excuses for my lack of looks, instead I do what I can to compensate for them in ways that I can.

This isn't really about excuses as mentioned in the video, it's more so of not being able to meet women's standards. I just turned 25 and I've never really been able to attract a woman before so about 2 years ago I decided to work on myself in ways mentioned above. While it has increased my quality of life I've also noticed that it hasn't really changed anything at all when it comes to women finding me attractive.

So I've learned a few things due to that, (like it was stated in the video) I have two options currently. Give up and stop working on myself because I was about to give up earlier this year and just stop working out and stop improving myself because I realized that even after 2 years of dedication of improving who I was physically and mentally I still wasn't considered attractive by women's minimum standards.

Instead I realized that even though I started self improvement as a way to make myself more attractive, I failed in that regard BUT I did make myself feel better, I did increase my quality of life and I completely eradicated all the toxic people and family in my life and now live how I want on my time. And that's honestly what I've always wanted, so knowing that I'm in control of my own life now makes it so where I have endless options as to where I want to go.

So I'm not really a person to rely on excuses because I do believe that with every one of our actions there is an element of control that we have over them, so we shouldn't really blame everyone else but look inwards like the guy in the videos said. This is basic life advice that I believe everyone inherently knows but some people might need to be reminded if they haven't felt the need to practice this in a real life situation for whatever reason.

But in terms on what it has to do with how attractive you are or good looking you are to women? I don't think it has any correlation, as I've done exactly that but am still not really considered attractive to women.

So I understand that I have more work to do on myself to improve who I am instead of making excuses and making dumb claims it's women's fault or society's fault you know?

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link