Girls saying they felt like it was more of a friendly hang out than a date during coffee dates

LAdude71 · 2018-11-18T12:02:17+00:00

You have to have sex on your mind as the end game.

You have to break the touch barrier. Invite her back to your place. Even if she declines, she knows you have sex with her on your mind.

You can either be freindly with a girl or sexual. You can't be friendly AND sexual. It won't register in her mind being both.

Stop fapping to porn. That was my problem. Fapping to porn made my brain 'satisfied' so I wasn't seeking sex from my dates and ended up getting friend-zoned. Since I stopped fapping to porn I've gotten sex from dates because my brain wasn't 'satisfied'. It was looking to get sex and I acted flirty and in ways that the girl knew I wanted sex. Once you established that you're sexual with the girl she won't see you as a friend. She'll think of you in a sexual way. Thats what you gotta do... always flirt, sit close enough to touch her in a non creepy way, go for the kiss, keep things lite and positive. Invite her back to your plase ASAP. Even if she declines, she may accept the invite another time. She knows you're inviting her back to your place for some bedroom action.

LAdude71 · 2018-11-18T15:12:08+00:00

As soon as possible. Yes! On a first date. But gradually, in a non-creepy, non-desperate way. How do you know she just wants a sex hook up? She won't come out and say it for fear of being thought of as a slut. I'd say 85 persent of women who go out on dates just want sex, although they won't come right out and say it. This is 2018. Not 1985. The dating climate has changed and traditional relationships are going out of style. You have to ptesent yourself as a "smooth operator" with women these days. Present yourself as a sexual being. A guy who's not afraid of his sexual desire. Even on a first date, assume she just wants sex. Meet for coffee or a drink AFTER dinner. (do not establish taking women to dinner and paying for it. You'll set yourself up to get used by women.) Make up some type of excuse to invite her back to your place (watch a movie, see you collection of something, desert, whatever). If she declines give her 2 more chances. If she declines 3 times - drop her. There's more women out there. If you want a relationship with her, you must establish you're a sexual guy FIRST. Then after you two start hooking up you can get to know her more. YES YES YES! On the first date.

c4toyourdoornobeef · 2018-11-18T15:08:33+00:00

Because coffee is a friendly thing to do. Take her for drinks and escalate until she’s on her back at your place

A_man_of_culture_cx · 2018-11-18T13:53:34+00:00

!remindme 72 hours

coreyrude · 2018-11-18T14:43:54+00:00

I almost always reject coffee dates or dates before 7pm. To me this is just asking to be put in the friend zone, obviously there are lots of guys who can pull off a good coffee date I just know in not one of them.

noprideinsomniac95 · 2018-11-18T12:54:00+00:00

Without more information, it's hard to nail down for sure, but you're probably not making yourself come across as boyfriend/hookup material. Try hugging them when you first see them, minor touching, teasing them, bringing up "innuendo"

Manners2210 · 2018-11-18T21:36:23+00:00

Coffee is tough due to its nature, a lot of the time you’ll come across as boring, or nice (or both) just due to the surroundings, time (will prob be afternoon or early evening) and the fact that most girls that suggest coffee, probably aren’t going to be up for a fling that day. I usually steer clear of coffee for these very reasons, but you have to flirt, but not be creepy, try and get her into a mindset of fun and suggest a drink right now to change the ambiance. But generally she’s either got off work, won’t feel like she’s dressed for a bar, or she simply wanted a coffee to see what you’re like then go home or whatever.

Murfdigidy · 2018-11-19T02:24:39+00:00

I see alot of decent advice on here and a lot of horrible advice. At the end of the day flirting is an art and so is seduction.

Guys need to get it out of their head that if you do this or that you're more likely to get friend zoned, or if I take a girl to X it will lower your chances or increase it.

Yes sure some date destinations are better than others BUT NO destination of a date is a deal breaker, what is a deal breaker is how the guy acts on a date.

Guys don't friend zone themselves because they're being friendly, they friend zone themselves by the way they carry themselves and how they do that carrying around women. A good PUA once said I'm friends with lots of girls, I'm never worried about being friend zoned because I know I could escalate with anyone of them if given the chance or if I wanted to.

You see it's not the coffee date that was wrong it was the way OP carried himself on the date. Maybe he was overly nice, or too interviewy, or boring. Whatever it was it didn't stimulate the girl to escalate.

Side bar is a big help here, the key to seduction is to find what flirting techniques fit your your personality best. Good seduction techniques include body posture, eye contact eye contact eye contact, I've gotten girls attracted to me just by looking them in the eye. Girls love it and find it incredibly sexy. But also have fun, I love teasing a girl. I get to know her what she loves then I get her emotional about what she loves. I mix up the tension by teasing her or calling her a Dork. Anyway there's tons of info, but that's the jist. Read the sidebar, great info there

LAdude71 · 2018-11-19T19:18:34+00:00

I would say gauge it. Personally I wouldn't do sexual jokes or innuendos until we already had sex at least the first time. There's a fine line between being flirty and being creepy. Women can pick up on this before we do.

I'd say act like you wanna get to know her while out for drinks. Invite her to your place to hang out. Then F close.

Every time you two get together you should be trying to F close - even if you go to an amusement park or a museum for dates. Your place should be the 'sex place' to go to.

I'm with you. I never thought women just wanted to get laid either, until last year. I had one chick into me and she just wanted to cheat on her boyfriend. I kept throwing boyfriend/relationship vibes at her and she finally rejected me as a dud.

So yea. I'd say most women just want laid. Even if they want a relationship you STILL have to lead with sex. The sex will get her thinking about you when you're not together.

Rollo Tomassi said if you don't lead with sexual intent she'll think of you as a sexless stuffed animal that hangs out at the foot of her bed.

Title	Girls saying they felt like it was more of a friendly hang out than a date during coffee dates
Author	trev3795
Upvotes	30
Comments	50
Date	November 18, 2018 11:38 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9y5cgx/girls_saying_they_felt_like_it_was_more_of_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girls-saying-they-felt-like-it-was-more-of-a.1456962 https://theredarchive.com/post/1456962

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