First date coming up and she wants to chill at her place...

NotMyBestEffort · 2018-03-30T17:28:55+00:00

examine what is awkward about putting your arm around a girl who invited you over. 100% made up fear, created from air, in your head. Just touch her, put your arm around her, let her feel your attraction to her - she already showed you her attraction by inviting you over.

B1tlad · 2018-03-30T19:51:39+00:00

The first move is always the most gut wrenching, but you need to focus on escalation. Don't just slip your arm around her randomly, hug her when you get there, when she says something funny laugh and touch her on the arm. When you're sitting together make a comment on the movie whilst touching her knee to make sure you have her attention,, then when it's time to escalate to a romantic place you've already breached that physical boundary, which gives you the opportunity to gauge her reaction to your advances. If she pulls away from this friendly contact, then it's not there yet. If she reacts positively then carry on this trend. Say you want to get more comfortable and cuddle up to her. She wants you to take it to this place, so don't be afraid of it. When I kiss a girl for the first time I always come from a place of 'I just can't stand not kissing you any longer'. The tensions building, you've been touching, laughing, you're thinking about kissing her (which is probably what she's thinking as well), at this point, you're close, you've been testing the waters and know she likes you being in her personal space, you can turn to her and be an inch away from her lips. At that point, she wants you to kiss her. Get her attention, a simple 'hey', look her in the eyes, think about you kissing her. Let that desire flood through you, into your eyes, think about her body and let that unabashed arousal fuel you. She knows you want her, she can see it in your face. Your body language. You're still close. If you're giving off those signals, and she pulls away, it's not ready. If she's holding your gaze, just kiss her. You can even say something simple like 'I'm having a really nice time', but that's not necessary. If you've been escalating slowly through the evening to a romantic place, you know she won't reject you. At that point it's just getting over your fear of actually doing it. That maybe the worst part, but think about the reward. It's worth it :D

Good luck mate. We've all been there. We'll all be awaiting the results ;)

ImJustSo · 2018-03-30T16:46:06+00:00

Touch her every opportunity you see. If she walks by, in front of your, touch the small of her back and guide her forwards. If she's wearing jewellery, reach for it and make contact with her skin and ask her about it. If she sits next to you, spread out and make your legs touch.

Think of it like a cold swimming pool that you don't want to dive head first into and work your way up to being fully submerged. One step at a time. Eventually you'll be comfortable.

2018-03-30T18:11:28+00:00

I feel like there's a lot of green lights here that are basically subtle ways of her telling you to make a move. Let's think about this:

1) She tells you her mom is gone so you two have the place to yourselves. This means no interruptions and you can say/do whatever you want without fear of her mom walking in. She also invited you over to her house to hang out on the first date, this is a good sign and tells me she's open to anything happening. Rest assured you're not the first guy who's been in this situation with her, and that's ok. Use it.

2) She tells you her room is off limits? Why would she say this? Does she think you will try to have sex with her? Probably. This is a test to see how you react. She's already probably thinking about sex, hence mentioning the bedroom, and you must have responded to her liking because now it's suddenly not closed off. Good job, make the most of this, even if it's just leads to making out.

Like others have said, use every opportunity to touch her and escalate and you will do fine. If you are awkward and wait until the end of the show/movie to put your arm around her like a dork, or to go in for a lame kiss, you're shooting yourself in the foot. Just let it flow naturally and don't put her on a pedestal! She is just another human being, who obviously likes you enough to invite you over to hang out alone, so assume attraction and make your move. If she rejects you, back off and try again later.

Good luck.

Mr-Ed209 · 2018-03-30T17:48:51+00:00

It's all about breaking the touch barrier early so making the move is no big deal. Heres things i've learned in my time over a series of mistakes and successes.

Take a bottle of wine - it just makes things easier.
Hug her when she opens the door - nothing drastic just a quick break of the touch barrier.
When you first sit in the couch together, sit really close to her. Girls generally sit in weird positions with their feet up on the couch or cross legged. Make it so your legs are touching, you can immediately rest your hand on her knee while watching a movie.
If you're struggling, your go to move is to say it's cold and ask if she has a blanket. You can joke about cuddling for warmth if needs be.
There the 'hardest' parts in my opinion because if you don't break that touch barrier you can get sort of trapped where making the move becomes too big a deal.

readonlyuser · 2018-03-30T21:35:44+00:00

"my parents aren't home, and we can watch Netflix. But we can't go into my room, actually yes we can totally go into my room." that's some top secret code right there, but if I cracked it correctly, she's looking to smash lol. Literally just start touching her and getting close until you are basically spooning and go from there.

popcornplayaa28 · 2018-03-30T21:46:45+00:00

She's tryna fuck

2018-03-30T17:00:22+00:00

Relax. You'll be anxious and it's ok if you fuck up. Just go slow. Slowly touch and if she's up for it. Kiss

StanlyLife · 2018-03-30T21:12:33+00:00

Had the same thing a couple of days ago. Be confident. Listen to pump up music before getting there. Drink a red bull and when you get there, br polite and confident, when you sit down in the bed just put your hand around her if you feel like it.

Think; its better to push and get as far as possible than not getting anywhere and missing your shots. Worst case scenario, she says no and you both know where you stand

CYBORGMEXICAN · 2018-03-30T21:29:20+00:00

Lots of good advice in this thread. Just remember, if she is inviting you over on a first date you are fucking golden. She finds you very attractive and/or is very comfortable already. Relax!

joeyggg · 2018-03-30T23:13:24+00:00

Decide on a movie before you go. Otherwise it’s going to be a good 45 mins to an hour and a half trying to find something on Netflix

brandopresto · 2018-03-30T23:19:45+00:00

If she’s doing it with you, she’s done i it with other guys. She’s either trying to test your respect for her or how good you are at sex. Up to you to figure it out.

P.S. horror is the best way to get your arm around her

canarywocoalmine · 2018-03-30T18:49:37+00:00

Don't start by slipping your arm around. Start by touching safer places first, forearm, upper arm, when your talking and making a point. Knees, lower thigh, see how that goes. If she's receptive so far, you can give her a shoulder massage. Think of it as a slow progression where you watch how she reacts. If she reacts badly, don't apologize, just go back a step to where she is comfortable. Personally I would say don't have the end goal as sex, have the end goal as going as far as she feels comfortable. That might be sex, which means, take condoms, make sure you are clean and smell good, etc. But progress as far as you can, don't appologize, don't look disappointed if she stops you at some point.

Kenic_In_MD · 2018-03-30T17:50:11+00:00

She also told me that her room is off limits

I had an ex tell me this once, we just made out and cuddled on the couch. It was cool.

My advice, take it easy and have fun. Don't rush anything or you'll come off as needy

markemusic · 2018-03-30T19:57:50+00:00

Bro you're thinking too much. But if you need something to just get going. You can say I like your pants/shorts. Whatever she's wearing then touch and feel. Wrap your arm around her. Take it slow. One step at a time. Build her up.

SkatingOnThinIce · 2018-03-31T05:20:29+00:00

Congrats. Ma'man.

TruthSFree · 2018-04-02T14:36:21+00:00

Hi, focus on #6, #7, #9, let me know if this helps.

https://www.truthrelationshipmanagement.com/new-blog/2018/3/1/same-night-lays-the-holy-grail?rq=hand%20neck%20cheek%20lips

Aarxnw · 2018-04-02T20:31:48+00:00

If you're trine get close to her, excuse yourself to go toilet or get a drink and when you come back sit down right next to her with your arm behind her resting on the back of the sofa or something. Easiest way imo. Just make sure you've been building the chemistry prior to this move so it doesn't come out of nowhere.

2018-03-30T17:44:51+00:00

This is easy.

Since you'll be at her house, likely watching Netflix at some point and if she sits next to you, that's a green light to kinda rub up against her and see how she reacts. Then from there, rest your hand on her leg and see what happens, then arm around her to see...and then just kiss her at some point. It's less awkward than you think it might be.

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-03-31T07:02:02+00:00

Bring food and alcohol, and don't be in a hurry to get laid. Remember its a good investment in going slow, because once you establish a good relationship you both will be doing it like rabbits later.

For now just have fun. Its the comfort building stage. Don't be a creeper trying to get the goods.

Title	First date coming up and she wants to chill at her place...
Author	ISCOREDwithISCO
Upvotes	48
Comments	30
Date	March 30, 2018 4:29 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/88bmtf/first_date_coming_up_and_she_wants_to_chill_at/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/first-date-coming-up-and-she-wants-to-chill-at-her.1443997 https://theredarchive.com/post/1443997

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