FYI: I recently started a blog that talks more about this kind of stuff: Socialite Magazine.

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I recently saw a question on Reddit asking how you’re supposed to attract women if you’re aren’t much of an interesting person.

As someone who lives an average, regular 9-5 life, I can relate.

Prior to meeting my girlfriend last year, I went on 40-ish dates within a 9-month span. Yet, I can tell you for a fact that I was never the most interesting guy on a girl's roster. Never. They could’ve picked guys much more interesting than me (especially in San Francisco, where you might be sitting next to a Founder at the bar).

Yet, I found myself winning and dating exotic Europeans on work visas. It was fun but I also had to overcome what I labeled as The Most Interesting Man in the World Syndrome.

Basically, most guys in the community think they’ve got to be the most interesting man in the world to succeed at this game. They have to meditate 5x a week, skydive on weekends or jump off waterfalls in order to qualify to date cute women.

(Kudos if you like to do all that stuff, but I’m personally a man of routine who just wants to go home after a long day of work to eat dinner, read a book, and hit the hay by 9:35 pm... That’s as exciting as my life gets).

Here’s the reality: you don’t have to be the most interesting guy in the room to succeed. You just have to be likable.

That’s it.

Are you a likable guy? Cool, you’ll go a long way.

So if you’re an average dude who lives a regular lifestyle, you can win too...

(If you’re a likable guy.)

Here's what I found being "likable" boils down to:

1) Humor:

Are you kinda funny? Do you laugh at other people’s jokes? Do you have a lame joke or two up your sleeve? Do you know how to be self-deprecating without overdoing it? In other words, do you know how to not be such a serious person? If yes (even if it’s just barely a yes), you’re in the clear.

My personal note: Two years ago, after graduated college and landing my first real job, someone at work asked me, "Laz, why are you so serious man?". Unbeknownst to me, everyone at work knew me as "the serious guy". The worst part is that I didn't consider myself a serious person and this made the whole situation even more confusing. What they meant was that I never cracked jokes with others, I never took the time to "shoot the shit" and banter back and forth with the guy, and this made everyone feel like I was all business. Never fun. It didn't make me a completely pleasant person to be around. Hence why "humor" is an essential pillar of likability.

2) Confidence:

Are you self-accepting of all your flaws and insecurities? Do you know how to shamelessly be yourself? Nobody is 100% confident. Nobody. However, the best guys accept their flaws and just roll with them. Accept all your flaws, work on them, but don’t let them get you down. (By the way, I'm not referring to uber-charismatic, magnetic confidence. I'm just saying, don't be a negative, self-loathing leach who screams of insecurities. As long as you're self-accepting, you're in the clear. I call this "80% confidence" and it's more than enough.)

My personal note: One of the "flaws" or quirks I will always have is that I've got a pinch of awkwardness/shyness to my personality. I'm fairly confident but when it comes to first impressions, I suck at them. I have trouble introducing myself to others. When we finally begin talking, it's always a little awkward or I don't know what to say.

3) Empathy:

Do you know how to read other people? Can you relate well to others and be understanding? Do you know when you’re making someone feel uncomfortable? Do you acknowledge how you might be coming off to another person? If you’re socially intelligent and aware of what’s going on in front of you, you’ll be perceived as more warm and attentive. People like this because it makes them feel comfortable around you. All you gotta do is pay attention to the person in front of you.

My personal note: A lot of other guys are overly focused on practicing their "seductions skills" at the risk of alienating others. At the end of the day, pickup skills are just people skills. It's important to remember the human aspect of all this. Pay attention and listen to the reactions, body languages, or tonalities others are giving away. Know when you can dial things up and know when you've got to dial things down. When you are able to successfully read social situations for what they are, you become a lot more socially intelligent. This adds to your likability factor. You never want to be the guy "weird, creepy" guy who's just trying to "get some". Instead, you want to be the cool, likable guy who everyone likes being around (and, as a byproduct of this, you also "get some").

When you strip down all of the different PUA philosophies and tactics that exist in the world, it all comes down to being a likable person.

The best part about that? Anyone can do work towards that.

To be likable means you have a good sense of humor, some confidence, and a great amount of empathy for the other person.

You don’t have to be the most interesting man in the world to succeed in this game.

If you want to live a more interesting life, that’s because you want to, and you're doing it for yourself.

But you don’t need that to get the girls.

You just gotta be likable.

(P.S. A coach in the past taught me the concept of “good enough”. If you’ve got good enough humor, confidence, and empathy, you will get pretty fuckin’ far. I suggest you don’t overthink these concepts or trip about nailing them to perfection. As long as you put some effort into this, you’ll be fine. Over time, they’ll evolve into perfection.)

Heads up, tomorrow on Snapchat, I'm posting what a top cold-approacher in San Francisco \he's) also my best-friend!\) taught me about learning from others. If you'd like to watch the story, you can add me at "snapsocialguru".