Cold approach problem.

Mouthpiece · 2017-07-13T02:45:22+00:00

Replace your toxic mindset with a more positive one. You're going to brighten someone's day by having a positive, uplifting interaction with her, and you don't care about the outcome beyond that.

Rinse, repeat as needed.

imnothere1357 · 2017-07-13T07:08:56+00:00

The best way to handle this is to replace your current habit with a different one. Currently, it seems like your arc is something like this:

Cue:see pretty women

Action: do nothing

Reward: beat yourself up

You need to replace that arc with a better one. A technique that works for me is the chain together small steps as a way to break bad habits to something like this:

Stimulus: see pretty woman

Action: deep breath

Reward: stimulus for next step of chain

Stimulus: deep breath

Action: first step towards pretty lady

Reward: stimulus for next step of chain

Repeat, concentrating on the individual steps until you've approached. The point of this at first is not the result-the point is to repeat this so that approaching is automatic. Once the approach is automatic then you can concentrate on making the approach a success.

This is an iterative process-you probably won't get the small steps right the first time but as long as you make small improvements you'll be an approach machine in no time!

ImJustSo · 2017-07-13T03:31:15+00:00

Stop thinking so much. You see a girl, you make eye contact, you say, "Hi!" in a friendly tone. See what happens. If it's positive, then keep going and you've done an approach, nbd. If they're just like wrinkling their forehead at you when you say hi, so what...you just had to say one word and the negative response wasn't a big deal either.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-07-13T08:58:56+00:00

I think a more unorthodox approach might be good for you. You're wrapped up in this idea of going out and interacting with strangers. Which you insist must ONLY be girls you find attractive. Couple thoughts about this.

Why?
You do realize that you're cherry-picking the most difficult out of all strangers to interact with, right? Again, why?

What I would suggest is something unorthodox, or actually, something that's really orthodox, at the end of the day. Go out and meet up with mixed groups of men AND women. Mingle. Socialize. Low hanging fruit is out there for a reason, man.

Hang out with new people and get more practiced at interacting with all sorts of people. Men and women. Then it will get easier to deal with attractive girls. Why?

You'll build a foundation of confidence regarding being able to speak with strangers.
You'll be warmed up because you'll be used to talking.
You'll be able to practice conversation skills, etc.

TheWhiteMamba76 · 2017-07-13T03:11:32+00:00

Establish the mentality that whenever a challenge or adversity presents itself, instead of feeling more nervous and anxious, you feel more excited and can't wait to attack it

aswjacob · 2017-07-13T06:46:41+00:00

PM Me

ForeignInUsA · 2017-07-13T08:24:10+00:00

Do it. If you can't just ask for where is the starbucks or even the time. For some people it's good warm up and shit but for me even after doing this for a while I get out of my head only when I do the first approach. Also find wings that helped me out a lot. But in the end bro it's just practice.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-07-13T09:26:17+00:00

Hello, this post is being removed for being too basic and already answered.

Your post is answered in the SIDEBAR

I would also recommend reading 10-20 of the top posts on Seddit: FOUND HERE

If you really want an answer, then please repost in /r/askseddit (not askReddit, but ask SEDDIT).

Thank you!

greenidiot314 · 2017-07-13T04:32:00+00:00

Cold approach is usually one of the worst approaching methods, especially during day-time. A lot of factors have to work right for it to connect. Wait for her to look at you and smile and you'll avoid a lot of unnecessary agony.

Methaxetamine · 2017-07-13T02:13:49+00:00

Just do it. Want me to hold your hand and ask her for you?

Title	Cold approach problem.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	13
Date	July 13, 2017 1:49 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6mykeu/cold_approach_problem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cold-approach-problem.1430352 https://theredarchive.com/post/1430352

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