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[–][deleted] 36 points37 points38 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
After meeting new people and figuring out if you're intested, the key takeaway is TO SHOW INTEREST. Preferably show through physical or non-verbal means. Indicators of interest they're called, no?
Most people are too fearful to do that, and then they wonder why all their bluster and arrogance and cockiness doesn't come across or makes them look like an unattractive, inauthentic dickhead. It's pretty much what is implied when folks talk about inner game but I guess it needs to be said. Someone who is happy within themselves would be likelier to act on their interests without much hesitation or self-doubt.
Gotta say, as someone who is settled down, I still enjoy reading FRs. Happy for you.
edit:
I just couldn't believe that they were so ok with being chatted up.
What did you think they're out for? They could be at home having a girls-night-in or what have you. There is a reason people go out to socialize... like stray atoms in the boundless space, deep down we're all hoping to defeat the infinitesimal odds and bounce into another person.
[–]bugxter 11 points12 points13 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
the key takeaway is TO SHOW INTEREST
It is that simple, but not really easy. I guess it's because when you show interest and you get shutdown you feel like complete shit.
So yeah, it is simple but it's not hard to understand why people are wary of it.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then there is no point to go out in the world if you want the spoils but refuse to risk enduring a simple rejection. Not heartbreak, not poverty, not physical pain... but a rejection?! No one simply owes you their time or attention, much less their love and sex.
[–][deleted] 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Ever heard of IOIs?
[–][deleted] 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Look up indicators of interest, it's a really basic concept. People, when aroused or interested, give off all sorts of signs and queues.
Most of the time, it's a guy trying to detect IOIs before making a next move or escalation but it works the other way too. And not just in seduction - in any human interaction it helps to notice them.
[–]sharp____elbows 51 points52 points53 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This reads like a teenagers fantasy.
[–]yoproldn 43 points44 points45 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It was. Just took until my 20s to get there haha.
[–]Mr_Wasteed 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So the game is the book by neil Strauss?
[–]yoproldn 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, for a while it was one of the most talked about books in the world. Some of it is pretty stupid but when I read it at 18 with literally no awareness of how to act with women it provided some good lessons.
If you take some of the underlying themes it's great - also just a fun read!
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This reminds me of a revelation I had ages ago. Attractive women are often easier to pickup because they’re used to it, expect it, comfortable with it. Where as unattractive girls often block you because of their own insecurities.
[–]ChocolateGlamazon27 13 points14 points15 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
They know you are trying to pick them up and are FINE WITH IT! (If you are good at it lol)
THIS.
This is all women want men to understand. You summarised this so well. I need to show this to my male cousin because I keep trying to help him and he doesn't get it. We are fine and we are waiting for you guys to get the courage to pick us up, period, end of.
[–]ateyiz 8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So uh you come here often ?
[–]PlayLikeNeverB4 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Except when the guy is unattractive.
[–]BrownThunderMK 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My friend who is a 5'3, balding 21 year old male gets far more female attention than I do, and I'm more conventionally good looking than him. The reason? He's far more relatable and charismatic than I am. He has a bigger friend circle and it lets him get in touch with more quality women.
Looks matter I won't pretend that they don't but it's not everything.
[–]beastboi27 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's awesome.
My issue has always been not showing proper interest when a girl shows me interest. I guess I'm afraid of escalating and coming off as a creep when I try to kino
[–]One_Insanity 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Man the logic of this post just doesn't add up.
You can get laid and you know it. But approaching a girl is frightening?
Sorry but that's just weird to me, personally.
It's like firing a 50 cal machinegun but turning around and saying "Yeah that glock is just a bit too much sand for my truck".
[–]Peter_B_Long 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Well you can still get laid in other ways than cold approaching. There's online game and dating apps. Also, social circle game where you escalate with friends of friends. Guys can avoid cold approaching and still get laid, but because cold approaching is so difficult to do and difficult to be good at, the pay off is huge. This is why the quality of women you can pick up from cold approaching is so high. Because so few guys will cold approach a woman, and even fewer guys can successfully cold approach a woman.
This is why OP was able to get a positive interaction with the hottie he mentioned. Because he showed bravery and he applied the tips he's learned through his readings.
[–]One_Insanity 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I think it may be how you look at it.
Because to me it has to do with not feeling yourself. Feeling inadequate and knowing you're not really that attractive to women so why bother with that when you should be working towards becoming fulfilled and confident in oneself with a solid and functioning life.
And this would apply to any kind of interactions with women you're attracted to. Whether within social circle or otherwise.
It's not cold approaching itself. It's the inexperience and the awareness of your glaring shortcomings when it comes to being attractive.
Something a guy that's getting laid, shouldn't really have unless he's fucking 4s and 5s just to get his rocks off. But if you're bedding hot girls through other means(other than cold approach) I don't get why a man wouldn't be confident to walk up to a girl irl.
Especially since the man in question is on here and he knows cold approaching is a thing.
[–]yoproldn 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I would say for me it's about assumed attraction. Most girls I have slept with have been through apps or girls who have seen me play music live / or social circle. I knew they were into me.
This for me was the first time of getting in the cold deep end a total nobody stranger, and coming out the other side with a win.
[–]One_Insanity 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I totally get what you mean.
My point is that you knew girls were into you. So that, at least in my head, should've upped your confidence in who and what you are.
But yeah I understand you.
[–]yoproldn 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The brain is a funny thing.
[–]Peter_B_Long 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because cold approaching isn't just about knowing that you can sleep with other girls. Cold approaching itself caries a ton of pressure and fear for guys. It's the fear of the unknown. Fearing getting harshly rejected in front of everyone. It's social pressure.
I've also been in OP's shoes. I used to get a lot of attention from girls in high school. A lot of the girls that I was crushing on I was able to at least kiss them or get them to be cool with me. One thing though is that I never cold approached in person. Even though we were in the same school, same grade, same class, etc. I never had the balls to cold approach. Even though I had pretty good success, and at one point was sleeping with (IMO) one of the hottest girls in school, I never went up to a random girl and said hi. I would message them on facebook or ask a friend to introduce me or probably never even talk to her.
If I had went up to the hottest girl in school and said something like, "Hey I've never seen you before, you're probably sneaking in from a different school huh" I would've had a much better chance than if I were to have messaged her on facebook which is what every other guy was doing.
[–]Sproxxx 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Everyone have their limiting beliefs and no one likes the thought of rejection.
Try flipping the genders. Most women can easily get laid if they really want to, but a lot of girls (party-girls aside) wouldn't be comfortable cold-approaching an attractive man. Some are able to do it, but since they don't have to do it it's never become a required skill for most women.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Reading the game right now and yes it's a good book! Wish have red it earlier !
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Literally no take back from this post.
What was you epiphany, I failed to understand?
Merely showing interest? Other PUAs go as far as saying show little to no interest.
I myself show interest and it gets me no where...
[–]XDarkstarX1138 -3 points-2 points-1 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Fingering her under the table? How did she not get offended? Most girls I've talked to would seem offended by that.
Of course it depends on the girl, but once you've set the precedent you know what you are doing with women a VASTLY different world opens up to you (than say you are still being a friend type). I used to be like that in my teens and never understood how my natural friend could do stuff like this.
I'll tell you a secret though - a ridiculous number of women like public fun, especially if no one knows and its happening right in front of them.
p.s. I wouldn't recommend making (and hypothesising) a rule based on the girls you've talked to as a rule for women in general!
[–]XDarkstarX1138 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well, how did you go about suggesting that or what did you do that got her interested?
XDarkstarX1138
If you want advice to specific questions just message me pal.
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[–][deleted] 36 points37 points38 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]bugxter 11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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